SRS I can't sit still and in turn, it's making me broke

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by themadpaki, Jan 4, 2007.

  1. themadpaki

    themadpaki There is no money. OT Supporter

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    I don't know how many times I have to keep going through this. I can't change. It's been like this since I was sixteen. I'm twenty-fucking-three years old and turning 24 in March. I have zero dollars in savings and make more then i fucking need too. I'm moving this month and I can't even pay for the security deposit to get in. I have to borrow money. I can't stop it. I told myself I would stop going out to lunch for new years..whoops, It's Jan. 4th and I went out to lunch every fucking day so far. I can't stop. It's an addiction. It's like a drug. I'm sitting at my desk looking at food I have so i eat it instead of going out, and all my co-worker has to say is, "Lunch?" and I get this burning senssation. It's so fucking desireable i can't say no. I never have.

    When I am able to pull it off, not go out to lunch during the week, i completely fuck it up over the weekend. I take friends out to dinner and spend morei n one night then i did in three weeks in college! :madfawk: I cant' stop!

    So to push myself I am moving two miles from work. I'm going to leave my wallet at home. I'm going to cut all of my CC's in half. I'm going to walk to work. I'm going to force myself to suffer. I'm just scared for the weekend. I get that itch and there's nothing there to distract me. I could go shopping, i could go out, i could go buy food, clothes, watch a movie. But i can't stay home. I can't read a book. I can't sit still.

    I just need some advice. I don't know how long i'll last. I get paid on the 15th, and with that cash in my account, I won't even remember this thread. :wtc:
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    could you look into locking your checking account or something (basically, do something to make it hard for you to get out your money), and set up to have your bills deducted automatically from it each month?

    You should probably consider moving back in with parents or a friend for now until you can get a handle on all this. I have a feeling that this has probably already negatively affected your credit history, which will impact everything else.

    Another thing you might want to do is consult a doctor. Some of this sounds a little like ADD...it might be worth looking into.
     
  3. themadpaki

    themadpaki There is no money. OT Supporter

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    I think I might need medication as well. My credit is fine. It's hurting a little right now becuase my balances are high. It's kind of what pinches me every month. I'm going to just cut all of my cards including my checking card and withdraw cash from the bank from now on. Maybe weekly and if i run out, i run out. It will force me to save and hopefully grow accustom to living a less wreckless lifestyle.
     
  4. themadpaki

    themadpaki There is no money. OT Supporter

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    i'm gonna make this an ongoing thread. I'm moving on the 14th.
     
  5. blackgrrl23

    blackgrrl23 If the game ain't money, then I ain't playing.

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    Don't cut your cards....throw them in a tupperware dish, run water over them, and put it in your freezer. You would have to wait a very long time for them to defrost before you could use them and by then, the urge to spend should have passed. Get yourself one small credit card (say $300 limit) and use that as your day-to-day card (meaning gas, oil changes, small meals) and freeze the rest of your cards...even the check card. make yourself go inside the bank if you need cash that bad. :coold:

    Also get checked for any ADD/OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) :o
     
  6. themadpaki

    themadpaki There is no money. OT Supporter

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    :eek3: you are a motherfucking genious. i love you forever for this thread.


    i'm moving on monday. It's also payday. where i am forcing my savings to begin. I WILL do it :mad: :o
     
  7. RotiEatter

    RotiEatter New Member

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    You should try mod edit: no advocature of drug usage please :hsnono:. Then you'll want to sit at home and enjoy your house.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 12, 2007
  8. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    I want you to read your post.

    Do you see yourself addressing the issue or masking it?

    Personally, you will not improve with medication, for it is a cyclic thought proccess driving you to do this.

    There are books that can help you with this. Break out a load of cash and buy as many of those books as you can. Just kidding.

    Seriously, get some books relating to that subject. Obsessive spending books are out there.

    You are focusing on how you want to feel today, and it is making you feel misrible for tommorow, amirite?

    So focus on tommorow, so you can be happy tommorow, then the next tommorow, ect.

    Sorry dude, I can't afford to go out to lunch today I am broke. (Bring own lunch)

    Minimize addictions and spending. Replace with cheep or free activities to fill in the gaps, for the win.
     
  9. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    The only problem with this is when you realize that the microwave is right there and it does a great job at defrosting and thawing....beware :nono: . I've tried this trick before and the microwave was just laughing at me the whole time.
     
  10. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    I do this! The best thing I could ever do for myself. I get the urge to go out and so on. Mine have been sitting in the freezer since november!
     
  11. whatever

    whatever OT Supporter

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    ING account + automatic withdraw to savings + having someone else change the password for you = forced money management
     
  12. themadpaki

    themadpaki There is no money. OT Supporter

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    this is also a fantastic idea.



    I got paid today.


    I'm kind of nervous.

    I thought I was going to be paid on Monday.

    I find it kind of funny how I am afraid of it. Every time i get paid i'm like :eek3: when i see my account. How do i spend all of this? Jesus.


    Time to crack down. :mad:
     
  13. themadpaki

    themadpaki There is no money. OT Supporter

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    :rofl::o thanks. I actually like reading self help books. I'll go sit in a B&N and read them instead of purchasing them. It will be something "free" to do.
     
  14. themadpaki

    themadpaki There is no money. OT Supporter

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    I'm doing good so far. Staying within my $10 a day. Last weekend I only purchased a fridge (which i think is excuseable. I mean, i gotta eat.) and went out to dinner once. Today I have tomorrow's money in my pocket. I plan on spending around $6-7 for lunch so i can get a double shot @ starbizzle as well.
     
  15. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Learn how to cook exotic foods. Not only will you spend less then going out, but you're learning an awesome skill that will impress people and will take up time to do. This will keep you busy, and after a while you'll laugh at your friends that pay $15 for a shitty meal at Fridays and you can cook enough for your lunch the next day as well. Plus it'll put your new fridge to good use.
     
  16. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    I personally don't agree with medication.

    Learning to cook is a great way to get yourself away from those kinds of urges.

    I think you really need to work yourself off of starbucks. It's a bad habit and you really don't need it. I guess that's easy for me since I don't need caffeine in my body, but if you need doubleshots, then i guess one a day isn't bad.

    What I usually do for lunch when I work is a bring a bagel with some cream cheese with me. It's nice and cheap and it's fast. Lunch should not be a big thing. I know it's a social thing, but even find yourself getting just water and something to snack on. Eat a nice healthy breakfast so that you won't be so hungry for lunch. It will save you a lot of money >.<
     
  17. whatever

    whatever OT Supporter

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    :cool:

    when you have days when you have extra money, dont look at it like extra to spend another day, look at it like its gone anyways. I put my leftover 1's and 5's into my change jar with the rest of my change. Just helps with the money management stuff.
    as far as bigger purchases go. I do my homework online. then I check it out in a store if possible. then.. I sleep on it .. at least a night. most of the time its more like 2-3.
    ex: A wall mount for my monitor. 150 bones for the one i like. Ive been sleeping on it for a couple days now. Just not really sure that I "need" it right now. want the money to go towards some vacation time with my girlie instead. :dunno:
     
  18. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I was only suggested that he go see a doc and get tested for ADD/ADHD...not that he just start taking medication all willy nilly.
     
  19. themadpaki

    themadpaki There is no money. OT Supporter

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    Jesus christ. I'm right back to where i started. I went to mammoth for the weekend.

    Bad idea. I'm broke until the 1st. how sad is that. :wtc: that's a freaking week. wow. go me. I just purchased groceries. So it looks like spending nothing until then.

    I am jack's dissapointment.

    I did fine for the first month. Then i brought out the debit card instead of using cash. It didn't work. I went on a vacation & went crazy. I hate these stupid fucking cycles. I need a self punishment or something. This is crazy!
     
  20. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    I think learning to cook is a good idea. Also LEAVE the debit and credit card at home if you have to...
     
  21. BlackWRX

    BlackWRX New Member

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    Start investing your money. That is how I overcame my spending habits. It really is an addiction when you have the money right there. Investing my money gives me the same satisfaction + it's the best thing you can do with your money. Learning to cook helps a lot too. Once you can cook a good meal, you wont want to eat out anymore.
     
  22. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    IMO your financial woes have more to do with emotional issues then they have to do with money. Suze Orman is a pro at detailing the links between our emotions and our financial woes. People think, ahh that just horse shit...if I had more money I wouldn't have these problems. However, there are many people used to feel this same way and their problems only worsened.

    Sure, if you have zero income and don't live with your parents, then ya, you need more money. HOwever, your problems don't sound like that sort...they sound like you could actually manage to live off what you make but your spending is out of control. If that is true, you'll have to get ahold of your financial problems or they will get ahold of you.

    First thing, stop beating yourself up for making poor choices. Everyone fucks up from time to time. The point is, when you fuck up, don't compound the mistake by continuing to spend. Realize you fucked up again and forgive yourself...then start again.

    Next, you must develop a plan. Cutting up your CC's and punishing yourself may work for a time but just like anyone that's ever been repeatedly punished by their parents, you will rebel. In fact, I think you already have to some extent. Suze Orman and others are great at providing very practical advice on turning around your finances.

    Next, the WORK you must do to change your financial picture is not nearly as fun as blowing loads of cash and living like a pimp. So, it's important that in your plan you have some money set aside to blow. As you learn to create a budget and live with it, you learn that you can actually budget wild and crazy expenses...but you'll also know that you can afford it. Right now you can't.

    Debt Free and Prosperous Living is a tape program (buy from ebay or Amazon) that really helped me. Also Consumer Credit Counseling Service (check your local phone book) is an organization that offers free financial advice to people struggling to live on what they make. They can help you make a budget and provide support while you work your way out of these problems. Also...as was previously suggested, Barnes and Noble have great books as well as your public library.

    ONe truly awesome book is called The Richest Man in Babylon. You should be able to find it anywhere but it's only $7 from amazon. It's a very easy to read book but it's got incrediblly powerful ideas inside it.
    http://www.amazon.com/Richest-Man-Babylon-George-Clason/dp/0451205367

    Stay away from get rich quick schemes and fast cash schemes. You need solid financial advice from people that have been there/done that. There are many free resources available to you...whether you choose to use them or not will be the difference between letting life happen to you or you taking control of your life.

    It's not easy, it's damn sure not sexy but I can assure you, it's worth all the effort.

    Good Luck and God Bless.
     
  23. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    I like the advice but buying books is counter-intuitive to what he wants to do.

    go to the library! If you're not illiterate (which we know you're not..) find some books that interest you.. finance, science. history etc and read... tape your feet to the bed and read all weekend.

    Library books are free if you turn them back in on time.

    Seriously.. I'm horrible with money.. I actually use Paypal to help manage my finances... How? Easy.. the money is there if I need it, but the key word is need. Do I need to think about spending it when I can't access it? Yes. but the fact it takes 3-4 days to get at makes it a lot easier to 2nd guess what I am doing.

    FYI I found a 'budget per day' is a bad idea, but a budget for the week is more reasonable. It allows you to go out on friday night and be cheap Sunday/Mon.. when the money's gone I just suck it up and live off the change in my car.
     
  24. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    you need a hobby dude.



    Computer games and a love for movies have allowed me to live as cheaply as possible through college so far ( but actually most of all it's OT :love: )... you're past that stage yet a hobby could work the same for you. You don't ahve to be a penny pincher and you can still go out and do things you want to do.. but you have to be comfortable with what you've got and be able to enjoy it, otherwise what's the point of having anything?
     
  25. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I mentioned library books and barnes and nobel is free....just don't buy the book.

    However, The Richest Man in Babylon is cheep and it's such a good book that anyone having financial difficulties should make it a part of their permanent library. It's worth every penny....and one can prolly find it even cheeper at used bookstores.

    One of the things that really helped me start turning my financial world around was when I sold something I didn't "need" and used that money to buy something that I believed would help me.....Anthony Robins tape program called "Personal Power". I literally couldn't afford it but I saw it as an important program and something that could help me....if only I worked at it. It was the start of my turn around....and it was by no means a magic bullet. It was however a start.
     

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