I can't seem to sustain a good relationship

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Pseudonym, Jun 13, 2006.

  1. Pseudonym

    Pseudonym --

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    i feel that i can't really keep my relationship with my girlfriend to what i would like it to be. first off, its highschool relationship, my second serious relationship, and her first. Some parts of our relationship seem to be going to the dogs, and i think that its my fault. We have both been very busy lately with work, and school, and we haven't been able to spend much time together. Things have changed alot since we first started going out. I realize this is normal, but i am also starting to think that what she wants in a relationship is something totally different than what i want. i don't want this to go to the dumps because i really like her, and can see us being together for a long time. Im kinda getting the vibe that she needs me as support, someone to talk too, which is often via phone... but it doesn't come down to much more than that. it seems like she wants to spend more time with her girlfriends than me. I think her friends put alot of pressure on her to hang out with them over me. I would like to spend as much time with her as possible, but I am starting to realize that this is not going to happen.

    Should i just get used to how things are, or is there something that i can do to spark this thing back up, and make her want to spend time with me over her friends.
     
  2. GSRwBOOST

    GSRwBOOST New Member

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    nothing before the age of 25 can be considered a long term relationship, much less a relatioship other than friends.

    I woudlnt even worry about it till your 26-27, established in your career, have some money, nice car, house.. etc....

    date her, bang her.... but dont think for one second she's the one for you.

    after your broken up and dating another girl.. you'll feel the same about her.. and the next one and the next one.... till one day you realize that you should have been taking care of #1 and worrying about a relatioship after #1 is satisfied...
     
  3. Pseudonym

    Pseudonym --

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    okay... thanks for your input

    if you were in this situation, at age 26.. what would you do?
     
  4. GSRwBOOST

    GSRwBOOST New Member

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    I was in a situation at 26.. i was married at 25 and my wife was 23.... i didnt know then what i know now... and after 2.5 years we got a divorce (were together 1yr 10 months before we got married with 7 monts of marriage)..

    we ended up in a divorce ...

    knowing waht i know now..i would have waited to get married and/or enter in to a serious relatioship.... and if i was in your shoes now.. i'd let it go..

    you cant rekindle a relationship... onece the spark is gone it's very hard to get back...

    i know one person to get back that spark, my aunt who's super duper religous and believes in her husband (a nice guy really, just likes to drink)... and it's worked out for them...

    my sincere and honest advice...

    move on before she breaks your heart, then it will be harder to get over.. end it amicably and without a fight.. mutually..

    there are a lot of women out there that you will get along with better and the spark wont die....

    I'm 35 if it matters... you wouldnt think thats much of a difference but it's 9-10 years more life experience...

    take a break and enjoy life by yourself for a while... then go back to dating when youve had 3-4 more years of swinging single..
     
  5. Pseudonym

    Pseudonym --

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    okay thanks, that does make alot of sense. i am trying to learn from everything that's happening. I realize that things that happen in highschool, and even many years after are not even close to life and death situations, but im just trying to go through them, and learn for when things are important.

    im still not sure what i am going to do... but i will put some more time into thinking about what is best for me right now, and then go about it that way.

    if anyone else has an opinion, and feel that they can offer it up for me, it would be much appreciated
     
  6. Pseudonym

    Pseudonym --

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    anybody.. i want as much advice before i go and do something i may regret :run:
     
  7. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    I recommend you check out Doc Love (doclove.com, askmen.com/dating/doclove)

    His advice should be right up your alley.
     
  8. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Don't break up with her, but don't make yourself so available to her.

    Think about dangling a string in front of a cat: if you just drop the string in front of it, he will stare at it and eventually walk away.
     
  9. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Thats some of the worst advice I have ever seen given on these forums :ugh:

    What about those of us that had alot of money, established career, nice car, and nice house before 20?
     
  10. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Ah I see, you are digrunteled because you couldnt keep a relationship together, so you dont think other people can. :hsugh:
     
  11. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    There are people your age and older that are still dumb as dirt and have learned nothing from their life experience. Age may make a difference on perspective, but so does the experience itself. You dont get to a certain age and know all
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I do agree with GSR about not needing to worry about the girl being "the one" for hims if they are both still in high school. Sure, a few people in high school stay together and end up together, but the majority of couples in high school do not stay together after high school.

    I say, have fun with the girl, enjoy the relationship, but don't be dead set on it lasting forever. Who knows what will happen after graduation?
     
  13. GSRwBOOST

    GSRwBOOST New Member

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    haha.. far from it.

    I still talk to my ex-wife and we are still friends and there are several ex-girlfriends I still talk to as well....

    just because we dont live together or dont see each other every day or couldnt get along with each other doesn't mean our relationship is a total failure.. we all keep in touch because as adults we understand that there is more to life...

    your right not all people that are older are smart and a lot do the same stupid shit etc.. I don't put myself in that catagory...
     
  14. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    It strikes me that you spend a lot of time on the phone... in my opinion that's a killer. The phone should be used to make dates and other plans. It's not a tool for building relationships.

    You should be hanging out and having fun, not talking about boring problems. You need to FLIRT and joke and have fun.

    Doc Love has some GREAT advice and I highly recommend his stuff. You may also want to check out David DeAngelo's stuff at www.DoubleYourDating.com. Just sign up for his free email thing, it's got good advice.

    Very few highschool relationships last long term. Don't worry. She's not the one if that is the case (and quite frankly it doesn't sound like it to me; if she were she would spend time with you IN PERSON and not with her friends.) Don't worry, learn from your past and learn your mistakes, and move on. As you get older you will make more mistakes until you're perfect ;) and meet the perfect woman. :big grin:
     
  15. Pseudonym

    Pseudonym --

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    thanks everyone... im taking all your good information into account
     
  16. Pseudonym

    Pseudonym --

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    soo.. school is almost over, then right after school she is leaving to go to Europe for a month. i guess i'll just wait things out - make myself not so available, and when she gets back, maybe things can start over, kind of renewed? ill wait and see.
     
  17. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    No, DON'T wait and see. Go date some other women. Waiting = not attractive (unless you're engaged/married/etc.)
     
  18. Pseudonym

    Pseudonym --

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    im in a small town, its not like there are tonnes of women around i can choose from... im pretty picky too. i really don't know what to do.
     
  19. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Move to a big city.
     
  20. JimmyMate

    JimmyMate New Member

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    Haven't the movies taught you anything? You have to chase after her.. Eventually meeting her at the airport terminal gates and crying your undying love for her, otherwise shes lost forever. :hs:
     
  21. Pseudonym

    Pseudonym --

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    lol.. i love the movies - always so much truth in them. i love the ending of Garden State though, gets me everytime.... but still, chasing after a girl :nono:
     
  22. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    :slap:

    Learn to be happy single. Go hang out with guy friends. Drive to the next town for a Friday night. Whatever, just don't pine away over her.
     

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