SRS I can't help to be extremely dissapointed/upset

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by the_rebirth, Mar 23, 2005.

  1. the_rebirth

    the_rebirth embrace

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2001
    Messages:
    663
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    East Coast
    Been on and off with GF for 18 months, has severe baggage, I almost ruined my life for her. Turned my life around, she started getting therapy, and the past weekend was the best time i've ever spent with her.

    I don't agree with "promise rings" because i'm very much a man of my word, and feel like that's all that's needed, but if a 250$ is going to make her feel secure, i'm cool with that.

    Anyway, a month ago I mentioned getting her a ring, but since things haven't been good until recently, I decided to wait a few more months, on principal alone. Last night she pulled her old tactics, "I want the ring now, or don't talk to me again"

    I was taken for a loss. I really thought she was working through her issues, but apparently she hasn't. Unlike the past where i'd blame myself for her problems, i'm hurt, but not destroyed. I'm just going to live for me right now, but I really wish I could help her work through her issues.

    Just wanted to vent :hsd:
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    Don't think about her for a minute. Think about your life. How do you want to live it?
    In an IDEAL world, would you still be with her?
    If you won 10 million bucks, would you still be with her?

    Do you love her? Can you see building a real, solid future with her?
    Can she contribute as an EQUAL partner to this relationship, instead of a bird with a broken wing that you must carefully tend to?

    If you can answer yes, then get her that ring.

    It may have less (or no) value to you, but remind yourself, that when we speak to other people, we should do so in THEIR language if we want to be understood. Meaning, the ring is significant to her. Get it for her.

    Try not to do things purely "on principle" if you know they are against the spirit of togetherness in your relationship. What you're really saying is "I'm doing it MY way, and screw US". Isn't it?

    So think on those questions. Decide if youre actually comfortable on this path, with her.
     
  3. the_rebirth

    the_rebirth embrace

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2001
    Messages:
    663
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    East Coast
    In an ideal world, I would be with her.
    If I was the richest man on the earth, I would be with her.
    Yes, I love her.
    I'm unsure if I could be solid future with her. Recently my hopes have been higher, but I don't know about the long run.
    I feel like deep down she could be a good contributing partner, but there are only flashes.

    The thing that really aggrivated me was that she brought this up when distance is between us. When we spend time together, she never talks about rings or anything like this because she is so happy.

    I'm a senior, and only have 2 months left being two hours away from her. I don't understand why she couldn't wait a day and talk about this in person. And the fact that she demanded that I get it, or she wouldn't talk to me anymore really hurt.

    I feel like this could be the end, and i'm standing on shakey ground as to where I stand. I've literally shown this girl more love and effort then anyone or anything in my life. And she seemingly refuses to recognize it when things like this come up. :hs:
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I think you should quit with her.

    Main reason is because i don't believe in lightswitch relationships, where things are turned on of on off every single time. Not healthy for you or her.

    More off all, she is not stable enough to be in a relationship. Anyone going thru horrible times like she (and maby you too) is going , means that you shouldn't add additional pressure on this already fragile piece of mind set. She clearly needs specialist help that you cannot give her, and you need a stable person to share a relationship with, she obviously cannot offer that. That's why i encourage you to move on and date someone else. I will not deny the underlying difficulty of that, but in the end in my opinion this would be the best for both of you.

    She gets her treatment, you get to move on with your life as well.
     
  5. I think you've made the right decision.
     
  6. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2002
    Messages:
    1,941
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iron City
    This girl has some major luggage. Don't commit yourself to anything.

    [​IMG]
     
  7. AQT4u2NV

    AQT4u2NV Guest

    From a girl's point of view, don't fall into it. She obviously has some insecurity and other issues. SHE needs to work those out before y'all can work together.
     

Share This Page