SRS i cant help but think ill never do better than her...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Chickenbum, Oct 19, 2007.

  1. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    Guys

    Its now been two months since my girlfriend broke up with me.

    At first i thought id be ok, staying positive. So far ive only talked to a small hand full of girls and havent had a sniff of anything that id be remotely attracted to.

    I now cant help but think that my ex gf WAS in fact out of my league, she was pretty, thin, smart and had a good personality. She was also very shallow and mean sometimes, but she did love me and i cant get passed that.


    I have run into the problem now that she has a new boyfriend and she is all healed, and moved on. I know what i need to do, i need to go out, and meet people and hook up.

    Problem is i live in a small town, the ex lived in a city 2 hours away. She has hundreds of friends, lots of things to do, i live in a small town, i have one work mate who doesnt like going out and apart from that i have no other mates.

    I cant help but wonder if this was the one that ill be talking about for years...ie "yeah i once went out with a super hot chick...etc" i dont want it to be but at the moment my social life is so stale that i dont know what to do.

    I hate to think that she was so much better than me but im almost starting to beleive it, i dont want to lower my standards, i definately dont want to get back with her, but i dont want someone who im gonna be wishing was something more....if you hear me.


    I know time will heal these wounds, but at the moment the wounds are still quite deep and dont show any signs of healing soon.
     
  2. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    u just hafta wait it out man ul get it there however long it takes is however long it takes you know
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    c'mon c'mon don't give me that, the fact that she moved on so easily only means she didn't cared in the first place, otherwhise she'd be broken hearted. Now don't be that guy that locks himself up in the closet crying over all the could and should have beens, putting yourself in the corner of damnation in how other people are supposedly better then you, so let me explain you something.

    You have to row with the paddles that God has given to you, you do what you can do in your life, and that's all you can do. Complaining how other people have bigger boats with more people on them, doesn't make your boat a better boat. Besides having a better boat doesn't make you a better person. The rule of life is this.

    You have to earn what you receive in life.

    You can improve your own boat, or life if you will to the extend of being a more loving and helping person, and becoming a wonderfull guy any girl would want to date.

    Don't wait in life for a wake up call, make the most of it, because you might not get a second chance.

    If you are in a rut and stuck with your life, you need to give it a swing in a new and positive direction by carving a new path with your own power.

    Do not expect leperchauns to appear and solve your issues, do not wait, be the dictator of your own life and take the situation in your own hands.

    There are only three directions in life, down where death lies, stay where you are and go in circles, or up where an improved life lies ahead, the first 2 are worthless and lead to nowhere, this is important because it means you can set the course of your life, to the only direction that is valuable ,namely upwards towards into progress. It doesn't matter from there on wether you win or lose in life, you simply keep on following the positive course, that way you can ALWAYS be confident no matter what happens, because you know that going for gold in your life is the only right way to live.

    If change was just a thought, then anyone could do it. But reality is that you can't just sit around feeling miserable for yourself and the situation you are in while being punched in the face by the reality of life. Those thoughts of change, can't become real if you just sit around feeling sorry for yourself, if you want to change then why would you stay in a state of paralyzation? If that happens it means you do not want to change, you are simply waiting for the world and people to change around you as you see fit, therefore

    Without walking, there's no way to move forward, you'll just end up waiting.
     
  4. 2500

    2500 Guest

    i think these kind of feelings is what kept me in my relationship. don't get me wrong, i love my bf, but part of me feels i'll never do better since hes so perfect even with the imperfections :hs:
     
  5. kit99bar

    kit99bar USPA Class 2, weak, old man!

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    I'm a horrible pessimist and don't trust women but she possibly had decided to break up with you a long time ago and had found a new guy before doing it.

    fuck her; you can do better.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Dude, it's been 2 fucking months. Calm down and take care of yourself because you have a lot of emotional issues. Stop worrying about trying to fill the void with other women, no women want a crushed man.
     
  7. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    thanks guys, ill deal with it, you are all very correct in your own ways, thanks for your time, i love you all :)
     
  8. Spidey_C

    Spidey_C Play to win.

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    It doesn't help. During the moment, it helps you forget, but then there are times that they pop in your mind when you're around the other female. The issues he needs to contend with have to be faced by himself. It would be good if he had someone to speak to though. A good friend and some who is willing to listen is probably what he needs the most now.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Dude, not every woman has men begging to be with her or something when she becomes single. Whenever I have ended a hard relationship I always took time for myself. Filling the void with a one night stand can work, but this guy is not having any luck in that department, most likely because his issues are so damn apparent and he comes off almost sad to new women. He needs to work his shit out.
     
  10. Spidey_C

    Spidey_C Play to win.

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    We know it's tough dude. I was in the same situation, where all you can sometimes think about is the girl. You really do feel like you're going to go utterly insane. I'm better now than I was 4 months back, but those feelings to reappear and can start to eat away at you if you focus too much on them. Hang in there, man.
     
  11. Dysfnctnl85

    Dysfnctnl85 IT/Apple/Rotary/(D)SLR Crew

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    The best thing that has happened to me in the last 2 months of a very similar situation was growing my relationships with some of my girl friends.

    IMHYUEO (in my humble yet uneducated opinion) this is THE BEST thing you can do. Hehe.
     
  12. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Sounds like you need to grow up and realize there is a lot more to a relationship than just looks. So what if she was really hot? Do you think it's ok for a woman to treat you badly just because she's good looking? Looks will fade when you get older, a successful relationship is not built on looks. I'm not saying you should date someone who is ugly or who you aren't attracted to but worrying that you may not find someone else as hot is just silly.

    It also sounds like you are living in denial about what the relationship was really like. You are focusing on all the good stuff when you really need to be looking at the bad stuff and thinking about how you don't want to be with someone who doesn't treat you right. Maybe you need to do something like sit down and list all of her bad qualities/the negatives about the relationship so you can see that the relationship wasn't as great as you thought it was.
     
  13. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I'm a woman and I understand that :dunno: One of my favorite sayings is "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" :mamoru: It's so true. You definitely shouldn't jump into another relationship but dating casually is a great way to feel better and move on. It helps you see that the person wasn't as great as you thought they were and that there are always more fish in the sea.
     
  14. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    . It's only been 2 months. Time will heal the wounds. It can take awhile for those wounds to heal. I know a friend who hurt for a year until she found some and was able to love again. Just trying going out to meet people. Busy yourself with hobbies and other things. You have to get over this and just look forward. :)
     
  15. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    thats the thing....she already has, i have had no luck at all....thus she won, i lost
     
  16. Dysfnctnl85

    Dysfnctnl85 IT/Apple/Rotary/(D)SLR Crew

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    She didn't "win" anything because she didn't win you.
     
  17. daxtrader

    daxtrader New Member

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    I love reading your posts. Please tell me more about yourself? :wavey:
     
  18. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

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    lol was your idea of breaking up a "game"?:ugh:

    put your ego in check.
     
  19. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    you know what i mean, she came out on top...she has a new guy, she is happy, all is going her way...
     
  20. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Its you who makes you happy, stop looking at other people's lives , in that time you could have made your own life happier by taking some action. Whining on how good someone is leading their life isn't going to make your life any better now is it? The grass is always greener at someone elses place, that's not the point , its about taking action to make the grass green in YOUR yard that counts.

    Moderators need to remain mysterious people for mysterious reasons. :coold: besides i don't want to hijack the thread.:hyper:
     
  21. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    i understand and agree 100%, its just she lives in the city where there is so much available to her, i live in a small town of 13,000 people, there isnt much female talent here that isnt taken by the local football players.

    I need to move to a city where i can "blossom"
     
  22. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    i had somewhat of a similar mindset back in the day, but I realized there is no point in having these type of negative thoughts. Don't compare how you're doing to how she's doing. And why do you feel the need to be already dating like she is? There's more to your life than dating right now no matter what your age especially when you come off a serious one. If you feel like you need a girl to help you get over your ex or make you happy, you need to find better things to do on your own time, things that will enrich your life.

    Girls in my opinion are the ones who need rebounds or new relationships to help them get over old ones, but you're a guy and you need to man up and not depend on them so much.
     
  23. mattz87

    mattz87 Active Member

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    You have things going for you man. Don't sit around and mope about this. There are plenty plenty of people at a greater disadvantage than you.
     

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