I can't get a girl out of my head...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Trickypants, Jan 26, 2005.

  1. Trickypants

    Trickypants OT Supporter

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    I constantly think about her...

    I know the old saying, "get over one girl by getting under another." It just doesn't work for me...cuz nobody else really 'interests' me. I mean, I could go and force myself to hookup with somebody, but how would that make me feel afterwards? Probably pretty cheap and mean towards that girl.

    Just don't know what to do at this point...
     
  2. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

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    no no no no NO!

    Jake =\ you NEVER try to get over a bad relationship by jumping into some girl's pants...that's self destructive.

    the only thing you need to be concentrating on right now is yourself. There are steps to recovering from heartbreak/depression.

    Step 1. Acceptance
    Accept the relationship you two had for what it was, not for what you WANTED it to be. (I'm a bit rusty on the story, so I"ll be broad here) Maybe you cared more for her than she did for you, maybe she wasn't ready for the comminment that you were, maybe she cheated on you because she's a bitch, whatever the case is, realize what your goals were, what her goals were, and accept it for what it was, not what you wanted it to be. When you accept that, you need to accept the fact that she isn't coming back to you...I know I know, you're thinking she might because of what she said last week...well she isn't, accept it. You can not be her friend, not if you want to sleep happily at night. being her friend is self destructive. You won't be able to sit next to her without wanting to put your arm around her. You won't be able to put your arm around her without wanting to hug her...you won't be able to hug her without wanting ot kiss her...every second you spend with her will eat you alive inside no matter how much you think you can deal with it...nobody can. Accept all that and move to:

    Step 2. Self sufficiency.
    Before you can have a/another relationship, you need to be self sufficient. If you aren't happy alone, you will never be truly happy with someone else. Your whole life can't revolve around a signifigant other...believe me, I've been there. You need to be your own person, and ok with being by yourself before you can start the process of having a partner in life. If you can do this, your next partner won't feel smotherd all the time, because if she wants personal time, you're cool with it, if she wants to be with you, you're cool with it. How do I do this you ask? work on yourself...if you don't have a job, get one, if you have a job, focus on it...I mean motherfuckin focus on it. If you're a fry cook at the krusty Krab, become the best fry cook there is, immerse yourself in your work, work as hard and as efficiently as you can. If you don't have a lot of hours, take up working out at the gym or a hobby around people. The last thing you need to be doing is sitting around at home alone with nothing better to do than think about her.

    If you follow steps one and two up there, you will be over your ex and in a state of mind where you are ok with yourself and you don't need anyone else to sustain you as a person. here's the kicker...once you have that, you will show it...you won't realize it, but that focus and drive you have for work will show in your personality, your self sufficiency will show in confidence in yourself. You know what'll happen then? You will be approached by a woman...Like fear, women can smell a guy with his shit together (well some can...others end up on sprionger) and when you get approached, don't think that she's the one, take it at her pace, take it one day at a time, and learn from your past mistakes...

    there you go, take it or leave it, it's helped hundreds already...let it help yous
     
  3. Heyhey

    Heyhey New Member

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    Is she an ex-gf? ans: Time usually helps and other friends and girls
     
  4. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

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    :werd: that totally kicked my suggestion's ass...take his instead...=P kidding
     
  5. Godspeed

    Godspeed New Member

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    :werd: awesome advice.
     
  6. Godspeed

    Godspeed New Member

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    jake, where do you live at in ATL?
     
  7. Trickypants

    Trickypants OT Supporter

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    In Roswell...north of the city.
     
  8. Trickypants

    Trickypants OT Supporter

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    Thanks everybody for your advice...

    mkevaldz, I agree that what I'm having trouble getting over is what I 'wanted', not what we had...it's definitely going to take some time.
     
  9. Godspeed

    Godspeed New Member

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    cool. i live in Kennesaw. it must something in the water or something cuz i just broke up a with a girl and i'm just now getting her out of my head. i see her every now and then and i feel bad for a bit but i definitely dont sweat it as much as before.
     
  10. Trickypants

    Trickypants OT Supporter

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    I guess I just hate the 'time' factor...I'm not a very patient person...:(
     
  11. Godspeed

    Godspeed New Member

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    me neither :(

    i understand where you're coming from though. I had a tough time getting over what i wanted to happen with me and her rather than what actually did happen. considering what happened, i shouldn't be too stressed but i really really cared for her and i even thought i could had loved her. she made me feel really good...


    oh well. it's her loss.
     
  12. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

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    honestly it's not really about time, it's about focus...the fact that it does take time is incidental...follow my advice, for your own well being.

    Yeah, the "what I wanted it to be" came to me after my first real relationship went to shit...it was a harsh realization for me, I sat myself down and thought long and hard about why I keep staying with her even though there was no future and the present was horrible...then it hit me...the past...what it uesd to be...that's what I was looking for, that's what was making me hang on...once I realized that, used it to get some closure...and I felt 9040238409238billion times better...acceptance...sounds silly like some AA step, but it works
     
  13. Trickypants

    Trickypants OT Supporter

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    It's very true...my big problem is my job is such a boring, stop/start type thing that there are hours in a day where I literally have nothing to do. I'm trying to start little projects here at work, focus on writing my standup comedy (though nothing really seems funny at the moment)...but it's tough sometimes. I'll be better, I know I will...thanks guys
     
  14. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

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    That's right, I've downloaded and listend to your routines, I enojyed them. I really want to try my hand at standup too, I went to a local place that does open mic night to scope it out, but the people there were a bunch of preppy assholes who couldn't possibly get my jokes...so I decided against that attempt.

    anyways, if you have a boring job, try to focus on getting a better one, or advencement in the boring job to a better position. Keep working on your comedy...relationship problems are something everyone has and knows on a personal level, use it in your act...

    "ever notice it's not until you've been dumped that you finally see all of the red flags you missed before? it's like "oh...I guess I shoulda known something was up when she couldn't cum unless I gagged her while whispering "tell your mother and i"ll fucking kill the both of you" while I fucked her..." that probably should have been addressed..."

    that's just something I came with off the top of my head...anyways, focus on your future =)
     
  15. Trickypants

    Trickypants OT Supporter

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    Thanks Mike...I agree and I'm trying to force thoughts of her out of my head, work on my standup (and my job) and I'm in therapy...:hs:

    Here's one that I wrote specifically about this situation:

    Have you ever had a girl use God in her breakup line? Like 'God just wants me somewhere else right now.' What can you say to that? Nothing...you've got nowhere to go. What are you gonna do, say you think GOD is wrong?? That's the ultimate trump card, isn't it? It's not you, it's not me...it's God, it's his (or her) fault.

    I'm so impressed by this brilliant bit of chicanery that I've started using it in my everyday life.

    "Jason, why'd you take six smoke breaks last hour?" "God wanted me to."

    "Jason, why'd you jerkoff in the hand soap?" "God wanted me to."

    "Jason, why'd you cum so quickly." "God...."

    Well, maybe that last one is a little over the line...but you get the idea.
     
  16. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

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    :rofl: Great stuff man...
     

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