SRS I can't complete things I start

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Deadhead9150, May 2, 2009.

  1. Deadhead9150

    Deadhead9150 Banned

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    I can't seem to complete anything I start. It doesn't matter what it is, I'll be really into it for a while, sometimes even a week working on it and just being immensely productive and then I just kinda stop and move on to something else. I've got so many things that are half finished, everything really, I can't even finish a video game. I have about 7 different video games left at like 80% or more complete but I just can't finish it. I've got tons of projects for work related things, or business ventures, or ideas, or anything that's half finished, 80% finished, whatever and I can never seem to finish something and see it through to the end.

    I've tried having lists for myself like writing a list of 15 or 20 things that I want to do in a day and then as I finish them check them off and then reward myself after I do all of them but even that, I stopped doing after a few days. I get ultra motivated and I start attacking a project like a crazy person and will get so much completed in so little time and then I'll just lose motivation and then stop doing it and then the next day/next week/ whenever, I'll get motivated to do something else and so I'll leave that last thing just up in the air.

    Here's an example, when I saw a junior in high school I was really excited about starting my own business. In fact, I knew what I was going to do, had all of the paperwork I needed, had gotten in contact with a manufacturer to produce products, and had begun looking into getting government and other contracts (it was a medical supply company with a newly invented product) and I spent all this time and energy on this project and then I dropped it and then I haven't done anything with it since. I just started thinking back on all these projects that I've taken up but never finished and how all that time is just wasted because I don't follow through to the end.:hs: Fuck.
     
  2. Ivan

    Ivan New Member

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    I'm in the same boat. Starting September of last year, I was doing great studying towards a lab technician position, which isn't that hard, I was even enjoying it, but currently I'm in my home with my ass sitting on this chair doing nothing, wondering what kind of job I should be looking for until I can try again at working towards the lab stuff. Why? I suppose I am extremely lazy and get tired quickly of the routine, which is kind of sad and ironic seeing how a lot of people say I'm "gifted". Yeah, right. I feel very bad about it but at the same time I can't bring myself to solve it the obvious way: Finishing something.

    So I can't really give you any kind of advice. Just thought I would let you know you are not alone on this.
     
  3. Yossarian

    Yossarian OT Supporter

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    Yeah, you're definitely not alone on this. I've lost count on how many different obsessive hobbies I've had, but I know myself good enough to know not to get too committed, the interest will soon fade. Any money spent will be money down the drain.
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I used to be like this and at times I still am. The thing I had to realize is that something like the last 10-15% of ANY project is the MOST difficult. Why? I'm not sure but that's been my experience for many years now.

    My lack of desire to finish task was due mainly to my drinking. I'd rather go drink than do the hard work required to finish a task. Once I started to address my drinking, I had more time to do other things.....once I started to accomplish things, I started to enjoy the feelings that come from accomplishing things.

    I would usually quit a project when it got difficult. However, I found that by pressing on...even when it was difficult to continue....very often it would become easy again. Very often I found that if I'd just hang in there it would get better.

    I also started asking myself different questions. When I started to feel the desire to quit a task, I'd ask myself different questions like "What is it that you're afraid of?" or "What is it about this other task that is more appealing to you than your current task?" or "What can I do differently to reignite my passion for this project?" Those are MUCH MORE empowering questions than "Why does this always happen to me?" or some other why question.

    I also discovered a funny thing....sometimes it's really OK to quit a task. Why? Because it's just not a good path for me at that time. I recently took up flying lessons. I was having a blast and learning a lot and really fired up for the whole process. Then all of a sudden, I wasn't that into it anymore....why? Because of the money it was costing me and all the other things I could do with that money. I just didn't want to invest that kind of money into that activity anymore. Well that and learning all the regulations began to take the fun out of flying....So it was OK to quit and move on to something else.

    I can't tell you how many times I just kept on with a project or activity simply because I did NOT want to give up. I was determined to finish the activity no matter what....and fuck anyone that got in my way. I have accomplished many things in my life simply because I REFUSED to give up and/or move on. Once you realize that you want to give up, just keep putting that off till the next day then go to work today. Keep doing this and you'll look up and things will start to get done. It's difficult to develop the skill but not impossible....just treat it like a game.

    I don't see this trait of mine as being a bad thing. Moving from task to task is actually just embracing change. I love change....in fact, it's part of what makes me who I am today. It's part of the reason I love working in IT....because it's constantly changing.
     
  5. Deadhead9150

    Deadhead9150 Banned

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    Well, I read this and when I saw the what is it you're afraid of I knew immediately the answer. Failure. Being the textbook definition of a perfectionist, I constantly disappoint because excellent isn't good enough for me.:hs: I guess I figure it's better to be uncompleted than to finish and be painfully disappointed with the result.
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Don't be so quick with that....I've found that fear of success can co-exist with fear of failure. Yep I've found that I can be scared of both success AND failure at the same time! It's kind of fucked up....however, the thing about fear is just to realize that nothing has happened yet and to take action regardless.

    Most people think that courage is the absence of fear. However, that doesn't seem to bear any resemblance to reality. Most people have fear. IMO courage is the ability to take action in spite of fear's presence.
     
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Something else just occurred to me. You sound like me where if you are not the best at something, you are automatically the worst. There are no in-betweens.

    Now if that describes you, welcome to the club and I've found that I've had to battle this for many years. Sometimes I really have to remind myself that the idea is silly....Most times I simply can't be the best at something and most times I'm not the worst. The trick for me is to realize that reality lies somewhere in between and simply press on.

    Sometimes I have to tell my mind to shut the fuck up and just keep taking action.
     
  8. Deadhead9150

    Deadhead9150 Banned

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    Pretty much. There is no such thing as 2nd best. It's 100% or it's just another word for fail.
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You have to apply the rule: Finish what you start.

    It all boils down to that you aren't strict enough with yourself, if you aren't doing it, it means you aren't putting enough pressure on yourself to complete the thing that you started.

    Discipline is an art.

    You have to be hungry to complete things, the problem boils down to this. Your body constantly says: no no i don't want to do it. And its up to you to say, doing nothing results in nothing so i have to push forward and be strict with myself and say "im not allowed to leave this project until its done".

    Finish what you start. It comes down to that you shouldn't do what is most comfortable, but make choices that are best for you, not the most convienent choices. But indeed the best choice which means that you need to finish what you start. And doing what is important vs doing what is nice.

    Its all in the head and avoid messing up the reward-punishment zones in the brain. If you reward yourself with being lazy, then your body constantly wants to be lazy as a reward, you should punish yourself for being lazy and having things incomplete and re-condition your body into doing that what is right.
     
  10. Clancer

    Clancer New Member

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    Im like that too. There have been so many random hobbies Ive started and never gone back to, but looking back Im happy with that cause I feel so much more diversified and open minded about things. So far I have taught myself how to complete a Rubiks cube, read a fairly large amount of Japanese, track/write music on 8-bit video systems using the original hardware as well as use modern music trackers/sequencers, etc.

    It just makes me feel good to know that I have the potential to understand and do anything I am presented with, but actually being able to put everything I have into something is another story. There are so many things I think about doing in my life, but like others I just either loose interest, dont have time, or realize that there is realistically really no purpose in me continuing on with something. Or laziness just takes control.
     
  11. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Change this rule to something that bears closer resemblance to reality and you'll be on your way. Can't do it as it applies to you...then focus on others. Are they automatically the worst when they're not the best?

    Be objective...there are far more shades of grey than you're allowing.
     
  12. smithkl

    smithkl New Member

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    Read "The Dip" by Seth Godin, it talks about this exact thing. Remember quiting isn't always a bad thing, it's just bad to quit without a good reason.

    I have had issues with it as well, but I have gotten much better. What I did is absolutely commit myself to one project, not a particularly small or easy one either. I committed by telling people, so that if I ever thought about giving up or quiting I knew they would hassle me and call me a failure for it. After 9 months I completed the project in question exactly how I had dreamed it. I have since moved on, and even quit at some other things on the way. The difference is I had a reason for quitting them, I knew they had no chance to succeed or grow. I am now 3 months into my next deal, and I know this one ain't a quitter.
     

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