SRS i cant be happy alone, ever.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Chris Redfield, Feb 12, 2006.

  1. Chris Redfield

    Chris Redfield Paladin T6 Tank

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    Just found out my ex girlfriend has moved on and found some other guy, and although i hate her, i still feel jealous. she was on a lot of medication when we broke up and very unstable. Now i can't help but think that the reasons or as i like to call them, excuses, she gave me for leaving me were all figments of her imagination, because most of them involved me touching her, (her OCD's were really out of control) and im damned sure they touch each other. I think that the medication that I was so "influential" as she likes to say in her taking was one of the reasons she left me (she didnt really want to take it, but for some reason, never stopped) and now that the medication has had time to do is prescribed function, shes moved on and found someone else. Also she recently fucked over one of my travel plans and i'd just like to throw that in there as a complaint.


    and I can NOT be happy unless I find someone for myself, I've never been happy alone in my entire life. Nothing subsitutes the feeling I get from just having someone to cuddle with or talk to. I met a girl this weekend in the city, but my friend has been crushing on her for awhile but hasnt worked up the guts to say anything so I dont know what to do. what SHOULD i do?

    cliffs, hate my exgirlfriend and I wish she would vanish (and stop screwing my life up) and i'm not sure if i should steal this girl from under my buddie's nose
     
  2. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Well you don't have to be alone, and you probably won't be much longer. As for the new girl. I come from the "bros before hoes" schoool, so I don't think you should endanger your friendship for a girl. But, you can talk to him about it, explain to him how you can't be alone, etc. and if he'll let you have a shot at her. Who knows maybe he's nice enough to let you, but then again if you got with her he might get jealous/pissed eventually anyway. It's either your friend or her I guess. But the worst thing you could do is try taking her without saying anything to him. If you really don't care about havijng him as a friend, maybe you will :hs:
     
  3. Chris Redfield

    Chris Redfield Paladin T6 Tank

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    well he is sort of unlikely to make a move, and also he has been gay in the past but isnt now (weird, but i guess that just makes him bi or whatever :dunno: ) and was thinking of asking her out. so im not sure if hes just talk or not
     
  4. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    I would work on yourself being a happy person before spreading that disease of depression with someone new.
     
  5. Chris Redfield

    Chris Redfield Paladin T6 Tank

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    i dont work like that, it seems like my depression is only a bi-product of my loneliness.

    and promiscuity doesnt work so well for me, I need serious relationships :sad2:
     
  6. erobbins

    erobbins Active Member

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    I dunno about that, I think if you can't be happy alone then there's something about yourself that you're not comfortable with/don't like/whatever..
     
  7. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    As sucky as it is, you are not likely to have much "luck" in a relationship, until you can learn to be happy alone.

    I think it'd be wise to start giving yourself some of the attentive energy you'd typically be focusing on some other person right now.
     
  8. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    What other people have posted is true - you need to learn to love yourself before you can truly love someone else for who they are. If you keep looking to other people to make up what you lack inside, you'll be perpetually disappointed because they are not perfect and because you have no control over them. You can't change other people; only yourself. :hs:
     
  9. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Holy Being Alone Batman...I was boohooing there for awhile about being alone, but thanks to the miracles of modern medication and insight, I realized it is not that bad. I get to drink out of the milk carton, don't have to wait for the bathroom (and the seat is always down), I have a bed to myself, don't have to listen to someone snoring, can leave my toothbrush on the side of the sink, let my dishes pile up, come and go as I please and don't have to answer to anyone but myself. There is a lot to be said for being alone (but not lonely) it gives one time to reflect and introspect. I am slowly coming to terms with it and boing (another light bulb turned on) and I says to myself: "Self, it's not that bad, actually it's pretty cool and why should I need someone to validate my life?" "Why do I need/require someone to make me happy when I can make me happy?" Jaysus Murphy, it was a hard lesson to learn. You have to learn how to make your very ownself happy before you can think about other stuff. Take this an opportunity to play some Zep really loud and dance around the house naked---have a party for one. It may sound like I am on my soapbox again, but, I have to tell you, you gotta be happy with yourself first....
    Took me this past year to come to the aforementioned conclusions.
    I hope it takes you less.
     
  10. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    You have to find true happiness within yourself before you can ever make another person happy.
     
  11. Chris Redfield

    Chris Redfield Paladin T6 Tank

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    i think i define myself through other people :wtc:

    im like 100 percent through the looking glass
     
  12. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    You are not alone in that kind of behavior. I admit being "guilty" of that myself on all too frequent ocassions. It's not an easy thing to get out of. TIME, pretty much, and effort, lots of both.
     
  13. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    You won't know what you're worth til you see yourself for who you really are. Start relying on yourself. It sounds funny, but take yourself out on "dates" - think of some things you like, then go do them. Go on a hike, experiment with a camera, learn a new language... the possibilities are endless. Comparing yourself to other people isn't bad in and of itself, but setting standards for yourself by other peoples' benchmarks is. Don't do that.
     
  14. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Living alone is the best man. Come and go as you please. Don't have to clean up after anyone, nobody touches your shit. Stay up as late as you want, dress however you want to or don't dress at all. Play the music you like, as loud as you want. Watch the programs you want to watch. Be as lazy or as busy as you want to be.

    You're in control. Choose who comes to your place and have them stay as long as you want.

    Defining yourself by the opinion of other people is among the most non-productive things you can do. Get your life in shape so you become desirable to the next woman you meet.
     
  15. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Well then you better get used to being alone because chicks don't wanna be with a guy who can't even be happy by himself. You will just come off as incredibly desperate to every girl you meet. You might wanna go see a doctor because not being happy alone is not normal. What everyone else said is true, you can't be happy in a relationship if you are not happy alone.
     
  16. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    While I agree with you to a point, people weren't meant to be happy alone. It's normal to want a companion in life. I'm not saying the original guy's normal by being so needy, but to an extent you need other people in your life.

    Back on track to the original post, you need to just let it go. No matter what the conditions were (blame the OCD or whatever), bottom line was that she didn't like you anymore and moved on. You need to accept that fact and get on with your life instead of feeling hatred towards her. It sounds harsh, but the sooner to come to terms with this, the better off you will be. :hs:
     
  17. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Says who?
     
  18. SICK GUY

    SICK GUY 69, DUDE!!

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    it sort of sounds as if you like taking care of your ex more than actually being with her. does that make sense? maybe her weakness' made you feel better about yourself, subconsiously? if im wrong, i mean no offense by it.:)

    anyway, sometimes you just have no choice but to move on. in the end, is it really worth wanting someone that doesnt want you? your fear of being alone is all in your head. if tell yourself that you fear being alone over and over, over time you will convince yourself that its true. alot of people assume that since they are a certain way, thats how they will always be. i think thats lame. people can change, and if youre affraid of being alone, force yourself to change that part about yourself. stay single for awhile, do what you want for a bit, and maybe you will discover things you didnt know you had in you.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2006

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