I can think of 300 reasons...

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by Isaac, Mar 26, 2007.

  1. Isaac

    Isaac New Member

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    Since there's already a 300 thread for people who haven't seen it or still want to see it, I'm starting one for the people like me who have and those wondering if it's worth it. I'll preface this by saying I was really looking forward to this movie. I love badass fight movies. I own Gladiator and Fight Club because of it.

    But, if you value your pride, you may want to spare your wallet the indignity of forfeiting $8 to watch 300.

    I don't know what was scarier: The hunchback sex scene, or the freedom with which the script writer wielded his cliches.

    The amount of lines you could predict is startling. The visual effects are far from that. It all conspired as a brilliant educational video on what happens when hackneyed lines and five year old special effects masquerade as moving filmmaking.

    "Tonight we dine in hell!" was a great line - one of maybe five lines in the entire movie not stolen from Braveheart, Gladiator, or anywhere in between. The only problem is that it was only half of the line. The other half before it is "enjoy your breakfast because.." And nobody was eating breakfast, the Spartans were in the middle of nowhere, and nobody was carrying food in their leather underpants or inside their capes.

    Unfortunately, the three fight scenes preceding it also had nearly identical screamed one-liners from the king just before they raced toward the green screen, and all of those lines could have been written by a ninth grader - a ninth grader who gets made fun of a lot for being mentally handicapped.

    This movie actually stole from the War on Terror's official playbook, recycling dramatic gem lines like "Freedom isn't free", and "never surrender", the latter mantra being pounded into your head dozens of times during the movie, just in case you were asleep.

    As I was leaving the theater, I remarked to my girlfriend that it was like somebody gave the script for Gladiator to a class of high school freshmen and told them to rewrite it in ancient Greece.

    Most of the fight scenes served only to extend the run time of the movie and relied heavily on an over-stylized cadence of stop motion, slow motion, then regular speed, over and over again, perhaps to cover up for the fact that in each scene there were only at most 20 actors and tens of thousands of CGI backdrop characters.

    Every scene you see is filmed on some sort of sound stage with screened backdrops. Those scenes on camera must have been so green it'd be like walking into a rain forest. Kudos to the actors for pretending they were so worried in the face of a million fake Persians. Then again, all they had to do to be worried was read the script.

    On the plus side, there were dozens of naked chicks, (and for the ladies) the majority of the budget appeared to be blown on finding actors with abs of steel, and the first sex scene was cut straight out of a porno and mistakenly thrown into a movie about death and violence. Note to the director: If you find yourself coaching the king's grimace as he rotates his body into the doggie style position, it's not a historical action/drama anymore.

    I only wish I had 300 thumbs to turn down for this movie. Then I'd only be a few hundred short of a fair review.
     
  2. yoV6cam

    yoV6cam Big AL "Boss of The Bosses"

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    so you're saying this movie wasn't realistic enough?
     
  3. armond

    armond New Member

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    Funny, I understand all your points. But since when was this supposed to be some sort of new idea on HOW to make an action movie? You have to assume there would be some lines about not surrendering and never giving up. What did you expect?

    So you can sit there and say that the fight scenes weren't worth it? And that slowing it down didn't actually make the scenes a bit more interesting? I have to say it made me see things I probably wouldn't have seen had they not have slowed it down. Also the lines before every battle are probably pretty common in any battle where those who survive the initial assault are preparing for another. Who knows when one will die?

    No, they did not go out and find actors with abs of steel, if I recall they actually had to get into some sort of shape. I am sure the making of it is somewhere out there.

    Food? Are you worried about the authenticity of everything? Simply put, the Spartans weren't the only ones out there. What they did not show(which I am not saying is bad) are the troops from the other provinces. This was a movie about the frontline, not the rear where the wagons of food with the labor animals that pulled them were held.

    This was a spin on a historical event, which was based on a graphic novel. What did you expect?

    But I am just stating opposition to your views, not because I can't see/understand what you are saying/writing, but because this can go both ways.
     
  4. Isaac

    Isaac New Member

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    It wasn't. I just wanted it to be passably good, instead of so poor that for the second time in my entire life I considered walking out of it. This was practically a documentary on how not to make a movie.

    Of course there would be. They just wouldn't be the same damn thing you've heard 100 times. Gladiator worked on the same things, and I consider that movie to be a historical action/drama masterpiece because they actually cared about the words coming out of the actors' mouths.

    The scenes were ok but the effects were so passe that this movie did nothing for me. I'm not some techno nerd, so I don't really give a fuck about the effects, but every damn scene was obviously in a 50x50' green screen studio.

    Oh, well in that case the acting was spectacular.

    I'll note Gladiator again in explaining how to show a battle movie. They got the little things right. 300 got nothing right, at all. Their prop budget was probably less than $10,000.

    That it wouldn't stay so faithful to something never written for the screen that it would ruin a movie that was written for the screen.

    If they had adulterated the original comic book to punch up the dialogue beyond grade school level (after all, it's a 17+ movie) and to draw out some of the more expository scenes instead of adding in filler battle scenes to extend the runtime, it could have been a great classic movie for millions of viewers, while risking pissing off maybe a hundred thousand nerds in the process.
     
  5. Zeromancer

    Zeromancer Pampita's Love Slave

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    It's not made to be educational. It's a mindless action movie with blood, guts, gore, and nekkid chicks in it.
    :bowdown:
     
  6. Grouch

    Grouch Guest

    Neat! Two movies totally unrelated to 300. :ugh:

    If you value your manhood you will see it.

    Oh you mean the lines like? “Then we will fight in the shade” “Come take them” “Tonight we dine in hell” Those one? Sorry kiddo but those are actual lines from the real history of the events. :slap:

    Really which ones?

    Far from what? Startling? Were they supposed to be? I thought the visual effects were done in order to create the exact same environment as the comics? They did that perfectly.

    Read a history book dipshit. :ugh: You’re failing so far.

    Which lines were stolen and exactly from where? Ohh wait you’re just a dumbass tool trying to sound like he knows a thing or two.

    That is your complaint. :Ugh: That we didn’t see them with backpacks and MRE’s

    reminds me of Gladiartor, LOTR, and Braveheart. :rofl:

    :ugh: you mean those lines and shit in the comic book made in 1998 stole those lines from an nonexistent war. How fucking stupid are you?

    I was waiting for something like this. Thanks. The source material for the movie came out well before ( almost 2 years) Gladiator (which was about the Romans not the Greeks btw :slap: and was written by a very good and very highly respected comic artist and writer. Themoreyoukonw.jpg

    I bet you loved Matrix though. Lol Actually numbnuts, there were 3 fight scence because there were 3 days of fighting in the actual war, and in the movie seen on screen. Your ignorance is working overtime.

    What the fuck kind of film criticism is this? Holy fuck you’re trolling right? You’re not this stupid are you? You complain that it used green screen…well it would be impossible to make this movie otherwise. Then you complain that the acting was good despite the hardships of using a green screen then you attribute it to just reading lines? Jesus H Christ. Just give up already.

    Yeah you’re a trolling faggot. :slap:

    you would then be a faggot and an idiot with 300 thumbs. Perfect for the army of Xerxes.
     
  7. Grouch

    Grouch Guest

    I want to know what film school this faggot goes too and see some examples of his work. :rolf:
     
  8. Isaac

    Isaac New Member

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    No way. If that's what you think, then you saw a totally different movie than 300. It was a costume drama about the struggle of the senate vs. subversive traitors.
     
  9. Isaac

    Isaac New Member

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    You started your educational missive by making angry jabs, progressed to personal insults, then ended by lobbing random slurs, concluding by calling me a troll.

    Thanks for inviting me back to the internet kindergarten lunchroom, but I'm doing alright at the big people table.
     
  10. Grouch

    Grouch Guest


    I'm disappointed. You failed to reply to anything. :rofl:

    Does it hurt to be so ignorant and wrong?
     
  11. Grouch

    Grouch Guest

    Was that supposd to be funny? That was 1000000x worse than anything in 300.
     
  12. Grouch

    Grouch Guest

    so you had no idea this was based on both a comic book and a real 2500 year old historical text did you.
     
  13. Isaac

    Isaac New Member

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    Well, I mentioned that in my initial post, so yes I did. It's also called historical fiction - it takes some liberties with what actually happened. That has nothing to do with me not liking the flim, but you don't understand how that works.
     
  14. Grouch

    Grouch Guest

    I've commented on the things you didnt like. And I showed how you were wrong and or stupid. Are you going to defend statements or just contiue with your fingers in your ears and hands over your eyes?
     
  15. Zeromancer

    Zeromancer Pampita's Love Slave

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    Nope I saw a kick ass entertaining movie with an awesome soundtrack with awesome fight scenes. Blood, guts, gore, boobies all work for me
    Go troll somewhere else asshat :booty:
     
  16. SS109

    SS109 3100 FPS OT Supporter

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    300 men die, not because of the Persians but because of traitors in both their goverment and their citizens.
    Sounds like Vietnam to me.

    300 is abhorred by the coastal clans because they could never imagine dying for their nation
     
  17. Isaac

    Isaac New Member

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    You're going to have to explain what that means. Since my opinion differs from yours and the child, that means I'm stupid and/or homosexual.
     
  18. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    300 was actually a pretty spot on recreation of the battle for Thermopylae back in ancient Greece. Not to mention it was a very entertaining action movie. Take it for what its worth. Its a good movie in my opinion.
     
  19. Isaac

    Isaac New Member

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    I'm going to help you out.

    How so? They're movies about fighting that managed brilliant dialogue. That was my point. One is even set in ancient rome. How fucking closer does it get? Spartacus? Alexander? Troy? They were all better than this movie. Better written, acted, and directed.



    I mentioned that a handful of lines were original. If you didn't figure it out from the historical accuracy of the lines you mentioned, those were them.

    I'll note that at this point you started contradicting your implied superiority, and started seeming like a total jackass. I'll continue.

    That doesn't mean they were well done. Many of this film's defenders have immediately leapt to the idea that since it was "faithful to the book" it was somehow a good movie. That's not the case. Overzealous color correction just makes the film look odd to non-comic book nerds, which, in case you didn't realize, were most of the audience.

    So, based on the opinion of a jackass who infuriated himself on my behalf, I'm failing at history. Well done, comic book dork.

    and you're a comic book nerd whose love of some pathetic childrens' literature he never grew out of finally bore him the intellectual fruit with which to smite his inferiors.

    Yeah, that's it right there. Forget the dozens of other valid points I took the time to delineate in concise detail. Blind yourself with your own incredulity over my example of how the lines sucked. Better yet, send yourself into a rage over the mere semantics of it alone. My point was the line was delivered in a lame point in the movie. It was to help you understand how poorly put together the movie was.


    Again you're trying to make it seem like your love of a pathetic comic book somehow deigns you capable of calling me stupid for disliking it. It's not my fault you love it.

    A highly respected comic book writer? Oh, well that makes the movie better just by itself. And in Gladiator where they used the words 'Rome' and 'Romans' dozens of times, that meant it was set in Rome? Damn man you're really making yourself feel good for educating me over simple points like this.

    Wow, you know exactly how many fight scenes were in the pathetic comic book you're still defending? Damn, I feel so bad for not being some fat, pock faced nerd with an inferiority complex he's transferred onto the honor of a comic book written 9 years ago.

    So you're saying it was impossible to make the movie because Sparta isn't exactly the same as 2,000 years ago? They couldn't rent the exact plot of land where it happened? Wow, no way! So where did they get the video footage to superimpose on the green screens, you fucking moron? The Gods?

    I didn't say the acting was good. I don't know where you got that from. Read it again, then try to pick apart some semantics. I'll recommend using the words "butt pirate" or "ass licker" this time to really show off your erudite character.

    Have fun working at your comic book store/computer job/restaurant. But I'm sure it's not nearly as fulfilling as wishing you were superior to a guy who's so maddeningly ignorant that he's never even read the same comic books as you.

    Or you can tear this all to pieces with another petty slew of "faggot" "idiot" and dozens of other names you use to hide the fact that you're insecure, scared of confrontation, and worry that maybe your life really isn't worth much beyond cyberspace. The speed with which my comments have met replies is all the evidence I need for this, but you've done me a favor and provided the rest yourself.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2007
  20. yawgmoth

    yawgmoth nine > ten OT Supporter

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    So.....you didn't like the movie? :ugh:
     
  21. Grouch

    Grouch Guest

    :rofl:

    How fucking close does it get? Are you stupid? 300 isn’t meant to compete with any of those moves numbnuts. And btw rome was a good bit different than Greece. :slap: but I wouldn’t expect a failed film school faggot to know any history.

    No you didn’t you ignorant lying sack of shit. Never once in your post do you mention anything like that. Stop fucking backpedaling. :slap:

    calling you a faggot contradicts nothing. In the words of another great movie. “I do not think that means what you think it means”

    They were done well. They were as technically perfect as a movie gets. And they captured the images a still comic and put them into motion flawlessly. Again you’re criticism of the movie is lackluster and juvenile at best.

    No, bases on a History Major you are failing at history. Congrats film fag.

    You’re not very good at this game. but calling the kettle black now are you douche bag. LOL holier than thou little bitch. You know we are all laughing at you. I have a funny feeling you loved LORT and Harry Potter too.

    I commented on everyone of your points and showed you how they were idiotic. Don’t think so highly of yourself.

    Well after I proved to you that the lines you disliked where historical. A point which again you did not make in your original post. Stop lying. And you’re opinion is bad, unfounded and well stupid. You’re wrong. Thanks for playing. But hey you’re a film school drop out trolling so its all in fun.

    Again you were proved to be an ignorant tool. It’s not my fault you’re stupid.

    Yes actually. He wrote Sin City too which I’m sure you’re familiar with. Just because your ignorant of it don’t mean it’s not true. But hey again nice job at failing, that takes special skill.

    I have to dumb it down for people as stupid as you.


    Good thing I look nothing like that. Want my myspace for prove too? Fucking queer. You’re failing so bad now you’re whole defense relies on ad hominem attacks I love it. Shit at least I actually commented on the content of your reply when I did it. :rolf: But hey I know some film school kids you might like they all look like those comic book kids you seem to hate. I’m sure you would fit in great.

    For a film school drop that is making such a strong criticism of this movie, especially the CG in it you sure seem to be totally ignorant of movie production.

    I didn't say the acting was good. I don't know where you got that from. Read it again, then try to pick apart some semantics. I'll recommend using the words "butt pirate" or "ass licker" this time to really show off your erudite character. The video footage used to superimpose on the green screens? Those come from a large bank of Apple computers. Grouch +1 Fucking idiot. I mean really what is your education in film? I would ask for a refund.

    I don’t know what that has to do with anything considering you must work in a movie theater selling popcorn.

    Oh god I love e-psychoanalysts! Fucking high school kids trying to save face and look smart at the same time. It’s always the last resort of a failed argument. :rolfbow: Listen kiddo your criticism was unfounded ignorant and fucking stupid. When confronted with why you ignored them and went on to back peddle and be a hypocrite. Not that I could expect anything less from some 17 year old virgin shit stain likes you. It was fun though, watching you run around like a chicken with it’s head cut of trying to make “super sweet” comebacks to impress all his other film school drop out friends.

    Seriously son, is this the best you got?
     
  22. Grouch

    Grouch Guest

    I want to know what film school this faggot goes too and see some examples of his work. :rofl:
     
  23. Maybe

    Maybe Maybe not Maybe fuck yourself

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    I thought 300 and Gladiator both sucked.

    Braveheart > that shit.
     
  24. Zeromancer

    Zeromancer Pampita's Love Slave

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    300> Braveheart > Gladiator
     
  25. apman0000

    apman0000 OT Supporter

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    Braveheart >>>>>>>>>>>>> Gladiator > 300

    Braveheart is so much better than gladiator and 300 it's hard to even have them on the same post, i liked all 3 movies and all 3 are worth watching for sure, but braveheart is so crazy good i don't have the vocabulary to express it

    if you're looking for emotion and deep plot with great direction and acting then 300 probably isn't the flick, but if you want to enjoy yourself and watch some visualy pleasing ass kicking then 300 is da movie. fuck they can't all be perfect it's a good movie and worth the $8 for a ticket
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2007

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