I am such an incredible asshole.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by antihero, Sep 27, 2008.

  1. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I really am such a shithead.

    My girlfriend has simply just become too much work for me. When I think about seeing her it just exhausts me. I feel so terrible. Shes so sweet and loving and generous and just in general a great girlfriend. Like she will want to cuddle on the train. Sounds like not a big deal right? Well having her head in my lap on leaning on my car-accident-jacked-up-shoulders is not comfortable. We spend *3.5* hours a day 5 days a week on the train.

    And its just sooo easy to hurt her. at this point I'd rather just stay away from her because im tired of the fighting and long talks and shitty nights. Even when shes in a good mood im just afraid of whats around the corner. Anything can start it, but a lot of times she will start asking questions that are like navigating a minefield to get through without causing a blow up. Obviously avoiding her makes her sad and angry and I end up causing the fight I was trying to avoid.

    last night I avoided her and hung out drinking with my friends all night. She finally came to see me at 1:00am on the train home. I basically begged her to go away. She spent her last cash on a hotdog for me, even though she knows id been ditching her all night. :wtc: I put it on the floor because id just eaten and hate hot dogs and it smelled gross. So basically she argued with me for like half an hour to just sit next to me and I just made her go away. so i tried to sleep for an hour while she just bawled across the isle. Then I left her without any cash at the train station at 3 in the morning while I walked home.

    today she is burying someone she loves and trying to do something for her moms birthday. Her mom has always been incredible to me.

    There is definitely something wrong with me. I love her so much, but there just isnt any joy in this relationship for me. Its just more work and trouble then I can stand to the point where it doesn't even matter how good the good parts are.

    what in the world do I do I do now?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Dump her for her sake. Should've done it a long time ago when you were wishy washy about her but were committed to making it work.
     
  3. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    send her to me. ill take care of her ;)
     
  4. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    I agree with IWYWB. Just let her go. How old are you both? And I also thinks she needs to grow some sort of a spine. I used to do things like her, and buy things for my ex's even though I know I could use the money on better things, and even when they were jerks. I realized that I was being stupid and dumb and grew a backbone. But it takes being hurt from it and trial and error with relationships to learn that.
     
  5. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I think you have mommy issues bro.

    Time to man-up and stop thinking the world and everyone in it owes you something... News flash, you're not entitled to shit.

    It's pretty simple. You treat her like shit, obviously don't care about her as much as you think, you express her character as a mere annoyance in your life, and you prefer spending time with friends over her. That's all cool, just don't waste your time/her time anymore. In the mean-time, grow up.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I don't doubt that he cares about her greatly, but from how he used to write about her it was pretty obvious to me that they weren't right for one another, but then he got on this self righteous kick about having to make it work. Now it's just sad that he's basically dragged the relationship out for nothing really. He's still just not in love with her and she'll end up more hurt.
     
  7. Gorge

    Gorge Guest

    I'd personally dig a girl like that. Just tell her you need some space every so often, see how she handles it. If it goes over poorly, then end it?
     
  8. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    The thing is we really did have a long period where times where very good. Life just got a lot harder for both of us in the past few months with new jobs for both of us. She needs more from me then ever and I have less to give.

    I DID try to end it, but the very next day she got a phone call that someone she loved had weeks to live. I caved. :(


    Reading it, I don't think its clear that this was an all time low. I'm not saying anything has been perfect, but nothing like this has ever happened before.

    I'm asking in a very specific, what exactly do i do now? I don't really see how in a million years i could have timed this worse. i am so embarrassed. I was trying to hold it together long enough to get through this death at least.
     
  9. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    That re-enforces my point of his attitude of self-entitlement. If he's been acting in this manner and feeling this way for a while and continues to drag this out and continue to step on her feelings and not done anything about it; he obviously feels he deserves to be able to act in this manner... Just as he's developed some sort of personal justification for these actions in the past.

    We've all been there. I treated girls like this too... been mean, threw nice gestures they made back in their face, ditched them for friends, told them they were too needy and exhausting.... and even did this to one I cared about deeply as well. The difference is, I was 16-18 when I was doing that.
     
  10. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Apologize and be sweet to her for a week or so. It's a week, you can do it. Then, when the sting of the death is gone, break it off.
     
  11. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    This is not usual behavior. Typically I do what it takes to make her happy and even when we are not getting along my behavior has never been this bad ever before.
     
  12. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    I :rofl:'d at this in a :squint: kinda way.
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    sooooo f'ed up.
     
  14. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Perhaps you're becoming less and less inclined to put on a smiley face and deal with someone you don't particularly care about any longer. You think you still care about her, but you only care about how she makes you feel and what she does for you.... A pretty selfish perspective; but i've been there man.
     
  15. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Just had a hilarious mental picture of you sittin there head tipped back mouth open tryin to catch some zzzzz's with the hot dog on the floor and her across the aisle lookin at you crying.

    You have some big one's dude.
     
  16. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    No its actually the exact opposite of that. I care about how she feels but its getting harder and harder to go through the motions when being around her doesn't make me happy.
     
  17. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    wow. I feel really bad, but shes not even mad at me. Her moms car ran out of gas when she went to pick up my gf too.

    It is true that friday is supposed to be girlfriend free guys night out so on an ordinary friday she should have let me just have a no worries night with the guys, but I think this was kind of a special case and am still really disappointed in myself.
     
  18. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    .
     
  19. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    what the fuck is girlfriend free guys night out..

    you 17 or something?
     
  20. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I actually highly recommend it. Its made our lives a lot easier. Its a lot easier this way because we can both make plans with our friends and it just works out better since its planned it easier to not take personally. I mean i think every couple needs a little time apart. We spend the other 6 nights a week together. We also have a date night where I take her on a real date or do something nice for her.

    edit: and im 28
     
  21. fray

    fray New Member

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    you spend 3.5 hours a day on a train???
     
  22. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    you turned down a free hot dog?!?!? wtf, turn your man card in. Hot dogs are fucking good!
     
  23. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Throw some ketchup and relish on there. :bowdown:
     
  24. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    :werd: some onions and banana peppers too...

    he's from NY and they get real hotdogs up there, not the garbage they sell us in the soufff....fuck man....a free damn hotdog...
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Fixed.
     

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