SRS I am starting to fall for my co-worker... :hs:

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by newsroom_can, Dec 14, 2007.

  1. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    Basically if you are the Office fan, I am kinda in Jim/Pam situation. But here are more details.

    So I started my new job back in September of this year. It is a government job and I guess this my first "real" job that I got after I graduated from my college. (Although I previously had other jobs -including working in an office- before.)

    There were several other people who got hired at the same time as me. As we went though the training for the first few weeks together, we became closer. Couple of us ended up in a same team and we ended up sitting in a same area. We are also in a same age group. We've been getting along quite well so far and everyone is always being friendly and helpful to each other.

    Now there is this girl -my co-worker who started this job with me- who sits across from me at work. I think I am starting to fall for her. I don't know whether I just have a crush on her or not. But I just can't stop thinking about her and I am beginning to like her a lot. (Even when I am with my own GF, I can't stop thinking about her. I probably spend more time with my co-worker than my GF.)

    I am the kind of person who would say not to get involved with your co-workers. I've never dreamed of getting involved with any of my co-workers and I always try my best to keep my personal life and work life separate.

    At first, this girl was nothing more than a co-worker. When I first met her I thought, "She's cute but she's not my type." Really, it was nothing more than that.

    As we are in a same division, we spend a lot of time together. We have lunch together everyday. So far, we've been getting along very well. As I get to know more about her and get to know what she is like (and also things she likes to do), I am really beginning to like her. I know it's really cheesy to say but she is beginning to look really beautiful to me and I am thinking that she could very well be my ideal girl. Usually, I got involved with someone because of physical attraction... but this is bit different.

    She's always being nice to me and she brings me treats/snacks. But I know that this co-worker has a BF and that she doesn't like me in any other way. I try to keep telling myself that I am probably just her co-worker.

    I don't know what to do. On one hand, I really do care about the job and this job will be a great stepping stone for a good career and jobs. On the other hand, I like going to work because I know that she will be there and she always makes me smile. Even when I am stressed out at work, she makes me feel better.

    So what do I do? I know not to get involved with co-workers and this is probably just a one-sided love. But I just can't stop thinking about her and it's really driving me crazy. :hsd:
     
  2. dano

    dano OT Supporter

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    Ever consider that maybe she would just make a really great best friend? If there isn't a 24/7 craving to jump her bone, she might just be friend material for you.

    I ruined a great friendship by trying to make something more out of it with a girl when she was really just nothing more than a friend. We tried, it failed, and now we're nothing. I don't even know what she's up to nowadays.

    You've got lots to lose here:
    1) Your job
    2) Your girlfriend
    3) Her friendship, on any level

    Unless she approaches you about strong emotional feelings, I would just sit tight. Even if your girlfriend dumps you tomorrow, don't make a move. If she dumps her boyfriend tomorrow, don't make a move. Let her be the one. If there's really something between you guys that is more than friendship, she knows it as well.
     
  3. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    We've been good friends so far and I guess you might right that she could very well end up being one of my best friends. But at the same time, I am not quite sure if male and female can just remain as friends.
     
  4. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    Any other advice? Any female perspective?
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    the urge to think of her as your "ideal" girl would lessen if you had other choices, or were actively pursuing other choices.

    So since you already describe all the downsides of pursuing this girl (career, friendship, personal, etc etc) ....explain why you aren't actively pursuing other choices.

    And why you're taking the path of least resistance with someone who became attractive to you only after prolonged exposure.
     
  6. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    OP,

    who is in your AV?
     
  7. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    Sorry, I am not quite sure what you mean by this. What do you mean by other choices?
     
  8. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    Laetitia Casta
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Aren't there any other girls you can date? What's so special about this one?

    Let me rephrase, what's so special about this one, especially since it wasn't apparent until work flung you two together for an extended period of time.
     
  10. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    You'll understand when you're older.
     
  11. Titan King

    Titan King New Member

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    Just because she makes you FEEL, doesn't mean you love her. Just love her as a friend.
     
  12. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    Male and female can remain as just friends. There's nothing wrong with it. I actually have more male friends than female friends (i'm female).
    And most likely she just will be a great friend. Keep in mind you both have SOs. And you seem to have a blossoming friendship. Let it be, at least for now.
     
  13. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    I'm a guy and have a lot of female friends, with a girlfriend. Some of the girlfriends I have would be a steal, doesn't mean I'm tempted to be with them. I can't agree with you because you're sounding like a future cheat. Maybe you're not ready to be tied down too one girl or any girl. You might want to be honest with your gf about your feelings, or at least be honest with yourself...
     
  14. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    - She has a great personality and she is very kind and friendly
    - She seems to be smart
    - Very fashionable and she dresses quite well
    - Hard working, She also has this second job on the weekend. For some reasons, it really impressed me to see her working so hard even on the weekend.
    - Smells nice
    - Good smile
    - Likes to read real books, not just fashion/gossip magazines
     
  15. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    Oh and thanks for all your advice guys. :)
     
  16. newsroom_can

    newsroom_can Canada eh?

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    Maybe you are right that I might not be ready to be tied down to one girl now but I disagree that I would be a "future cheat." I have more honour than that and I would break it up with my current GF, if I were to get involved with someone else.

    I guess it's one of those things that even though I tried not to fall for my co-worker, I just can't help it.
     
  17. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    I can be harsh even when I don't like to be. I didn't really give you the benefit of the doubt. As long as you know your limits, I'd hate the see the girl you're with now hurt, but thats what all relationships come to eventually. If she's so special than who knows, love can blind you so watch out.
     

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