SRS I am so fucked in the head. Convo with my ex...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BaseballIsEmo, Dec 27, 2005.

  1. So here’s the deal. I met someone I cared deeply for. We dated for awhile. She got scared and we split, but we were still friends, cause I'm just a nice guy, and wanted what was best for her... she's a senior in HS, and has lots of goals and ambitions. She is commitment shy and has told me and other people anything she does with a guy before college means nothing to her. Meaning, she isn't interested in dating and is afraid of falling for someone and messing things up. Which I understood, agreed upon, and told her I'd wait for her, and we both agreed that was best - and we could probably see each other in college in the fall if everything goes well.

    Well, apparently, she just couldn't handle the waiting. She wanted to see me again. She wanted to be with me. We had amazing times, the best of times. Then, she backed off again. She ran, again. It hurt. But I was okay. As a friend, I told her I understood - and that all was okay. Well, it happened again - a few weeks later, she asked if I wanted to go see A Nightmare Before Christmas in Lexington at midnight with her, as a date. I was excited, but I told her this does not have to mean anything, and we can just go as friends - she didn't want that, she told me how much she thinks of me, how much she cares for me, and how much she likes me, and that she could trust me (meaning, I would never screw any of her future plans or goals up).

    That lasted a week. Our last date was Thursday. We watched King Kong. It seemed like a very fine night. She was happy when I dropped her off at her house (a 35 minute drive from my place). That night, I called her when I got home to let her know I was safe (she asked me to). She acted as if she didn't want to speak to me. I asked if anything was wrong or if I did something to upset her. She told me to just leave her alone. I was very confused and told her good night and that I'll talk to her the next day before I leave for my parents house. She said "bye".

    I emailed her Friday when a joyful, silly note, and letting her know I’d call when I got to my parents [a 2 hr drive]. I left early, figuring she would still be asleep. But I was wrong. She emailed me right back, saying “I'm sure you will be perfect for someone else. Yet again, I don't think this can go on any longer. It's for sure this time though, so just forget me. Nothing you can say or do can change my mind, so don't waste energy. Thanks for all the things you took me to do”

    I read it before I left. Made for a wonderful Christmas weekend. Right? Right.

    Well, I emailed her Sunday when I got home. Basically saying all is okay, again - and some other things.. And .. “If you don't feel anything with me, then that is absolutely fine. Great. Awesome. We no longer need to waste each others time. I knew I wasn't good enough for you from the beginning, but I held on, heh - cause I did feel something, and I did like the attention and the thought of knowing SOMEONE cared what was on my mind or how I felt at any random moment. Or, acted like it. Thank you.”

    Today, Tuesday … this conversation took place:

    Me: Hey. Having fun ignoring me? :)

    Her: Um, I don't really think about you at all...so it's not ignoring.

    Me: Good. But I did email you, that's what I was referring to. Hmm, are you mad at me for a reason? Do you not want to even talk to me? Like.. I don't know. I feel like I may have made you upset?

    Her: No, I'm not mad. No I don't want to talk to you. Besides talking to me now, you phase me none at all.

    Me: Why are you being so cold to me? That's great... no feelings. Wonderful. Awesome. You're over "nothing". But, still .. you don't even want to talk to me? Why? I liked talking to you about STUFF. Life. Other things. I am getting the vibe that you hate me, or ... am extremely annoyed with me. I'm just confused. I am and will not ever try for you again, because I know it's really not what you feel, or want at all now. I am cool with that. I am okay. But, you were the best person to talk to.

    Her: Don't flatter yourself, I don't care enough to hate you. You aren't that great of a conversationalist, and I don't see the point in talking to you.


    I know, I should horribly lame, and weak, and many other things. I am not very confident in myself, and she pretty much confirmed why with that last statement. I don't want pity, and I know - once I get into college in the spring or fall, things will get better, I'll meet other people ... but, I always think to myself, it'll all be the same, and end the same. I guess you just have to know me.

    I don't know why I am posting this. Who ever does? I know what I have to do, and I know what I should do. I am just letting this out, and well.. sharing my horrible experience. Enjoy. Hugs would be nice. :hs:
     
  2. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Holy Ice Box Batman! I'm sorry, but what she said to you was just COLD....Brrr.
    My feeling is that you are definitely better off without her...I know, I know...it's easy for me to say that...I am not the one here that is hurting and confused.
    There is nothing that I can say that will make you feel any better, except I can, and do, relate totally.
    We try to understand love and hate, but indifference is just unfathomable and the hardest thing to deal with. I'd rather have someone hate or love me than be indifferent and COLD.
    Hugs & Stuff your way.
     
  3. SpaMan

    SpaMan Mind over matter.

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    Sounds like she's insecure/typical crazy teenage girl. I dont think she meant to say she didnt care about you, least that's not what I read in that e-mail to you. She's kind of dogging on herself, least that's how it appears. (Perfect for 'someone else') And then you reply to her with accusations of her not caring about you - probably got HER on the defensive. So now you're both unsure of each other and both on the defensive it sounds. (Wild theory)

    Or she's just simply a cold-hearted person. :dunno: Do you know any of her friends or ex-bfs? I know you shouldnt judge someone by their past, but sometimes it can help.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    She's downright lying that she isn't interested in you. This girl is very easy to read once you realise she made a 'promise with herself, not to date guys until after college' She is extremly weak willed, which is the reason why she dated you anyway, after that she noticed her 'failure of not keeping up with her promise' she tried to put a 'blame' on you since you 'are' what is keeping her away from that promise.


    Just keep persuing her, bite and hold on like a pittbull for long time and she will give in. Even tho she is acting cold and all, its just a mask. She is weak and if you see thru her masquerade you'll be able to have a relationship with her if you only hold on. Go for it.
     
  5. Thanks for the hugs, advice and things, everyone.

    She is indeed very insecure, as am I. She has really no reason to be, though, IMO. She is beautiful, very intelligent, nothing in her way, or holding her back. She's very talented in painting and sewing. She is also in the BETA club, and an official. She has a scholarship to EKU and has all the plans and dreams - she is very motivated and when it comes to goals, very confident - but when it comes to "love", or human relations and feelings, she is gun shy, and scared, and not so confident.

    I do know a bit about her past, well - quite a bit, actually. Her parents divorced out of the blue. Her father left her, her brother, and his mom after 18 years of pure happiness and no big arguments. He left them for a rich woman. Her mom went into a total state of depression, and left her to pretty much look after her younger brother and take care of most things around the house - this was in 8th grade.

    All her own relationships have lasted a few weeks, if that. She said she was only in love once, and that guy treated her like complete scum.

    About the being cold and bitchy... well, yeah - she said she is the sweetest, nicest, caring person ever (very true), until something or someone annoys and bothers her to no end. She will completely flip on a person, and can be as cold as ice.

    I don’t think I will pursue her anymore. She did tell me she no longer felt any feelings for me when she kissed me (that’s what my email I sent to her was referring to). I would love to be her friend, and talk like we use to, but I am no longer a fan of putting up with being put down like I was today. I do it to myself enough, I don’t need someone else pitching in. She knows how to reach me if she wants to apologize and/or continue to be my friend.
     
  6. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    Its amazing how someone can just change with a flip of a switch..

    She was out with you going to see King Kong and tells you to call you to let her know you got home safe and then just BAM.. is totally cold and doesn't care to chat.. hangs up, you email her and she writes back right away that she wants nothing to do with you.. I agree with alot of the advice that Darketernal posted.. clearly shows whats going on here. So whats it gonna be?

    Play at her game or just forget her?

    I personally think its bad on her part to be playing you for a fool like this and you taking it so great and understanding.. and I think THATS what bothers her is that you take things easy for her.. you're willing to stop being official and then just go back to being friends.. just like a flip of the switch.

    She wonders to herself, "Why!! WHY!? is he being so flexable.. why doesn't he show more emotion of being UPSET that I'm ending things with him on how a real bf WOULD be..". AND then.. it hits her.. she decides she will ignore you completely and show that she is not weak but the truth is.. she IS. Give it some time, she'll evetually get in touch, you want to know how to make her MORE weak and show that you DON'T care? Ignore her completely.. and don't accept seeing her when she comes around..

    But who knows.. this might make her want you so much more now.. because, people hate what they can't have.
     
  7. :hug: :sadwavey: :wavey:

    Thanks. I think ignoring her is pretty much the best option. I'm set on moving on.
     
  8. She's not just scared, insensitive, or insecure. To me she sounds like a schizo!
     
  9. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    seriously dude, she's a crazy bitch. cut and run, don't waste time thinking about her.
     
  10. crashspeeder

    crashspeeder Interesting Title

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    server all ties...after you drive your ass back to her and slap her REALLY FUCKING HARD for being a bitch.

    EDIT: oh, and she's fucking another guy. that's the only reason i can figure for her being so schizo other than her actually being schizo
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    She lost interest and did what most guys wish, at least they wish so here: she told you in no uncertain terms that it's OVER.

    She doesn't seem particularly "schizo", nothing particularly strange really.
    She lost interest. You didn't. It's as simple as that.

    Neither you nor she is inherently a bad person. She's a little more mean about it (or kind, depending on how you look at it) in that she actually said that it's DONE, GOODBYE.

    And that might be considered kindness in a way, instead of just fading away and leaving you wondering if it could be on-again/off-again/on-again...

    The fact that she's already doing another guy confirms the pattern. People do things for a reason. The fact that you were unaware of her reasons...doesn't make her "schizo" or "psycho" or anything of the sort.

    Just let her go. Wipe her clean off your slate.
    She's done. You should be done too. Don't waste another second over her.
     
  12. :hsugh: :rly:

    Nothing would surprise me anymore. I no longer care, which is sad. I think I should care that I am treated like shit and all I am to people is nice and thoughtful, or atleast I try to be. I guess I don't feel like I am worth being treated well. Or, that's what I am use to. I don't know. I'm blabbering on. She said things again today. Oh well. Ignore. That's all I've gotta learn to do.

    :hsd:
     
  13. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You should ignore her NOW NOW NOW, while she still supposedly might have a few things left to say.

    Don't pander after her and let her dump a few choice last words on you.
    Cut it off right now. While you still can.

    It'll be better for you.
     
  14. Trying. Trying. Trying. Trying. :hs:
     

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