I am shy when it comes to hittin on girls-- HELP!!!!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by AngerRising, Sep 20, 2006.

  1. AngerRising

    AngerRising Guest

    Ever since me and my long term g/;f broke up about 7-9 months ago I have been so shy when it comes to hitting on girls. I consider myself a pretty good lookin guy (and so do others), I have great style, great smile and I'm cool as hell but I just choke when it comes to running game on girls. I am a good talker and all but I just seriously freeze up and can't follow through with approaching a hot girl and trying to work out getting her number. What should I do to overcome this? Please help thank you my friends and have a very great night. :)
     
  2. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    I remember one time I was on a subway at night, there was hardly anyone on the train...I got on and there was a hot girl, so I (waited like 2 mins) then looked at her made some eye contact, smiled. Then realized she ignored me. By then it was too late, so I asked, "So... Are you heading home?" But it was kinda loud so I repieted myself.... Then she gave me a weird look, and said "What?" I didn't feel like repeating again or figuring out if she understood... It was awkward riding in that train with her for next 30 minutes lol



    Do those things.
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Is this a recent shyness?
     
  4. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :rofl: :bowdown: :(
     
  5. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Stop trying to hit on women.
    Stop trying to get dates.
    Stop asking so many questions.
    Your goal should be to make female friends, and not become a wuss and start liking them.
    Your goal should be to focus on your own life and be the coolest and most fun guy you can be.
    Your goal should be to improve yourself in any way you can.

    The women will come to you. Stop chasing them.
     
  6. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Ahhh

    LISTEN TO THIS!!!!!
     
  7. blitz91

    blitz91 New Member

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    Dane Cook - "so are you walking to your car alone later?"
     
  8. Ronald McFondle

    Ronald McFondle Hey gook, just listen

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    practice
    and force yourself to initiate conversation
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    it's hard to find the balance between taking initiative and trying too hard.

    You'll know when you're trying too hard, because you'll feel awkward and unnatural. So yes, try to be more aggressive on approaches, but don't push it too much. If you cant get yourself to start initiating conversations, that's a good amount of progress. Pretty much once you start chatting with a girl, you'll know within the first few minutes whether you want to keep talking with her or not. The same will apply to her.

    The way I figure it is this: You know that naturally happy feeling you get when you and a girl are flirting, and it just happens? You don't really have to think about it, it flows on it's own. That's the feeling you want to try to get...so don't push too much, just work on starting conversations, and you'll be able to feel if you have a connection or not.

    Entirely possible that people will disagree with me though.
     
  10. AngerRising

    AngerRising Guest



    Dude this is the worst advice I have ever received, even if I completely stopped trying and girls approached me on a daily (or weekly) basis (which is rare for most men anyway) I would still be shorting myself by not going for what I'm interested in. If you really want anything in life you have to go for it, you don't get shit just sitting on the sidelines and waiting.

    Simple hypothetical situational proof:

    1. I don't make any moves whatsoever- 3 girls average come up to me a week

    2. 3 girls come up to me a week anyway, plus I make moves on other hot girls during the week thus increasing my chances (maybe 10 girls a week total as opposed to only the 3 who approached me)

    Can't be too hard to understand. :)
     
  11. AngerRising

    AngerRising Guest



    You make some great points and I completely understand, however my main problem is I am just too shy to actually start chatting it up with random girls, be it in school, bars, etc. So I would really like some advice on how to conquer this fear, maybe some things I can do to begin overcoming this. :)
     
  12. AngerRising

    AngerRising Guest



    Hmmm o0k,.,,...

    By the way Socrates posted, he sounded as if hitting on girls and whatnot is pointless and I should just sit around and do like he said, make friends with them bla bla bla, basically just let them come to me, he never said anything about making friends because I am too shy to hit on girls.....

    Did he mean to do that for now because I am shy, and to just do that till I get the confidence up, or did he really mean just seriously not even worry about hitting on girls and do nothing my whole life but let them come to me!?!?! Cause that is bad advice.
     
  13. AngerRising

    AngerRising Guest

    Oh and by the way, I think many have misunderstood me, I don't chase women, I was just wondering how to not be so shy around hott girls. :)
     
  14. Tefnuts

    Tefnuts New Member

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    THis one is easy... visit TuckerMax.com, read his stories and go to his advice board... but first read his stories because they are fucking hilarious and then u will know he is for real. Bottom line is the less u care about women the more you will get and you can stop caring if you get some genuine confidence in yourself first.
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    David D recommends going to the mall or another public place. When you get there, your mission is to make eye contact and say hello to every attractive woman that you see. That's it.

    Or you could say something like "I'm conducting an experiment in overcoming shyness, thank you for participating"

    Do this until you can easily start a conversation with a woman.

    If you are super shy and have problem starting conversations with people other than attractive women, then do this to everyone you see, not just the ladies.
     
  16. unexpected hero

    unexpected hero New Member

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    women love confidence, be the man and the ladies will love it.
     
  17. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Remember that hot women are just as insecure as you are, if not MORE. They are human beings, and many are not that cool anyway.

    How I did it? Treat all women like men. What would you do if she was a guy? Think about the girl on the train:

    You: Hey, what's up?
    Her: Ignores you.
    You: Hey, I'm kind of new to the area and want to know what's cool to do around here. You got any suggestions? Are there like any good clubs or social scene where I can meet people?
    Her: What?
    You: Hey, you really shouldn't sleep on the subway, you'll miss your stop! :big grin: (Note: SMILE, make eye contact!)
    Her: I'm not sleeping! I just couldn't hear you!
    You: That's a pretty lame excuse, I bet you tell all the guys that, huh?
    Her: (Laughs) Yeah, that's it! :)
    You: Hey, anyway, you seem pretty cool - what's fun to do around here, you DO know something COOL to do, right? You're not some recluse, are you? ;)
    Her: Hey! I know lots of cool things to do!
    You: So prove it already! What should I do to meet some cool new people? Do you own a club or something and can get me in free? Or how about do you have some friends who can get me in free?
    Her: Actually, I know a cool place on 4th and main and you might like it.
    You: Oh, what's it like? You go there? You know, right about now you should offer to meet me there and buy me a drink, don't you think?

    Etc.

    The point? Don't be serious. Treat her like a guy in terms of DON'T touch her. Don't lean close to her. Don't talk about sex, don't do any of that shit. Just get a conversation going. I love asking people if they know some cool place, because (1) most people do, and will talk to you and (2) if they don't then I probably wouldn't want to hang out with them!!! :lol:

    And if she blows you off, remember... excuses are women's test of how confident you are. Blow right through excuses. I typically will say "Oh come on, is that the best you can do to try and get rid of me? You really need to be a lot more creative. At least tell me your hair is on fire or something."

    DO take a hint from body language. If you're making her uncomfortable, back off.

    DO tell her you have a time contraint such as "Hey, I have to get off at the next stop, what's cool to do around here?" Then GET OFF and catch the next train. That way she knows you're only going to be there for 30 seconds. You can do the same in a bar by saying "Hey, I'm just waiting on some friends and then we're heading out, but you look like you might know some cool spots to go around here - yeah?"

    And remember, attractive women are typically MORE social and MORE used to being approached, so just do it and treat them like a normal human being.

    I like to think of her as "my bratty nine-year old little sister." This is a David DeAngelo technique. Don't let her get away with shit. Poke fun at her verbally, mentally, and be the "big brother" in your mind. Don't supplicate (do as she asks) such as buying her a drink - make HER buy YOU a drink.

    (NOTE: This was a HUGE starting help for me at bars. I used to buy women drinks, now I laugh when they mention it and tell them "I'm not a loser like all the other guys, and now YOU need to buy ME a drink for insulting me!" or something funny, fitting the moment, and make them laugh. I get lots of free drinks that way...)

    Confidence. You are in charge. They are just human. They're just a guy. They can tell you what's fun to do. Invite them along if you get a good vibe. Ask for their phone number (never give them yours) then wait 5-7 days to call them.

    And most of all, go find some guys who KNOW how to pick up on women and watch them, do what they do, and PRACTICE!!!

    Just like learning to ride a bike, when you fail there is a lesson. Think about this chick and why she wouldn't talk to you. Whatever you did was BAD, m'kay? Learn the bad (insecure, out of control, childish, rude, boring, predictable, just like every other guy, smelly, talking about cars, sex, computers, etc.)

    Just start small.
     
  18. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I didn't tell you to stop approaching women.

    I meant for you to stop hitting on them. Approach them all the time. As much as you can. Guys hit on girls, and as PocoDiablo explained, you don't want to treat this girl like a girl, but rather a guy.

    I hate even using the phrase "hitting on women." It is basically a synonym for "getting blown off by women."
     
  19. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Sign up for the contest.
     
  20. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Also, I disagree with 'treating her like a guy'. Personally, I LOVE to make women feel VERY feminine. The idea, however, is to make sure you are not intimidated by her being a girl (unfortunately, the best illustration is to treat her like one of your buddies).

    If you can make her feel very feminine and still not be intimidated... great!

    My LTR LOVES it when I pick her up, throw her over my shoulder, etc. Basically manhandling her.
     
  21. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I also agree with treating a woman like a woman, but for someone who cannot even APPROACH a woman it can be a helpful mindset, that's all. As you progress and get more practiced and skilled at being social, then by all means you will find out how to treat her like a woman.

    However, treating her like a guy means you won't make the often fatal mistakes of:

    1. Walking up and telling her how hot she is.
    2. Touching her.
    3. Staring at her tits
    4. Talking about sex, or how you'd like to have sex with her
    5. Telling her you have feelings for her
    6. Sitting/standing too close to her
    7. Any other things that would be "gay" when done with a man.

    I'm just pointing out that if you treat her like a man, it will come across as confident and NOT desperate.

    After you have gotten the hang of it, then by all means change how you work things. Touching is VERY powerful, but only after you've established your confidence and know better how to touch appropriately.

    A tip would be to also try to talk to strange guys when you meet them. Walk up and say Hi, make small talk, ask them the same things - what's fun to do around here? And remember, you can talk like an asshole with men, but you must be polite and non-disgusting/rude with women. That means you can talk to guys about cars, computers, sex, blood and guts, murder, politics, TV, girls, religion, whatever. But when you're with a woman, avoid being so serious. Ask her questions and LEARN about her. Find out what kind of person she is. Joke with her responses when appropriate. Flirt. SMILE. Look her in the EYES. Sit up straight, stand up straight. Speak with a deep voice and clearly. Basically, act like a mature adult male, not a 13 year old sex-starved maniac.

    And if you have to talk about the weather, you're done! :lol:
     

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