SRS i am pissed off at myself

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by cooldragon, Aug 2, 2007.

  1. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    i am just really pissed off at myself. i feel really lonely and i feel like a big loser for being socially incompetent and scared. i have friends that care about me and are there for me but on a day to day basis i feel lonely.

    i dont talk to all my friends everyday and many times its because i dont call anyone or try to hang out with them. they always call me. for example 3 of my friends called and i talked to them for a few minutes but felt anxious cause i thought we would have nothing to talk about so i made an excuse and hung up. then i was pissed off all day cause i was at work and sat there by myself reading a book and i wished i was talking to someone. i do this all the time. I pushed away my ex girlfriend i avoid seeing her because i felt like the more she saw me the more she would think i was a loser.

    i can think of all the times i have lost friends because i just ignored them didnt pay attention to them lost that connection or never had a good connection because of the way i act. and they went out and met new people.

    i want to be in a relationship and i have had many many chances without even approaching girls. i mean they come to me but i seriously dont go out with any of them because of this fear that they will see that i am boring, shy, and closed off from everyone.

    i want to have good close friends that i hang out with and that i see on a semi daily basis but in many ways i do the exact opposite of that. i dont call them i sometimes say no to hanging out with them. rather than talking to new people i read a book or listen to music. and when i feel alone which is alot i become this person who cant do anything else. i cant do homework or think straight and it pisses me off.

    right now, this really awesome girl wants to go out with me. she came to my job just to talk to me for an hour she gave me her number i didnt even asl but i havent called her in the past few days cause i am scared i wont be able to hold a conversation. i cant do it with my close friends how am i going to do this. same thing with going on a date i just feel incompetent to have fun and have a good conversation and connect with a person. its a battle between wanting to be with a person but having that fair and anxiety that i will screw up everything.

    i hate talking to people one on one even my own friends. i dont know why. there is basically one person that i talk to about everything and comfortable with. i am comfortable with talking to strangers like at work no problem. but outside of work i feel uncomfortable. many times if i am with one of my friends i feel uncomfortable and dont enjoy myself.
    i dont i want to have a good social life be connected with people but to me its almost a burden and painful to actually get that so i avoid it. i avoid relationsip hanging out etc. and it pisses me off everyday. i feel overwhelmed and feel like i will just keep doing this to myself.
     
  2. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    Your problems:

    Low self-esteem
    No confidence in yourself
    Socially Inept



    Solution:
    There are hundreds of threads in the Vaginarium about how to fix self-esteem issues and how to boost confidence. You should look into reading them.

    I would give you some specifics, but I am at work and can't go into too much detail right now.
     
  3. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Theres a difference between being alone and being lonely.

    Also, who talks to their friends every single day?? Well perhaps younger people that see them at school all the time. But for older people that have jobs and families and careers, this just doesn't happen. In fact, if I talk to some of my friends once a week that's about normal for me.
     
  4. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    Yeap. Happened to me too for this summer when I got my full time job. So much time is spent working, I barely have enough time after work to really sit down and chat or hang out. That only happens friday - sunday :/
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Exactly...and when friends move away it gets even worse. Hell I have a family member that I haven't talked to in months simply because we're both busy and doing our own things right now. I used to see him every day so it's kind of a nice break for us.
     
  6. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    yeah i do know that i am not going to see my friends everyday but it was just that last year i had a good group of friends that i hung out with last year always had something going on but i left them cause they werent the best people. i just miss that aspect of it.

    my friends now dont hang out too much on the weekands, they are kind of boring, etc.

    i also did not get back with my ex and i am not going out with anyone so i miss my ex but dont want to get back together cause of trouble before.

    i have other things going on i work part time going to start school soon i am working on some art projects, i have been working out for the past month, i play all kinds of sports.

    i was thinking of moving out and starting a new life. i dont like it too much in the suburbs and maybe living by myself may force me to change the way i look at things.
     
  7. childofbean

    childofbean Green Member

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    Wow, you sound exactly like me, only you're a guy. :eek3: I happen to live in the suburbs too, and I imagine that moving into the city would help me make more friends. I have general anxiety disorder, which is probably one of the main reasons why I consider myself "socially retarded". Sometimes it's just that I don't feel like making myself talk to people. :dunno:
    Anyway, I'm going to stick around this thread to see if you get any good answers.
     
  8. cooldragon

    cooldragon New Member

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    i do that too actually too. i have opportunities to talk to people but i just dont talk to them. i listen to my ipod or do something else.

    the girl that i got the number of came back today to talk to me and i got anxious again. its annoying as hell. if i am thinking about things to say and it kills the conversation cause you are not paying attention.

    yeah i definitly raise my self esteem and gain some confidence so i will look around the threads and see if i can find something and if you all have anything to recommend that would be good too.
     

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