SRS I AM A STALKER and the guy has a GF

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Kkusum, Jan 27, 2007.

  1. Kkusum

    Kkusum New Member

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    So I've been insanely in love with this guy for about 10 months now and I just found out today he has a girlfriend... What should I do?

    He doesn't know I stalk him..
     
  2. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Need more info...how do you stalk, what do you do?

    Does this guy even know you?
     
  3. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    You're not a very good stalker if it took you 10 months to find out he has a gf. :o
     
  4. Kkusum

    Kkusum New Member

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    No.. well I do stupid things to follow him and I internet stalk him. I knew he had a girlfriend but I thought they had broken up...

    I'm insanely in love with him but I don't understand why he doesnt like me?

    Yeah he does know me... but we don't talk
     
  5. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    Might wanna add some background to the situation.. in a biiit more detail if you want any opinions.. :o
     
  6. TheManLouisianaFace

    TheManLouisianaFace and decide!

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    You are obsessed. It's lust, not love. There is no way you can love someone when you didn't even know they had a GF for 10 months.


    Quit living in fantasies.
     
  7. Kkusum

    Kkusum New Member

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    Ok.. I met this guy about a year ago (friendly gathering) and we kept running into one another and from the moment we met I was so attached to him. Then we finally got introduced about 2 months after meeting (by a mutual friend) and we would talk and he totally showed interest in me.. but then when I asked him if he wanted to get together one day just the two of us.. he said he had a gf and after that we just fell apart.. stopped talking .. barely saw one another..

    Now I've started running into him again (while I wasn't running into him I was stalking him - myspace, facebook, etc.

    I recently found out he has a gf. Im not conceited in any way but I am very pretty and a lot of his friends and mine tell me I'm better than him.

    WHY DOESNT HE SEE IT? I'm so in love with him.. what should I do?

    Should I get over him and forget about him.. or should I try to get him?
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Stop stalking him. You have no relationship and you never will. How do I know?
    You've already told me. By your actions and what you judge to be appropriate behaviour with him, I know you will never have a true equal-to-equal love relationship with him.
    Because you don't believe it possible yourself. Thus your behaviour towards him.


    No. What you thought was interest, was not interest.
    Because when you laid it out, he quickly backed away and disconnected from you.

    That's nice. If that's true then you shouldn't have a problem moving on and finding someone else.

    Leave him alone. Leave his gf alone.
     
  9. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    :hsugh:

    So your friends tell you you're better than him, and you agree. What makes you think this? You barely even know the guy... is this feeling you have based on just your looks? Theres ppl out there who don't solely jump into a relationship based on looks. However theres ppl like yourself, who feel they fall "in love" with someone they barely know, only based on the way they look.

    As stated above, you are NOT in love with him, but are obviously highly attracted to him. If you already conveyed your feelings towards him over the last 10 months, and he still is with his gf, move on and let them be. In fact, if he has a gf and told you this, he is not interested, and you should find someone who is not in a relationship to lust over.
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I'm with Johan on this.

    To the OP, I think you mistook friendliness with interest/attraction. It's true that perhaps he was interested in what you were saying and may have been attracted to you in some platonic (NON-romantic) way. This was clearly indicated when you told him you wanted to spend time alone and he wasn't interested.

    You are likely in love with an image you have of him. Or of you and him together. Reality is seldom as good as the images we build up in our minds. However, this guy has a gf now so unless you wanna trample on that and get your heart broken, I'd suggest you just move on.

    If you are a good looking as you claim to be, there's prolly some great guy that's been keeping an eye on you and may be working up the courage to ask you out. If you are so focused on your stalking target, you'll likely miss this guy.
     
  11. Kkusum

    Kkusum New Member

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    :wtc: Life sucks.. I just wish he was mine... I guess I will have to stop obsessing over him... I really thought we'd end up together
     
  12. Kkusum

    Kkusum New Member

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    There are.. I've always tried to date and I never end up going through with it. I cancel dates, I stand guys up.. I reject them.. not because I'm a bish but just because no one seems to compare to this guy..

    It's true I don't know him and I think I do have this image of him........... Crap I'm F-ed
     
  13. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I would suggest that noone compares to your IMAGE of this guy. You really should try to see this ideal guy in more realistic terms but letting go of dreams like this can be difficult.

    Oh and how about not standing anyone else up?? Perhaps you should be grateful that anyone is asking you out at all. You are also probably developing a reputation as someone who is not fit to date....you'll attract a whole different type of guy then....you may not like that.
    No you're not. Not even close.

    The key is just to realize that fantasy is not reality. You are a human being with feelings and emotions....so are these guys that are asking you out. Perhaps you should take a step back and go out with one of these guys....NOT to compare him to your ideal, but simply to get to know him.

    Someone very wise once said, "Everyone has something interesting about them. The key is finding out what it is."
     
  14. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    If you sneak into his room and leave him a note, written in your own blood and scented with your nether scent, then he will know how you really feel and fall deeply and madly in love with you.

    Can you handle his affection?
     
  15. Kkusum

    Kkusum New Member

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    Ohh.. wow.. I don't know if I'm ready to date just yet.. But thank you for your advice.. gives me a lot to think about.. :hsugh:

    Hopefully I can get over him.. I hate this feeling.
     
  16. BradUF

    BradUF Guest


    You think you're Dr. Phill or something...
     
  17. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Like I said....date to get to know someone as a friend. DOn't lead them on and there's no reason to do anything you don't want to. However, when you're on the date, focus on your date 100% of the time. Ask questions about them, what are they into or what do they do after school or w/e.

    If your mind drifts back to mr perfect and you find yourself comparing your date to your image, just remind yourself that fantasy is not reality and you're comparing this guy to a fantasy. Then refocus on him and try again to get to know him.

    One of the great things about images and fantasies is that we can project anything we want onto those images. It doesn't matter how far fetched or perfect it is....we can easily see that quality in our ideal. 99.99% of the time, the person isn't even close to what we had imagined.

    You have the power to end this as soon as you want to. It's absolutely a choice you are making to believe in this irrational fantasy. When you decide that reality is greater than fantasy, you'll start to let go of it.
     
  18. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    pretty sure the quoted guy was just joking...
     
  19. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I see him post all the time and he is a damn smart ass.
     
  20. Isamu

    Isamu New Member

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    I always thought it would be cool to have a stalker..

    but if your as good looking as you say you are.. you should have no problem finding someone like/better then him.
     
  21. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    Non sugar coated posts are generally seen like this, but I feel its needed from time to time to get points across.
     
  22. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :rofl:
     
  23. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    I guarantee you that you dont love him. I guarantee that you're in love with this image of him you've contructed, where you've filled in all the blanks with your ideal, patched over all his faults, so in your mind he's the perfect man.
     
  24. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :rofl: Peyomp is like the antithesis of Dr. Phil

    but his advice is more often than not good
     
  25. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :werd: Peyomp is the Simon of the Asylum. He doesn't mince words, he has no tact, but what he says is the truth, and you'd be a fool to disregard his words, merely because they arent couched in euphemisms and coddling.
     

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