I am a retard when it comes to these things...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Man Bear Pig, Aug 31, 2007.

  1. Man Bear Pig

    Man Bear Pig Banned

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    these things being called relationships. I have no idea how dating works, or romantic relationships. I have "had" relationships and been dating off and on, but I really do not understand the dynamics involved. Everyone thinks I am genuine, sweet, nice guy, but, about a week later they lose interest because I come on pretty strong, even though it is not my intention.
    Combine this with an anxiety disorder centered around interpersonal relationships, let's just say everything gets fucked real fast. I usually try and avoid it all together, dating relationships whatever, but I am a human, so I have that innate desire. Honestly, I don't really know what I am asking of you guys, but yeah. Fuck it.

    EDIT:
    Oh I know what the problem is, it is my fucking anxiety disorder. Honestly, everything in life does not bother, school, work, random life crap, money, but if you want to induce a panic attack in me, just leave me hanging in a vulnerable place in the initial stages of getting to know someone. I am medicated and all that shit, and nothing bothers me, except for this crap.

    Combined with my sketched family past, I can't really answer normal questions a person asks about a family;
    "What does your father mother do?"
    "Oh, she is a suicidal drunk, whom I have threatened with a restraining order, so she will stay out of my life. Pops is a certified crazy, and is probably going to prison here soon, oh and I don't speak to his crazy ass either."
    "Oh..."

    My family history turns people off in a pretty big way, and I don't really advertise it, along with a lot of my own past issues I have had to deal with. People ask questions and I tell them bluntly and as politely as I can if they are curious, but the red flags start flying up everywhere.

    If I can develop some resemblance of a relationship, it is often with some one who has more problems than I do, or is still in the process of recovery. I am yet to have a girlfriend who is even mildly mentally stable and those whom I do pursue, are not on the same page of interest as me. I like to say I am very exceptional, "you know you are a wonderful person, except...." Most of my pseudo relationships last 1-2 months at most, with my longest relationship ever being 3 months long.

    A lot of times I feel the deck is staked so I make no attempts to even date. I have tried using the dating websites and it seems it is the only way I meet people which is ridiculous considering I attend a school with 20K+ people, I just don't identify with people.

    I wonder sometimes I have some kind of personality disorder, because I only view people as their usefulness to me. Not using them, but what kind of friend could they potentially be, or if I am attracted to them all. I have no female friends, simply to avoid any kind of potential inappropriate attachment I may develop to them. That and I don't really actively seek the company of other people anymore, or well for the past 5 months or so. I don't feel depressed, most of the time I am fairly content with life, but once a girl or woman is introduced, it seems everything begins the path of shit and my mood follows. Ug.
     
  2. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    read the sticky
     

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