SRS I am a mental disorder hypochondriac

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by RandomDead, Apr 2, 2007.

  1. RandomDead

    RandomDead Have your pets spayed or neutered

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2001
    Messages:
    24,907
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chapel Hill NC
    So.. something is wrong with the way my mind works. I know that I have some sort of problem, I just don't know what it is. The problem is every time I hear a basic description of any disorder, I think to myself "that's the one!".
    For example: One of my friends is bipolar and was describing one of her manic episodes and I thought to myself "I bet that's what I have, I'm just better at controlling it!"

    Or today someone posted saying they think their roommate has Asperger's syndrome and I thought "maybe that's it! it's just not as noticeable".

    I've thought the same about schizophrenia and a slew of other mental disorders before.

    Here's what I do know about myself:

    1. I'm depressed, this I'm certain of. I did go to a psychologist when I was a kid for depression and it helped, a lot. Still I'm pretty much in a constant state of depression.

    2. Delusions of grandeur. I think that I am better than everyone else at almost everything. Not only that but I sometimes think I could be pre-ordained for greatness, when that happens I have to stop myself and remind myself that I'm not and try to deal with whatever situation I happen to be mulling over the way a "normal" person would.

    3. Mood swings. I tend to go thru periods where EVERYTHING irritates me. It's uncontrollable, almost everything and everyone pisses me off when this happens. I also go thru periods of feeling depressed, or feeling manic like I'm on the top of the world. What is controllable is my reaction to these feelings. I am pretty adept at modifying my external mood/actions/words to make me not seem like a freak every day.

    4. I'm obsessed with the end of the world/apocalypse/global cataclysm. Not only am I (in my own mind) certain that such an event WILL happen in my lifetime, I'm certain that I'll actually live thru it. My greatest fear is having to survive a post-apocalyptic hell in which little semblance of civilization exists.

    5. I have constant regrets for past mistakes. everything reminds me of some boneheaded blunder I've made previously, which causes me to obsess over something that has already happened and has no bearing on anything that is currently happening. Regret in general just tears me up. It's one of the worst pains I am capable of experiencing.

    6. I over rationalize/over technicalize/think too logically about EVERYTHING. Can't help it, it just seems natural.

    7. I obsess over anything that I can't fully control.

    8. I'm constantly paranoid

    9. I manipulate people without trying. It's just so easy, it seems like it takes me 2-3 steps in thought less to figure anything out than it does others, because of this I always know the right things to say to get someone to do what I want. It's like some sort of sick superpower that I have.. :hsugh:

    So what's wrong w/ me OT? And before anyone says "just go see a doctor" remember I tend to think everything is wrong with me so when the doctor starts in with a certain line of questioning that will lead me to think I'm Bipolar or schizophrenic I'll run with it and manipulate him into thinking he's correct.
     
  2. Scootin

    Scootin OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2004
    Messages:
    111,907
    Likes Received:
    296
    Location:
    St Louis
    Alrighty, here goes.

    As I read through what you claim your symptoms are, the first thing that popped into my head was a bipolar disorder, specifically bipolar I disorder. I'm also noticing a good deal of anxiety, which suggests a fairly severe generalized anxiety disorder. Keep in mind that comorbidity (having a couple different psychological problems) is very common, and narrowing down to a single problem can be detrimental to your therapy.

    Now when you say that you believe every symptom applies to you, or that you could possibly have every disease...realize that almost everyone can think that to a certain extent. It's a basic psychological phenomenon called the Barnum Effect: The tendency for people to apply whatever they see in the world to their particular situation. I'm not saying you shouldn't watch it, because if you start feeling very anxious and begin seeking treatment, etc for many diseases that you kind of already realize you don't have, this can be classified as Hypochondriasis.

    On to the doctor issue. You're probably not going to be able to manipulate your doctor to the extent that he will misdiagnose you. :) Your symptomology plays a very significant part in your treatment, and in the end, actually classifying the disease plays a relatively small role in your treatment. In the end, your situation will probably be better treated with cognitive-behavioral therapy as opposed to medication. Medication certainly isn't out of the question, but it will certainly take a back seat to rearranging your abnormal thought processes.

    Your doctor will be able to tell you more than anyone on OT ever will. Go in there, tell him what you're feeling, and then, just shut up. :)

    I'm really tired right now so I'm not sure if this is all making sense. Let me know if I can clarify anything for you.
     
  3. RandomDead

    RandomDead Have your pets spayed or neutered

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2001
    Messages:
    24,907
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chapel Hill NC
    thanks :)

    I think the best thing you said is that I need therapy as opposed to medication most likely. I know friends who's doctors throw drugs at them like candy, and I'm just not looking for that.
     
  4. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    There's a name for that. Medical/psychology students go through it. Every time they hear about a new disease/condition they think they have it. We learned about that in psychology. Our teacher warned us about it before we started studying conditions.
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Me too. Except my problem is that on one else realizes it. I'll have a brilliantly profound thought/concept/whatever that blows everyone else's out of the water, but no one else will see it that way. Then I get pissed at myself for not being able to explain it properly. That must obviously be the problem because otherwise they would see how great and logically sound all my ideas are (sometimes I'm wrong and other people point that out, but usually I'm right). Or they're not logical enough to understand where I'm coming from. :rofl: :sadwavey:
     
  6. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2002
    Messages:
    19,344
    Likes Received:
    12
    Sounds like a seratonin reputake \ seratonin level issue to me, possibly.

    Basically it seems like some chemical levels are going up or down unpredictably leading to your symptoms.

    IMO chemical imbalance is caused by a way of thinking, caused by a chemical imbalance. The exterior or internal world might be responsible for this.

    Talk to a professional.
     
  7. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2006
    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Long Island // Virginia Tech
    Just out of curiosity, how old are you?
     
  8. weolracso

    weolracso OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2007
    Messages:
    1,167
    Likes Received:
    0
    just chillax man
     
  9. RandomDead

    RandomDead Have your pets spayed or neutered

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2001
    Messages:
    24,907
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chapel Hill NC
    28 as of saturday
     
  10. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2006
    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Long Island // Virginia Tech
    The reason why I asked how old you were was because I had started making a post. And in that post I was going to state how you sounded like a 16 year old kid growing up and learning what the world is like.

    You have all the things that a teen goes through...

    1. I'm depressed,
    2. Delusions of grandeur. I think that I am better than everyone else
    3. Mood swings.
    5. I have constant regrets for past mistakes
    8. I'm constantly paranoid

    These 5 things that you labeled are completely OBVIOUS that if you had just told me that, I would of assumed that you were 16-19 years old, and just experiencing what it's like to grow up.

    However, I still stand by what I'm going to tell you... You need to grow up. You need to stop over-analyzing yourself and looking into things that you have done or will do. Since you are so over-analytical of everything that happens, you are always paranoid and conscious of what you are doing. You regret what you've screwed up because you think the answer is so obvious since you can see everything better in hindsight. I can go on and on forever.

    So, as I will say again... You need to grow up and accept what this world has to offer you. Make the best of what ya got, and don't look back on anything you do. You are most likely no different than any of us that are out here. Stop telling yourself there is something mentally wrong with you, and you will fix what's wrong.

    I had the same problem... I looked through my family history and noticed that my mother's side has a lot of mental instability once they reach the 40's or so. My mother is horribly paranoid about everything and over-exaggerates everything, my aunt is receiving money from her old job because she was supposedly "mentally ill" and that's why they fired her... and my grandmother thinks 95 year old women are breaking into her house and stealing her jewerly...
    I felt I would be in the same situation for about a year...

    Now I don't care... and I don't really think that there was anything wrong with me in the first place. Your mind is a powerful thing. It can manipulate your environment and make you think things that aren't there.


    So, grow up... mature... stop thinking your mentally insane and live life to the best of your ability. We all have a limited time here, so do what you gotta do now before it's too late. Every minute you sit here thinking your mentally ill is another minute you could of spent doing something productive.
     
  11. RandomDead

    RandomDead Have your pets spayed or neutered

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2001
    Messages:
    24,907
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chapel Hill NC
    See the thing is I don't let my feelings and emotions normally stand in the way of living my life to it's fullest. I think the reason I'm so sure something is wrong with me is I am able to control it, I'm able to conduct myself as a normal person would... it's just that my thoughts are erratic. I live life to the fullest for the most part, it's just the mental anguish that is starting to get to me. I spent years, literally, not letting these things get to me.. growing up and forgetting that I might just be insane.. and after years I've gotten really good at acting the part of a normal individual.. but that's it.
     

Share This Page