I always want sex, fiancee doesnt

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by amac88, Aug 28, 2009.

  1. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    My fiancee and I have been together almost 1 1/2 years. I love her to death, but it seems like I always want to have sex with her, and she doesnt. Dont get me wrong, she does sometimes, usually on weekends. Otherwise shes "too tired". She will let me play with her and stuff if I really want it, but I wish she would want it more. She always says Im being "pushy" about it, but Ive told her, any guy is like that. She used to seem to always wanna do it, of course that was when we only saw each other once a week, now we see each other every day. Could that have something to do with it?
     
  2. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    what is contributing to her being "too tired"? long work hours? too much stuff to do around the house? etc
     
  3. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    She works full time at a vet clinic.
     
  4. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    is she stressed from her work? does she work more than 8 hours a day? what does she do when she comes home?
     
  5. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    She has been known to work 10 hour days, we usually eat dinner and watch TV when she gets home. We are the same as a married couple, except she doesnt sleep here every night yet. well be watching TV or somethin, and Ill kiss her, and she pushes me away and says "no" or "you always wanna have sex". Its not my fault Im an average 21 year old dude.
     
  6. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    shes working 10 hour days, i bet she really is tired. how about you ask her what you can do to help her relax. a massage maybe? a hot bath? shes not ready for sex cause shes still stressed from work. help her relax and the sex should come easier.
     
  7. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    She told you what a big part of the problem is. She feels pressured. The more you pressure her, the less likely you are going to get jackshit from her.
     
  8. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    What can I do to make her want it more? Just stop pushing for it? Im afraid we would never have sex if I didnt. I know thats not true, but I think that way sometimes.
     
  9. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    you can help her relax. you can ask her what turns her on. you can ask her what turns her off
     
  10. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Next time you are on the couch with her, give her a nice shouler and back massage.
     
  11. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    If frequent sex is important to you, you may want to consider a new fiance.:ugh2:
     
  12. Nuhlinga

    Nuhlinga Whaa gwaaan papcaann?

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    21....fiancee?
     
  13. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    Its not really a dealbreaker for me, theres so much else I love about her. And, I know its still early, but Ive done plenty of partying, clubbing, etc. Im ready to move to the next step in life.
     
  14. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Maybe there are other issues than just being too tired. Maybe she is feeling bored by it, or that she isn't getting really great sex to be really into it. I've worked 10hr days before and come home extremely tired, but the sex I have with my guy is AMAZING and it's a great way to wind down when I come home. And it puts me in a great mood and I am super relaxed I am ready for bed.

    I would talk to her more about it and dig a little deeper than just "I'm tired"
     
  15. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    It will be.

    Shame you're going to have to go through a failed marriage to realize that, but I'm fairly sure, based on previous experiences with people who were in this situation, that nothing I can say can convince you.

    I'll say this much though: Take this current issue and then multiply it by 100. Take that current feeling you have about this? Yeah, multiply that by 100.

    That's what being married to this woman will be like.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  17. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    I'm certainly not an expert, but I would say back off for a few days, help her relax, and dont push it. If she doesnt respond within a few days, bring up the issue and talk about it with her. Let her know you understand shes is tired and stressed at times, but you would like...some enthusiastic participation from her.
     
  18. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    I agree...there can be more to it than being tired. Do you have good sex on weekends?
     
  19. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    Yeah, we usually both love it, Ive shown her things she didnt even know were possible...she gets really into it then.
     
  20. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Don't talk to us. We're not there, and we're not involved. Sit down, and have an actual discussion with her about the issue.
     
  21. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    *golf clap*
     
  22. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Here is your problem. Your relationship is boring. There is no excitement at all. Sitting around watching tv with a guy night after night doesn't make you want to fuck him. It just makes you feel lazy and not want to do anything.

    I'm sure when you used to have sex a lot you also had more of a life. You probably went out and did things together and did things with your friends and had alone time. Now you said you spend everyday together. How can she miss you and desire sex with you if you don't ever go away?
     
  23. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    It's a very common thing for sex to be a factor when relationships end.
     
  24. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    If she's having sex with you multiple times a week and is regularly willing to help you get off even when she isn't in the mood for intercourse, then count yourself lucky.
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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