SRS I always feel so dirty after i drink

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by SovietRussia, May 13, 2005.

  1. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i was on no drink probation and only drank a handful of times during the last 9 months of it. now that i am free, i can legally drink, but the next morning i always feel so dirty. i feel like i drank too much, when i am trying to control my drinking so i dont get into any trouble. i think i am doing 'ok' but i feel like there is still room for improvement. i always wake up the next morning worrying about what others are thinking of me that morning. i feel dirty now. its kinda hard to explain. :wtc:
     
  2. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    Well, it took me a while to realize I am an alcoholic. Don't be afraid to admit it. But, if you feel so dirty after doing it, then why do it at all? That will be the true test in knowing for yourself if you are an alcoholic. I tried stopping, but when I did my test, I knew then that I could not quite by myself. I need the AA meetings I have started to attend, and I am proud to say I have been sober for the last three days. Just take it one day at a time. I am sure if you have any questions at all there are probably a few people in here that can answer your questions and give you great advice. They have helped me a lot just by listening. Hope everything works out for ya. If you ever want to chat my yahoo is bbqmonster 3 :)
     
  3. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Well, why were you on no drink probation? Did you get in trouble for drinking before, possibly a DUI? If you're waking up wondering what others are thinking of you, it sounds like you are drinking to a point of near blackout (or full blackout).

    You can try some controlled drinking, go to the bar and have half a beer or a beer and just stop. Stop after 1 and a half a few other times. If you find it difficult to do this, then you are an alcoholic, someone with the inability to moderate. If this is the case, and you keep drinking more than you had planned on, and feeling "dirty in the morning," ask for help, hit up an AA meeting.

    You could also just go to an AA meeting now and see if you can identify with what others share. If you identify with anything that's said in AA, you may belong there. Good luck, keep posting and update us on the situation. If you need to talk to someone a little more who knows about alcoholism, check the contact list.
     
  4. metoots13

    metoots13 New Member

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    glad you posted in here, did you read any of the stories under "my story"?

    can you relate at all?

    welcome to our family of recovering folks
     
  5. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i went to AODA and am an alcoholic. when i was in jail, i went to AA meetings. it made me want to drink more. i plan on trying to curtail my drinking, and like someone said, just drink one and then stop. or 2. thing is, i am a social alcoholic. i dont drink by myself, nor do i drink in the morning to 'stop the hurt'. so basically i am just going to try it out for a bit. if i find myself getting too out of control i will stop.
     
  6. metoots13

    metoots13 New Member

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    so, did you read the stuff in "my story". I think you're missing the point somehow. Anyway we're here if you want to chat. For me, there is no such thing as a social alcoholic, same as no such thing as social drug user, or recreational drug use, I have one of anything and all I want is more. The key is to look for the similarities. Given the fact that you seem young, you might want to try NA instead of AA, most NA is younger and not so many war stories, mostly focusing on the recovery aspect, how we stay clean and sober today.
     
  7. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    metoots:

    i understand your concern. i have no problem staying sober, but all of my friends drink, so they go out to the bars, etc. and i feel kinda dumb hanging out at a bar with out a drink. so i drink. but when i was not drinking for the past 9 months, i didnt really have a problem not drinking, besides not being able to hang out with my friends.
     
  8. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    There is no such thing as a social alcoholic. Either you are an alcoholc, or you're not. If you can't moderate, you are an alcoholic. Many alcoholics can stay sober for periods of time, then eventually when they drink 1 or 2 drinks again, they lose control. This is what is characteristic of the alcoholic. I think you misinterpreted what I previously posted, I didn't say "curtail your drinking," I was proposing that you test yourself to find out if you are alcoholic or not.

    If you already know you are an alcoholic, then you should be going back to meetings and get some help. You've been before in jail, so I'm assuming you know the deal a little bit, although meetings on the outside are a little different. If you don't stay sober and attend some meetings, you'll be headed right back to jail, or even worse. I don't mean to be a dick about it, but that's just the way it is. You really shouldn't be hanging out in the bar at all if you're an alcoholic, it's not your place, go to some meetings and make some new friendships with people that are sober. It's ok to see your old friends once in a while, but don't go hang out with them in the bar with like 2 days sober, not a good idea.
     
  9. metoots13

    metoots13 New Member

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    hmm, well, you can keep doing what you're doing, but don't be surprised if you keep getting what you're getting, and eventually you will do enough, to say "no more". I know many people in the same situation as you, and we all started with that mindset at some time, denial of how it really is, I recall saying the same phrases you used, I don't drink alone, I don't drink in the morning, etc. What Eligh was saying was to try some "controlled" drinking, as in trying to stop at one or a couple, and try it several different times to see if you can drink responsibly (no driving drunk, no fights, no arguments, no hangover, no regrets), if you can, as it says in the AA Big Book, our hats are off to you, you might not be an alcoholic, if you find you get in trouble again (not that you get in trouble every time you drink or use, but that when you get in trouble you have been drinking or using) you may have a problem. When you want to change that lifestyle or problem, we here have found a solution and can help you.

    Some things to check out online without having to go to a meeting are AA.org, check out the 44 question pamphlet and some of the other online things; NA.org has other kind of pamphlets and information too.

    keep coming back and let us know how you are doing.
     

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