SRS Hurt Feelings v.WTF out of now where

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Handsom3, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Tonight I was having a little conversation with the g/f about random shit and she brought up a conversation she had at dinner with her family. You can find it below:

    Mary:
    we were talking about you today at dinner and about marrying each other and my mom said to wait until im like at least 25ish and my dad was like wait till your 30. and joe was like ill be damned if she marries andrew. and my mom was like why? and he was like because thats like the only person shes ever actually been serious about

    Mary:
    and i was like i love him

    Granted I know we are a bit young, but for some reason what her brother really hurt my feelings. I mean we have been fighting a bit lately, but nothing major and we worked through it, and I'm just wondering if this is something in my head warning me. My mom always tells me I take things to serious and need to relax and take things slow and maybe this is what my head is telling me. Sorry for the rambling.
     
  2. Atlantic

    Atlantic New Member

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    I think he might just be overprotective of his sister, or at least wants her to explore her options and to be very sure as not to marry on a whim.
     
  3. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    He's right though. :dunno:

    It's nothing personal, man, but he's so spot on. Marrying the first person you get serious with is a recipe for a failed marriage.

    Oh, I know, I know. You guys are somehow different. We don't know what we are talking about. Yadda yadda yadda. Sadly, most people have to learn the hard way about this, no matter how much we try to preach it.

    The moral to this story: This is nothing to get bent out of shape about. He's absolutely right and what he said has absolutely nothing to do with you personally.

    My suggestion? Take her dad's advice...wait until you are 25 or 30 before you get married. Live with her for a couple of years first. And get a prenup. ;)
     
  4. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Oh I know we aren't different from everyone else, I learned that from a past relationship. We plan on waiting a while before getting married and having a long engagement and making sure we can live with each other first. Hell, we don't even plan on getting engaged for 2-3 years from now. I guess it just caught me off guard.
     
  5. Anudist

    Anudist Turnin' Jesus on, one lightswitch at a time.

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    Good idea, if you're set on doing this. Just MAKE SURE you are showing her your real side, don't hold things back from her, don't lie to her, and make sure you are open with your feelings, even if you think it will hurt her. Honesty and openness are essential to any working relationship.

    Also, listen to your friends and your family, people outside of the relationship can see things going on that you can't.
     
  6. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Meh, just don't take it personally. I highly doubt it was a cut on you personally. He's just seeing the trend of things.

    So long as you enter it smart, you'll have no regrets. The biggest thing to remember is not to rush it. There is no hurry whatsoever for you to get married. You NEED to live with her for a while before getting married. And it'd be in your best interest to get a prenup. :dunno:
     
  7. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Word, marriage makes me nervous today, but I know I want to do it with her.
     
  8. up|dn

    up|dn ಠ_ಠ

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    I'd like some evidence to back up your statements. Statistically, people who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce and I have a feeling the same goes for pre-nups. As for marrying your first serious gf, I see no reason why this would be a bad thing (and yes, I've been married for almost 6 years to mine).
     
  9. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Can you provide a link or study to that statement?

    Thanks.
     
  10. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Just look around the Asylum and the Vag man. :rofl:

    Here, I'll raise my hand.

    *raises hand*

    Hi, my name is Viper and I am on of said statistics who married the first girl he got serious with and ended up violently divorced with 2 kids in the process.

    Look around here and you'll see the same story repeated over and over where the names are changed to protect the innocent.

    The interesting thing about this is, that the only people who will disagree with me is people like yourself, who are in the situation.

    No, not EVERYBODY will end up divorced who marries the first serious relationship (kudos to you for lasting 6 years), but there are a lot of people who don't last. a simple google search will provide you that statistic.
     
  11. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Alright, sounds like a real hoot.



    Mom and dad are making sense. There is quite good reasoning behind waiting. Joe is trying to make sense but falls short. He doesn't realize that people aren't him, that it's not his place to crush people's dreams and hopes, even if they are unlikely or unreasonable. There is nothing wrong with letting a young person think they'll marry the first person they were serious with and love.



    She just proved my point, that Joe should shut up and be supportive, not cynical. He could have just been realistic and followed suit, but no he had to be special, he had to be unique, he had to be the one to rise above the rest and be a negative prick.

    I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, but yes this is something that needs to be taken slow, and enjoy the process. If Joe gets negative with you directly, then you can tell him how you feel about it, but otherwise, it's his opinion and what he thinks. Meaning, it's worthless.
     
  12. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Fact. Don't be a dumb shit and ignore their observations.
     
  13. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Go to the debate forum if you want statistics. We're here to show support not bicker.

    Congrats.
     
  14. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    lol you are fucking his sister, of course he wont like you til you marry her
     

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