SRS How would your SO feel about you living with members of opposite sex?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by OhHai, Jun 8, 2009.

  1. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Recently me and my girlfriend of a year and a half had a big arguement because I told her that me and 3 of my guy friends and one female friend would be renting a house together. I have known the female friend for over 3 years, and nothing has ever happened between us and nothing ever will because there is absolutely no interest on either part. We are all jsut one big group of friends. Am I being unreasonable thinking she should be ok with this? Would any of your SO's be angry in this situation? She is incredibly angry, but I think after a year and a half we should be stronger than this... SOrry, I am kind of ranting.. any opinions?
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    be honest with yourself. how would you feel if she and 3 girlfriends were living with one guy?
     
  3. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Is she so insecure and untrusting that she can't accept it? How important is the relationship to you -- are you willing to forego moving in if the female friend out of respect for your girlfriend?
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She's being ridiculous. I lived with 2 different guy friends during my current relationship and my SO was competely fine with it. He trusts me, that is all that matters.

    I can't even imagine giving a shit if my SO moved in it a bunch of other guys and one girl. She sounds insecure and possibly jealous that you two are not living together.
     
  5. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Yes, we had this discussion. I would feel a little bothered, but honestly if I knew the guy and knew that had no history or anything, I wouldnt be bothered. I feel like she is bothered that we are not living together because that is something she had wanted, but I couldn't handle it. The thing about the situation is, I need more people in on this house because it is cheaper, and money is tight for me. I would normally have no problems telling the girl she cant live with us, but she and the 3 other guys are all good friends and have known each other awhile, and this has been planned for a few months, so it would be a dick move on my part.
     
  6. chickenfeather

    chickenfeather New Member

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    She is probably upset because she feels that she would not do it given she was in the same situation. Also, note that even though you are friends with the girl, living together with people brings people closer together than they normally would otherwise.
    Example : A labmate of mine broke off an engagement a month prior to her wedding because she went on a week long business trip with a coworker and they shared the same hotel room. She had been dating her fiancee for 5 years. :hsughno: i guess he fucked her better than her fiance.
     
  7. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    she's upset about you moving in with 3 other guys and 1 girl?

    trust issues!!!
     
  8. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Seriously, what's he gonna do, run a train? I mean there are 3 other guys, it's not like he's living with her alone.
     
  9. GTP

    GTP New Member

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    I would think it would be worse if it was just guys....
     
  10. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    If she trusted you, she wouldn't have this problem. The problem could be:
    a) low self-esteem (doubt it if she's so angry)
    b) she is a cheater at heart, so she expects others to cheat on her with little temptation
    c) you've done something in the past to give her reason not to trust you
    d) she's not angry about the female and it's actually something else she's angry about and hasn't communicated properly

    It's normal to think about what your SO is doing when they are hanging out wtih others of the opposite sex, and maybe even worry here and there. But to get really, really angry? Something is missing in this story.
     
  11. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    In the past I have done a few shady things I regret (not cheating or anything, but some small lies :hs:) and I think that is why she lacks trust. So, although it was all awhile ago, I guess I see where she is coming from
     
  12. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Oh fuck :hsd:
     
  13. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    I'd probably want to meet the guys first, and get to know them, before I decided if I was ok with it or not. If any of them showed the slightest bit of interested in her, I'd probably not be ok with it.
     
  14. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    I feel the exact same way! But she has hung out with this girl several times, and has undoubtably seen there is no attraction on either one of our parts. The girl is just one of the guys.. But my girlfriend also comes from a different lifestyle where she doesn't have many male friends. Maybe she is just "old fashioned?"
     
  15. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Sounds like that's the problem right there. You can't handle living with her but you are going to let another female move in? I can see why she would be bothered by this..
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    damn I'm good :cool:
     
  17. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Well yea, but a random female friend isnt the same as a SO in any way, shape, or form.

    He would be giving up privacy and other things to have his SO more in, whereas the female is just another random roomate.
     
  18. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Agreed. Although I can see where she was coming from.
     
  19. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i would not be cool w. it if it was my gf and 1 guy or 2 guys etc...

    but 3 other dudes and 1 girl? plus she knows the girl???
     
  20. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    Are there any reasons other than finances why you dont want to move in with your GF? If not, why not ask your friends if she could move in with you. I mean, if you two are ready for that step, and if there is space in your particular room of the houe, why not have her share your room, and split the rent 5 ways?
     
  21. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    in for drama
     
  22. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    I'm pretty sure he has already stated he is not ready for that.
     
  23. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    Thats the only indication of why they cant live together that I saw. Did you see something different?
     
  24. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    I guess I should have mentioned we have lived together before for about 8 months, but perhaps we were young and we just got on each others nerves because it didn't quite work out and I had to move out. We were both kinda agitated but ended up working through it.
     
  25. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Yea, he said he couldn't handle it. I think the bottom line is if you are not ready, DO NOT let her pressure you into anything. If you aren't fully ready the relationship could turn sour like it did last time. You shouldn't feel obligated to let her move in with you just because she feels like she wants to. You also need to talk with her and tell her that you are not ready yet and want to take things slower.
     

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