How to show you're still interested..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by knucks, Jul 3, 2008.

  1. knucks

    knucks Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    18,512
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    734
    ..without giving a woman too much attention?

    I'm trying to sit on my high horse right and feel that she should call me if she is interested, and it's not worth my effort if she doesn't...but at the same time I don't want her to think I've lost all interest and want nothing to do with her..(that is if, she hasn't lost interest in me, and I don't know what to do?)
     
  2. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    AFAIK, you haven't done anything that would lead her to believe you have lost interest.

    Most likely she considers your interest in her to be HIGH.

    The issue here is her IL in you, not the other way around.

    You wanna spike her IL back up to where it was before? Take some other women on dates and make sure she finds out about it.
     
  3. knucks

    knucks Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    18,512
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    734
    Well I guess throughout the whole time of us seeing each other, she has never really been out there to say "Lets hang out/see each other/etc."

    That being said, whenever I have been home and have called her up we've hung out.

    We had a lot of plans last week, but they all fell through because her aunt passed away and she was dealing with that.

    But yes, it'd be great to spike her IL back to where it was..

    I am thinking about calling her up when I get back in-town tonight and see if she wants to go do something.
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    Don't call without a date plan.

    As the man, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to make the date plan, then call to invite her on the date.

    I don't care what all these women WILL SAY in rebuttal, the fact is they (women) want the man to make the choices and the decisions, ESPECIALLY early on.

    Why aren't you meeting other women and taking them on dates? You are a single man in the prime of his life! Why are you waiting around on her?

    The fact is, the type of man she would want to enter a romatic relationship with HAS OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE ATTRACTED TO HIM, and it is 100% NORMAL for him to take these other women on dates.

    You taking other women on dates will send all kinds of messages to her about you, and I can't recommend it more highly.

    You got "too close too soon" with her and now its cooled off. I only see two ways to get her IL up again:

    1. Date other women.

    AND/OR

    2. Cut off all contact with her for an EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME, then start over with her by making the date plan, inviting her on the date, doing the date, then NOT SEEING OR TALKING TO HER AGAIN FOR ONE WEEK EXCEPT FOR THE PURPOSES OF MAKING THE NEXT DATE.

    I've been preaching this stuff here for years and its proven to work and I'm always amazed at how so many guys think their girl is special and different and they can just give her all the attention and power early on without her losing interest.

    It doesn't work that way, and it never will.

    P.S. You may want to search for some of my old posts. I'm not as into this stuff as I was and a lot of what I posted in the past is way better than what you will get from me now.
     
  5. knucks

    knucks Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    18,512
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    734
    You make some great posts. I think I have one of yours from last week or the week before saved on my desktop :)

    As far as dating other women, it's rather hard at this point. I am not of age to go to bars and I don't really fancy clubs. If something comes about while I'm out running my errands, sure, but it's very rare.

    Parties are also somewhat rare as it's summer and I am living on a college campus..basically it's pretty empty here right now.

    I guess in essence I haven't really talked to her in, what I'd consider, a while.

    I'll think of something to do and give her a call tonight. thx bud.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't think that the basic content is stupid (insofar as you can call too much, come across as being desperate, etc), but I do think it can be and is over-analyzed by a lot of people. This can lead to worrying/obsessing, which will most likely cause the problem the guy is trying to avoid.
     
  7. knucks

    knucks Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    18,512
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    734
    Eh, she's busy tonight, but said that we should get together with weekend :dunno:
     
  8. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2006
    Messages:
    51,366
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    STL, MO/AAR, DK
    I wasn't sure if one week was an appropriate time frame-- thanks for the heads up
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    less is more
     
  10. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    i've found that my opinion of what works and what doesn't work is irrelevant with respect to my desired outcome
     
  11. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2001
    Messages:
    13,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lovely orlando
    :o yeah, i do.

    i don't believe in the "wait 2 days" or whatever it is crap.

    let's go out and have a good time. be straightfoward with me, and tell me if you like me or you don't.

    imo, life's too short to waste your time. :sad2:
     
  12. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,729
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Cities, MN
    Welcome to the dating life of the average woman.


    Yail has quality information in this thread. Understand it well.
     
  13. Original

    Original OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    33,811
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    God's Country
    i do a lot of those things and wouldn't necessarily call them "games" :dunno:

    i have a busy life and honestly don't wanna burden myself with having to call girls whenever i'm thinking of them. i don't call my guy friends to do the same stuff everyday, girls are no different.

    as long as there's variety who cares, live life, she either likes you or she doesn't :hs:

    all guys are different though.. there's qualities girls like in a guy and these "games" can help
     
  14. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,729
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Cities, MN
    From the man's perspective it isn't "games", it is a system.

    Not all men are naturals at meeting, raising interest levels, and attracting women. So they need a system to live by so they can tackle this area of their lives.

    Same goes for anything that is a learned skill in life. There are some that are naturals but most have to learn from a system so they can succeed.
     
  15. knucks

    knucks Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    18,512
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    734
    Looks like this girl can go FUCK HERSELF.
    Didn't call at all (I figured she wouldn't), so I went along with my own business.

    So anyways, something from Friday night that I feel doesn't deserve its own thread:

    I went out to a party Friday night and invited a female friend of mine to come along. We go way back to high school, so about 6yrs ago. There has always been some kind of sexual tension between us, off an on, but it never amounted to anything and we've gone our separate ways.

    Long story short I felt that we're both young and are just having some fun, so a little later in the night I just pulled her up to me and kissed her. She was kind of weirded out / quiet about it (probably a little lost as to what I did) but we ended up kissing throughout the rest of the night and then for about a half-hour in my car before I drove to drop her off. She was tentative and told me that she is on her period so she is just teasing herself. I said something along the lines of "That sucks." to which she replied "Yeah well it sucks for you too."

    Her last words when she left my car were "We'll talk soon."

    Now I don't want anything serious with her and I don't want things to be awkward, but I would like to see her again, just not so much on a date setting..
    How do I go about contact with her? I suck at life :(
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2008
  16. jonno

    jonno New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Messages:
    63,823
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    fort sam
    are you interested in this girl from HS or not? you kissed her.. (which makes me think you're interested) then you say you want to see her again but not take her on a 'date'.


    wat

    btw - i'm sure it won't be awkward between you two. shit like that happens all the time.
     
  17. knucks

    knucks Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    18,512
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    734
    well i want to see her but i don't want it to be in that kind of "formal" date setting..like if there is another party we both go to, great..
    im not making any sense am i?
     
  18. jonno

    jonno New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Messages:
    63,823
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    fort sam
    from what i'm getting.. you're not into her enough to be in an exclusive relationship but would like to workout some kind of friends with benefits type deal?
     
  19. knucks

    knucks Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    18,512
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    734
    I want some fun til school starts back up..so yes.
     
  20. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    why does her being on her period have to be a showstopper?

    you accepted her frame

    once again, forget what she says verbally

    listen to what she says PHYSICALLY

    verbally it was a red light, physically it was a green light

    even if she's on her period you could still have fun
     
  21. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    you did really well by initiating contact physically

    what you need to improve on is realizing that women will test you frequently in a variety of ways

    i see this as a test to see if you will remain in control of the situation, or will you give it to her

    you were only kissing

    that would have been an excellent opportunity for some ball-busting along the lines of "whoa, why would that even matter? what makes you think i'm that type of guy? frankly, i'm hurt and insulted by your insinuations"

    if you can say something like that while maintaining fun and charming body language, eye contact, and voice tone, you will go far
     
  22. knucks

    knucks Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Messages:
    18,512
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    734
    true true.
    granted it was 4:30am and she had work in the morning so timing was off, but i definitely know what you're saying
     
  23. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    Decide what you want, then make it happen.

    Its really that simple.

    She can make the choice to leave at any time.
     
  24. sapient

    sapient New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yail, you make me want to buy a sub just to search your posts.
     
  25. SHIFT_blue

    SHIFT_blue OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2004
    Messages:
    210
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    Many of his posts are in the archives under the best posts in the vag thread. Ive read most of them multiple times. Good stuff.
     

Share This Page