how to react when she's in a pissy mood?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by nerd9, Sep 30, 2007.

  1. nerd9

    nerd9 OT Supporter

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    long story short, my lady is annoyed about some recent developments in her life and has been venting to me about it all, which gets her riled up again.

    as a man, what is the best thing to be doing? i listened to her and dropped some gems of wisdom whenever appropriate but otherwise, just basically listened to everything she had to say.
     
  2. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    imo that's what you should do. don't offer solutions unless it's very clear that is what she is looking for.
     
  3. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    Agreed that you shouldn't try to fix the problem. She's probably doing a combination of venting to relieve stress and thinking out loud about solutions.

    Now, if you're tired of her constant pissy mood, baby her. Do something nice, even if it's just drawing a bath and putting on some candles. Say, I wish I could help you, but since I can't, I thought I'd love you instead.

    Whatever you do, don't make it seem like you're patronizing her.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You actually did the right thing in my opinion. As a woman I can tell you that almost always when we are upset about something we just want to be heard. One of my fav books is called "You Just Don't Understand" by a sociologist who studied how men and women differ when wanting to talk about things. It basically tells you that when women have a problem we like to talk about it...but don't necessarily need any kind of answer. Men are natural-born problem-solvers and like you did, try and help with an answer.

    The best thing you can do is listen to her, be compassionate, and honestly ask her "is there anything I can do?" When a woman knows or at least thinks a guy cares about what she is going through she's even more appreciative.
     
  5. nerd9

    nerd9 OT Supporter

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    i honestly think the vag has helped me a lot in altering my views on male/female dynamics.

    case in point: my natural reaction to "just listen" in this situation

    thanks for the advice everyone :bigthumb:
     
  6. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Sounds to me like you're doing everything just fine.

    Just keep listening to her and being there for her in the sense of support. I made the mistake early on in my last relationship of always analyzing and offering advice for my S/O's problems... Not a good idea, lol.

    I had to learn the hard way that with women, they just need someone to talk to... someone to vent to.... that's all it really is. Listening to them and offering support for their thoughts and decisions will make them very happy most of the time.
     
  7. Xtreme2k2

    Xtreme2k2 GTI Crew ಠ_ಠ OT Supporter

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    just dont be Mr. Fix it :hsughw:

    Sounds similar (or the same) to what "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" talks about.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2007
  8. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I find that taking her out to some place public, like a bar or a restaurant, and having a good time can help a lot. For one, it's hard to vent and be rude when you're around other folks, and getting out of the house is always a good thing.

    In short - go have fun.
     
  9. Vanilla Tarantino

    Vanilla Tarantino OT Supporter

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    I've had a lot of female friends say the same. They don't want solutions, they just want you to listen. I feel horribly, horribly awkward not saying anything in regards to how to resolve the situation, but it really isn't what they're looking for most of the time.
     
  10. Vanilla Tarantino

    Vanilla Tarantino OT Supporter

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    Bingo. Listen to her, then distract her to get her mind off of it.
     
  11. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    Dot.

    (and I love Deborah Tannen too!!)
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :eek3: You are even cooler in my book now :big grin:
     
  13. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    You already said it, listen, drop some gems... then (give her space) the space part is most important.
     
  14. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    +1 for what has been said by men and women alike. Men are fixers, women are bitchers. She just wants to get it off her chest, she doesn't want a solution from you.
     
  15. poonharpoon

    poonharpoon New Member

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    if she is mad first thing to do is this :run:
     
  16. e.pie

    e.pie Active Member

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    :werd: plus I try and take her mind off of it and get her thinking about other stuff outside of whatever her issue might be

    take her to walk around the mall or to a simple dinner somewhere, or give her a backrub, just be there for her :)
     
  17. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Yeah, I second the recommendation to not offer solutions unless she wants them.

    You're a guy, so when you have a problem, you try to think of ways to eliminate that problem. That's normal and logical.

    But chicks don't want solutions usually. They want to feel the emotions (even tho they're bad emotions like anger or annoyance) of the problem because that's how they live life. Chicks are nuts. But telling her how to solve her problems will probably just piss her off even tho it's the correct, obvious, and logical thing to do. After all, problems suck so why wouldn't you want to eliminate them? Well, you would, because you're a guy.

    Anyway, a girl venting to you about her problems is ok. A girl taking it out on you is definitely not ok. My ex had a problem differentiating between those two.
     

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