how to proceed with ex gf, she came out with us last night

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by quamen, May 8, 2007.

  1. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    One of my ex gfs im still madly in love with for some reason. She has been invited to join us for wing night for quite sometime now with my friends and I. She never ever goes,and yesterday she called my good friend and asked to go. We went and we had just some light conversation and some flirting. She has a bf, but for some reason i feel she truly likes me as well, but i dont know how to proceed. By the way she was flirting with me, and looking at me i got this feeling,but i dont know what to do. I was just thinking about keeping it simple and asking her directly if she was happy in her relationship, and i would like to take her out sometime? I really dont have a clue what to do, so any advice is well appreciated.

    The only thing that i got really upset about, is my good buddy was drinking as we all were,and brought up some of the other girls i have been with in a sexual way. She is not that type of girl to do things like that, so i dont know if that was a major turn off to her.
     
  2. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    She's not available.
     
  3. Kinematic9

    Kinematic9 You my caucasian?

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    My mantra has always been its an ex for a reason.. I was involved in a situation like this before.. An ex of mine came out with us one night, was doing the flirting thing at the bar, and all i did was ignore it. Whatd she do? Went after a friend, started hanging out with him behind my back, and apparantly just did it to try and make me jealous. Started a bunch of shit between this 'friend' and the rest of our group.. and all she ended up doing was leaving when she didnt get what she wanted.

    So ok, long drawn out story which may or may not parallel your situation.. but just beware, I am always wary around ex's due to the fact that you never know what they are after.

    I just keep it simple and keep ex's ex's. If you noticed, whenever you are with someone, they are always 'the best' you ever had.. If it ends, you always seem to find a better one.

    Dont chase this one
     
  4. .

    Also, she's an ex for a reason, are there that few women that you can't go find one of the other 3 billion?

    Come on man, grow some balls go out there and find another woman, stop pawing at the past.

    Beast
     
  5. fray

    fray New Member

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    Is this the same crazy one you've been trying to avoid, or do you just have a really really hard time getting past all of them?

    I agree with the above. She's not available. Let her go. Also, just because you felt like there was something between you two doesn't mean there really was. Maybe you were reading too much into it. Plus, obviously you guys were together before, so you're familiar with each other. That may have led to comfort and some flirting, but that doesn't really mean anything. Move on!
     
  6. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    thanks guys for the replies and no way is this the crazy one, i wouldnt touch that shit ever again. This girl i was with for a couple of years, and was truly in love with. I can see how you guys think about the situation,and even though i dont want to agree, i believe this stuff stated is best for both causes.
     
  7. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    If she really liked you, she would (1) dump her BF (2) hang out with you more often and (3) sleep with you.

    Right now you're just being a sucker, and are totally blowing your chance to meet a nice normal woman who actually likes you with no strings attached and who is also available.

    You're stuck on her because you feel like you only deserve women who are unavailable and don't give you what you need. Get over it. Get a healthy dose of self-respect and self-confidence and realize that if a woman is not honestly dedicated to you then she's not right for you.
     
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd:
     
  9. awdboost

    awdboost New Member

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    Right there you answer your own question. Don't ask her out. Okay lets see what's the possible outcomes of that.

    1. You ask her if she is happy in her relationship, she says yes. And you get all depressed.

    2. You ask her if she is happy in her relationship, she says no breaks up with her current bf. What makes you think that she won't do that to you.

    If she is single, and the break up wasn't over something bad then go right head and ask her out, but if she isn't single stay away.
     
  10. whamola

    whamola Tonight....you.

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    Dude, I know how you feel. I did the same shit at first. Gf broke up with me...a month or so later we start hanging out again, just like when we started dating. It started to get a lil bit serious again and then BAM shit went sour again.

    It's not worth the heartache and trouble because they can come and go as they please and you're the one that is in constant anxiety whether you're with them or not. If they aren't with you you wonder what you can do to get them back, and if they are you worry about what to do to not lose them. Then you start looking a little crazy, jealous, and possessive and lose them as a friend all together. (I caught myself before this part and worked shit out.)

    Best bet is to just let it pass, don't worry about trying to patch things up. Just let things happen as they will -- like it or not.
     
  11. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    You broke up the first time for a reason.

    That reason hasnt magically disappeared.
     
  12. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Well, I wouldn't recommend anything of the sort. I would keep a good distance away from my ex for a good amount of time before I could manage talking plainly with them.

    While having fights and going to rough times can in a way strengthen relationships, once it's over then it is over. In my experience going out with old ex's has only brough more problems. Especially when that someone is seeing someone else, you can really mess up peoples shit doing that. Then it's not just about what you want, it's about doing what's right "for the greater good"
     

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