SRS How to overcome reservedness?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by TopDawg, May 20, 2005.

  1. TopDawg

    TopDawg New Member

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    I really don't know how to describe myself, because the title really misrepresent what I believe to be my true personality. I am a very friendly person, but in a big group environment I get very reserved and soft spoken. I always assume this aloof and mature persona when everyone else clowns and fools around; yet when I am alone or with a few people I am familiar with I become very creative and garrulous. I can see almost my desire to be at the center of people attention, but amid big groups I just skulk away for the fear of embarrassment.
    I know this is attributed to my natural disposition, but I believe that it is harming my social life; and as I am now in college, I wish I can be more sociable and open. I know this sounds very general, but I hope you guys can point me to a right direction :hs:
     
  2. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    I can definitely relate to this. This pretty much describes me as well. Personally, I think people that attempt to be the center of attention in large groups of people have problems of their own that people like us do not see. They are basically attention whores who feel very insignificant if all the attention isn't focused on them.

    The thing I do to fight this is I attempt to pick out 1 or 2 people to have a conversation with in a larger group of people. Sometimes our conversation gets more interesting and more people join in. If it isn't as interesting, at least I don't feel as lonely. Sometimes, I'll jokingly pick on someone I know rather well and see if I can get others to join in. It's difficult, but it involves switching gears from serious mode to a light-hearted group mentality.

    The way I practice this is by hanging around with slightly larger groups of people each time. If you are with a few people you know very well, it helps, because then you can act stupid around each other and laugh about it. I'm still fighting the problem myself, so I hope this helps.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Let go of the brake, really you can be part of the group if you let go of all your inhibitions and just be who you are. Really other people aren't pretending, so why should you pretend? Try to make some good joke, laugh around, try to enjoy the group and situation you are in , try to drop things that are worthless, being embarresed all the time is useless, try to be emotionall contributional to the group.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You are very introverted. Introverted people become extraverted when around small groups of people they know and trust.
    Your self-description is a textbook reading of introversion vs. extraversion.

    You also sound intelligent, and may derive some insight from doing an mbti inventory and reading about yourself and your type's drives and preferences.

    Do a search on MBTI or myers-briggs typology. Dave Steel's got a link to some online test, but I can't remember the url. Anyways, just google it.

    The point where I would suggest further treatment or help is, if after reading about yourself and getting some insight into your strengths and limitations (we all have them), and you still find yourself limited in a way that is debilitating and keeping you from functioning normally in social situations, then it's time to see a therapist/pshrink.
     

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