How to move on & get game back? (8months after breakup...6yrs)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Athlete218, Oct 25, 2008.

  1. Athlete218

    Athlete218 New Member

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    I'm 25 years old....was w/ my ex 6 years (yes, a very long time for someone my age), found out she was cheating/seeing another dude b/c emails i found, we broke up. she was my best friend, we did everything together, i found her extremely attractive & the sex was easily the best i've had (we also lived together 5 of those years, so that made it more difficult). some of you may remember all this from a previous thread (we've been broken up 8 months now)...anyways,

    It is so hard for me to move on & forget about her...there is not a day that goes by that i don't think about her one way or another. i know that things could never work between us again b/c of everything that happened & i still cant move on. it's like every girl that comes to me, i have no interest in... i feel like no one compares to my ex in the fact that we had so much in common & got along & i found her so attractive (i like a specific girl...short, nice booty, pretty w/a clear face & prefer dark hair)..girls that aren't that i have no interest in/dont give them a chance. THEN if i see a girl that i'm attracted to or think i could potentially like, i freeze up & have NO GAME AT ALL (back when i was single, i used to have so much game & hooked up w/ tons & tons of girls)... I used to be really confident & borderline cocky/arrogant....now since me & my ex broke up, I feel depressed & just cant move on or can't talk to girls anymore...not to sound cocky, but i consider myself to be top 10% of guys in the looks department, but since the breakup i've felt depressed the past 8 or so months, i feel boring & have no game at all anymore. I go out to the bars on the weekends & have girls coming up to me, but w/ no game & the fact that hooking up w/ random girls isn't my thing anymore, nothing happens.

    at this point in my life, i'm not really looking for bar sluts or hooking up w/ random girls... i'd rather just be w/ a girl i really care about, am attracted to, get along w/, good sex , etc... basically the whole package of a good/healthy relationship.

    this is never going to happen if i can't get my ex off my mind & get my game back.

    sorry for the sloppy post, but im tired & just typed it up real fast.
     
  2. petite*belle

    petite*belle New Member

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    :hug:

    I honestly don't know cause I haven't been in that situation yet but I might be soon (going back and forth thinking about breaking up with the boy cause of his dishonesty in general too).

    How is your support group? Friends? Family? Is the whole, taking up new activities or sport not something you'd consider to make yourself busier and not have too much spare time to think about it?
     
  3. Athlete218

    Athlete218 New Member

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    ^^ well i work 40 hrs a week, am in the gym all the time, play basketball 2-3 times a week, go out to the bars w/ friends on weekends etc.

    even when i stay busy, she will always pop up in my mind a few times a day....

    also, i have had girls facebook me their phone numbers asking me out & a girl i dated when i was 16....went out w/ her one night & she keeps asking me out again, but i always just blow her & the others off....nothing feels right anymore & i dont know if i'll meet someone that will. this whole depression thing isn't helping me be more outgoing either...it's holding me back even more.

    there is this one girl i see (dont know her name), but i see a lot of potential in her ... just b/c im attracted to her & the times i have spoke w/ her she seems like a girl id go for (she works at a place i go to every now & then....a tanning place). w/ no game/lack of confidence b/c of this depression thing, i feel like talking to her would just make me look bad b/c i have no idea what to say anymore.
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    fwiw it took me a full 2 years to get my shit together after my 7 year relationship ended

    ymmv
     
  5. MissBangBang

    MissBangBang New Member

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    Its not a bad thing to think about her..thats normal. You do have a life, dont make her your life..

    I was seeing a guy for a while and it got reallly serious. It was long distance too, i sometimes didnt see him for a month. He was perfect, we fit great...but then i found out he was talking to other girls, and i think dating someone too.

    It broke me ...and i still think about him--shit i was ready to marry him.

    Strangly enough i keep telling myself all the horrible things he did to me, and he wasnt who i fell in love with. I fell in love with a lie, with something i thought was true..and it wasnt.

    So all i can say is...keep telling yourself and reminding yourself why you had to end it...it helps and it gets better. there will always be a hard time..
     
  6. Stealthy_C

    Stealthy_C my Vespa rocks.. ̔̕̚̕̚ ҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎ ̏̐̑̒ OT Supporter

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    Funny I just turned 25 & am in the same boat as you... My ex and I split for the same reasons as you after 6 years. That was 2 years ago, i haven't thought of her for over a year now. This line is exactly how I feel too...
    I just recently found a girl that was exactly what I was looking for. We went out & I froze...
     
  7. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    You might want to stop going after chicks who look like your ex gf. I know you're attracted to that, but it didn't exactly work out for you so why not have an open mind?
     
  8. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    try dating guys for a while and see if you like it
     
  9. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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  10. MissBangBang

    MissBangBang New Member

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    Big problem in your mind could be you think you NEED a girl to get ride of the thoughts of her. The moment you get that out of your head that you NEEd a girl, or a relationship the girls will flock.
     
  11. [-]

    [-] Guest

    dot, in general. It just makes you not look desperate, you'll talk to chicks and be a cocky shit and bla bla.
     
  12. RebootEnzo

    RebootEnzo New Member

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    You always have the most friendly advice.
     
  13. [-]

    [-] Guest

    PIECE OF ADVICE: You have good circumstances to do this, but PLEASE completely ignore her do not call her, take down all memorable stuff from her, do NOTHING like that. DO NOT TAKE CHEATING AS SOMETIHNG YOU DID WRONG. Go no contact, completely. Never take her back, ever.
     
  14. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    so you are a homophobe now? :ugh:
     
  15. MissBangBang

    MissBangBang New Member

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    He doesnt seem desperate...

    Just seems in his mind he NEEDS her back..

    Sadly you dont need anyone..when you do think you need someone is when you are competely helpless.
     
  16. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I have a thread here about moving on after a lost love. I need to get an update posted in there and finish it, but start reading some of it.
     

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