SRS How to move on and keep a friendship....

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by GaveUp, Dec 23, 2006.

  1. GaveUp

    GaveUp New Member

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    Yes, I know, everyone will say it's impossible. I just need some more insight.

    Ok situation: Me and girl who used to like me in highschool start to talk a year or so ago. Date for a few months and then stop things. She has a fear of commitment and doesn't want it. So we end up in this cycle where we will get really close and then she'll back away. Bad part about this is my feelings grew more and more each time, hopeful she will realize what she has in front of her. (wishfull eh?). I have pretty much become dependent on her. We recently went thru another cycle where she wants to back off and be friends (but hook up once and a while I assume). I finally snapped and told her I can't just be friends. She knows I am in love with her, but she never let herself get to that point. I tried to do the not talking to her thing, but we always float back together...

    Recently she went on a trip with her family to NM for 9 days. It has driven me crazy and I just started to realize how pathetic I am over a girl who doesn't want me how I want her. It's a weird relationship...it's like we are together and the actions she takes just show more than sex. We've talked about it and she says she has the potential to love me, but cant let herself at this time and age. Makes it even worse, we are really best friends.

    So after realizing how pathetic I am, I've decided I am going to put all the "I miss you's" away and just be her friend. Not show her the attention that a boyfriend would and just try to be friends. Not waiting for her to come around like I have before. I need to move on, but not lose my best friend...or at least let it fade away.

    :sadwavey:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    First of all, you can't be her friend until you are over her. And no matter how many times you convince yourself that you are I can tell it will be at least a few solid months of you not talking to her to actually get over her and move on. It will only be then that you can be friends.

    It is possible to be friends. I'm friends with almost all my ex's, 1 I loved and we are ridiculously fine just as friends. But this is only because I moved on and now realize he is truly better as a friend.

    Unrequited love sucks man, don't let her use you though cause that's basically what she's doing. Don't give her the benefit of the doubt, try to cut her out; that's when she'll realize what she's missing.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Its perfectly normal for a guy to be totally head over heels over a girl and in love. What you should understand is however that you can love someone but you can't 'own' a person. Its like sand, eventually everything will slip from your hand. So she chooses with whomever she wants to be. Your situation is called one sided love. Basically she is keeping you on her fishing line and can make advantage of you,maby not on purpose. But in the end of the day you have to be realistic, and ask yourself what do you got? You can't wait forever in your life, and you shouldn't wait for anyone in your life. If by now she hasn't made up her mind on you, then you should leave her. It might be the hardest thing to do, but you must REFUSE and jump out of that vicious circle that you are currently stuck in. Let go of the bait of her fishing hook and set yourself free.

    Most likely then after a while she will try to tempt you again, but unless she engages a fully commited relationship with you, i would try my luck with someone else.
     
  4. NotSoSmart

    NotSoSmart New Member

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    In on the exact same boat you are brudda. Waiting around for something that may or may not happen is just lame. I tell myself that everyday. But then everytime I see her, it makes my head spin and suddenly my mind is fighting my heart, and I can't see straight again, and all I want to do is be with her. So my plan is to not wait around...if she truly loves you back, I suppose she'll come back to you. Sometimes paitence is a virtue...go date other women, and enjoy it. Sometimes, doing so will make her realize how much she misses you and may finally take that extra step. But don't count on it....

    Anyways, good Luck to you because I know I'm going to have to make the same decision very soon here myself.
     

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