how to keep a womans attention?? lost of intrest is always quick

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by quamen, Feb 12, 2007.

  1. quamen

    quamen New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,503
    Likes Received:
    0
    I find my loss of attention by woman comes quickly after i meet them. I etiher end up getting cheated on or just played with. I realized i cant be to nice, my normal self because most girls will end up taking advantage of you and they want a challenge. But i still cant figure out why i cant hold a womans intrest. I think im kinda attractive and im able to sometimes use this to my advantage, but looks are not very important to most woman after they start to get to know you. After the intial contact/ date i always end up alone still.
     
  2. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

    Joined:
    May 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,501
    Likes Received:
    0
    So be a more interesting guy. What are your hobbies? How do you spend your free time? What are your goals for the next month / 6 months / year / 10 years? You gotta know this shit.
     
  3. fray

    fray New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    5,282
    Likes Received:
    0
    or date better girls....
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :werd: girls that cheat on you are just not good girls. No one should ever have the mindset that if they're even semi-attractive that'll take them a long way. Most people cheat because they're unhappy in their relationships, so unless you're a total bore (or just a fucking idiot) then these so-called girls that have left you were just not right for you. When you meet someone you truly connect with they appreciate you for who you are, you shouldnt have to go out of your way to impress them.
     
  5. jotti

    jotti New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2003
    Messages:
    3,227
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    world
    Always keep them guessing, make her kiss you, make her hug you, make her wait. Here's a simple recipe:
    Patience on your part = Impatience on hers
    Impatience = Anticipation
    Anticipation = She will want you more than you want her

    That is one way to keep the cat in the bag..

    If you give her everything you have to offer, what good are you to her, she has seen and experienced it all.

    Or spice things up..


    There are a million different ways, I only suggest the above with somebody you are not serious with.
     
  6. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    are these all online relationships? thats just what happens.
     
  7. quamen

    quamen New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,503
    Likes Received:
    0
    no they werent online relationships, girls i met in person.
     
  8. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2006
    Messages:
    14,201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta
    I agree this is probably most likely the issue here.

    You have to be a more interesting person to others. Get involved in things, seek out activities, etc. Take advantage of things to do. Not only would this have the advantage of benefitting you of enjoying yourself, but it inheritly creates a more 'fun' air around you which others take notice to.
     
  9. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
  10. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2006
    Messages:
    365
    Likes Received:
    0
    I doubt it has anything to do with hobbies. No matter how interesting his hobbies are, a girl will lose interest if he's Mr Nice Guy.

    When a girl says a guy is "boring", she's not talking about his hobbies. She's really saying he lacks backbone and spontenaiety.
     
  11. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2006
    Messages:
    14,201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta
    In short, don't be a doormat that says "Welcome."
     
  12. Nev

    Nev OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    25,457
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    SoCal
    Hopefully someone can comment on this for me, but I'm in a situation that I feel could be developing similarly right now.

    I met this girl 2 weeks ago, we have a lot and common and we instantly hit it off. We're basically in an exclusive dating situation now, and I'm starting to sense things dwindling just a tiny bit from her part. Granted, we have spent every single day together since we met, and I've been an idiot in some aspects by spoiling the shit out of her (not materialistically), but just how I've been treating her.

    Anyway, I'm basically the one that does all the calling, all the initiation of physical contact, etc. SHe did in the start, but it has dwindled. I'm pretty certain that she's at least still interested in me, but I have already decided today that I need to change some things in the situation.

    For starters, I'm not calling her today, and probably not going to call her tomorrow either. I'm hoping she calls me in that time, but if she doesn't...then i think that says enough in itself. I'm still doing something for her for valentines day, but I'm not giving that directly to her either. I'm going to have her roommate let me in while she's in class, arrange the stuff that I got for her on her bed, and leave.

    I've realized that I need to start showing her that there is more to my life than her. Though it's hard bc I do love spending time with her, this will either work or fail miserably...and if it does the latter then it wasn't meant to be anyway.

    :dunno:
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    Spending all your time with her will usually lower her interest level, as will catering to her needs (putting her on a pedestal).

    Excellent. You shouldn't always be available to her, and if she's highly interested, she will call you.

    not a big fan of this, but I doubt I can talk you out of it

    That's an excellent attitude to have. Make her earn your attention and time, don't just give it to her for nothing.
     
  14. Nev

    Nev OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    25,457
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    SoCal
    I'm not doing anything extravagent, but we're basically bf/gf so I would really like to do 'something'. I'm only planning on card+a few chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of her fave wine (which is NOT expensive). With the possibility of a dinner.

    I dont' know how huge of a fan of it I am either, but I like to surprise girls, and without going over the top, it was the best thing I could think of right now.

    If we work and she likes, go me. If not, then I'm out a minimal amount of money putting effort into something I want :dunno:
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    I can dig it. I'm sure she'll like it. She will know that you were thinking of her, that's for sure.

    Try not to get too sappy with the card.
     
  16. Nev

    Nev OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    25,457
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    SoCal
    I'm not. I might not even get one if I can't find one that's not all sappy and all "I love you". Because I don't love her :dunno:
     
  17. quamen

    quamen New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    1,503
    Likes Received:
    0
    right on the moeny


    I believe your right on the money and i realize this about myself. But im just naturaly a nice guy to my friends, girls and it doesnt matter if there cute or ugly,but i realize that isnt going to work. But how can someone keep a image that isnt truely them or an attitude that i should. Im am sick of getting walked all over,and it is time to change.
     
  18. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    Keep your power for yourself.

    That's all you need to know.

    When you feel the need to do something solely to keep a woman happy, you need to examine where those feelings are coming from. Why is it that you feel you aren't enough for her?

    So what if she becomes upset or angry. Let her throw a tantrum. It worked when she was 2, but its not going to work with you. Call her on her bullshit, instead of accepting it at face value like you do now.

    When a woman does something fucked up that you don't like, verbalize what she is doing. Calmly state what it is that she is doing and let her know what your opinion of it is.

    Women are just like children in how they constantly test the boundaries to see what they can get away with.
     
  19. Nev

    Nev OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    25,457
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    SoCal
    Do you recommend me asking this girl wtf is up, why i have to initiate everything (talking, touching, kissing, etc). I don't want to make a huge mistake already, but it's getting fucking old fast.

    I could be overanalyzing the situation .. or I could not be.

    I think I'm going to bring something up in the next few days because I'd much rather just be nothing or friends rather than have to deal with bullshit that annoys and bothers me.
     
  20. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    I recommend that you never again ask a woman wtf is up. Its never a good idea, and the chances of you getting an honest answer from her are very low.

    And you never need to ask her if something is wrong, because her actions will tell you everything you need to know.

    Women just don't respond to direct questioning like that. If you ask her whats wrong, all you are going to get is a reply of "Nothing" and more sulking from her. How does this help you?

    This is an excellent chance for you to develop some patience by laying back and playing it cool.

    From my personal experience, I can tell you that these type of talks will not help your cause, but you do run the risk of lowering her interest in the process. You would be putting yourself in a lose/lose situation.

    Don't do it!
     
  21. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    There's no such thing as being "basically" bf/gf. You either agreed that you are exclusive or you didn't. Don't ever assume that you're the only one she wants to date.
     
  22. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    Please don't take anything I say in a negative manner...I have gone through this/go through it....and have huge issues with all things social
    that being said
    I keep seeing the same types of questions from you....and you are always focusing on getting women to like you.
    I do not think any combination of capitals or italics will alow me to express this clearly enough...you have GOT to work on being happy with yourself. Period. If you dont think you are interesting, no one else will. If you don't feel confident, no one will see you that way. Getting girls to like you is fucking great self esteem booster, but not the only one. Develop some interests...and indulge them. Go out with friends. Make new friends...they will introduce you to new girls. You will do fine once you are comfortable in your own skin.
     
  23. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    :werd: I keep saying that in his threads but he just doesn't get it.
     
  24. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2004
    Messages:
    8,258
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UC Santa Cruz
    Sort of the same thing happens to me, but only with nice girls. They are way into me calling and they make the first move etc.. but after like 2 dates they lose interest.. THIS ONLY HAPPENS WITH the "good" or better girls, girls that have a good blend of brains and beauty. this has really only happened like twice. I always seem to keep the attention of girls that aren't good for me. the "bad" girls. I'm getting to the point in my life where I'd love to have a long term relationship and I'm ready for one, but the girls that I normally attract just aren't that type of girl.
     
  25. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    QFMFT
     

Share This Page