My wife and I have been having what's technically described as a "low sex marriage" (less than once every one to three months) for the past few years. Before we were married, she always seemed to have or get ideas on things to do in bed... or elsewhere and seemed to have a great sex drive. After we were married, it went downhill a little (as to be expected), then after the birth of our son (and because of some issues she and I had around that time), it sunk to an all time low, both intimacy and sex. I'm one of a few guys who likes foreplay along with intercourse. Anymore, it seems our sex (when we have it) is routine. She does nothing new, has no new ideas and doesn't seem open to any new ideas. One of the things that has suffered a lot is oral sex, which I enjoy. She still likes it when I do it to her, and I love doing it, but she reciprocates once in a very blue moon. Within the past 1-2 years it has been nothing. Not too long ago, she divulged a deep dark secret to me. When she was little, around 10 or so, she was playing at a friend's house. Her friend went upstairs to get a game. While her friend was gone, her friend's dad came out of the shower and approached her, exposed himself and asked her if she wanted to suck on it. Told her it tasted like a "tootsie pop". That's all she remembers if the incident and can't tell me what, if anything happened after that point, she thinks that maybe she has mentally blocked it. She wanted to tell me that so that I could understand her issue with doing that. I haven't told anybody about it per her request. She had a hard time telling me as she's never told anybody else. Her words were "how do you tell someone something when you yourself have never spoken the words?". I can understand how that would affect her, but don't understand why she seemed fine with it before, and then over the years it seemed to affect her more and more. I'm thinking it may even be affecting her sex drive to some point, but she won't admit to it. I want to help her confront and deal with that memory. Not just for me of course, but to help her and us. Her lack of intimacy and sex drive are starting to have an affect on our marriage, at least from my point of view. I would like to get some advice from people who have been through, contfonted or somehow have been involved with a situation like this and overcome it so that I can help her, and us. As a side note, this person was her neighbor growing up. He still lives in the same house and we were up visiting her father over thanksgiving. I was outside having a smoke and the guy she said did that was outside taking his dog out into his yard. It took every ounce of restraint I could muster to prevent me from going over and confronting (and more than likely injuring) the guy. To me, it seems that she never wants to talk about it, or that she thinks that she's said all she has to say about it. I want to help her confront and positively deal with it. We've been through a really rough patch this past summer and were in the crosshairs of getting a divorce because of some stupid things on both sides. We've since worked the majority of problems out and are now to the point of confronting and dealing with our intimacy and sex issues (I'm higher demand, she's little to none demand... in this day and age anyway). Thoughts? Advice?