How to handle this?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Nov 14, 2009.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Emily and I have lived here for 1.5 years.

    Today, Emily's dad and her dad's wife are coming in from Europe to stay at our place for a week.

    I'm cleaning up the place so that it's as nice as possible. I want Emily's dad to see that we've actually made a home together.

    I'm already nervous/excited for her dad to come and to show him what we're up to and so on.

    And then this shit happens. At 7 a.m., THIS MORNING, somebody, having a dispute, was shot and KILLED outside our apartment.

    Obviously, we have to move to a better neighborhood, leaving all of this behind. Sad. We've put a lot of work into the place.

    WHY TODAY?

    :rofl: :wtc:

    Emily's dad... o m f g.

    Any idea how I can break this to the dad and dad's wife? I will obviously tell them the truth...... but how???? :run::run::run::run:

    EDIT:

    FYI: They will ask about it because the police will still be there with a crime scene in progress when they arrive.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2009
  2. Devil

    Devil I have become my terror. OT Supporter

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    just...don't tell them and hope everything is cleared up by the time they arrive?
     
  3. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    it's nyc. shit happens. i would just mention that there's been some recent activity that is making you guys think twice about where you're living, and that you're looking into the possibility of moving to a safer area.

    i'd stress that you've felt generally safe living there, and you still do, but the time has come.

    do you feel safe?
     
  4. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    thanks that's well thought of you, um, yeah, that makes sense...

    they will ask about it because they'll see the crime scene.

    i do feel safe. despite this being 1 block away from my doorstep, it was not a random mugging or random at all. it was two guys who knew each other. one of them happened to be an animal :dunno:
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Funny that it would happen near us for the first time on this particular morning.

    It's just that.

    I am the New Yorker.

    Her dad comes in and finds that I - the native to this city - have brought his "little one" to a dangerous neighborhood where people are actively killing each other.
     
  6. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    Unfortunately violence isn't something you can control, it happens everywhere. I'm sure as a foreigner (meaning with no disrespect) he'll understand random acts of violence.

    Express yourself honestly and let him know it's not a common occurrence. Stuff like this doesn't happen often, especially in your neighborhood.
     
  7. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    emphasize this.


    if they are rational people, they will be understanding.
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Agreed. I think they will be rational. They are rational about almost everything.

    Emily's dad bought her a pole for her pole dancing :)

    So... he's not what you might call a backwards-minded troglodyte.

    There's a risk that - because it's his beautiful daughter - rational thought might be obstructed by his gut emotional reaction. But hopefully I am fit enough as a communicator to avoid that happening.
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Thanks for the advice. Me calm = him calm.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2009
  10. untoastytoast

    untoastytoast The Glory Days

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    so basically.... instead of thinking about the fact that another human being was killed and the implications of that on their loved ones, you're worried about how it affects you? that's some self-centered shit
     
  11. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I hear you. The cops have been out to my apartment twice in the past week because the neighbors upstairs keep getting into fights in our hallway.

    And my neighborhood isn't even all that ghetto. We just have a couple of junkies living upstairs that for some reason the landlord won't fucking evict and get it over with, despite millions of complaints.
     
  12. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :ughj:
     
  13. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    I'm positive that you are.


    Aww JJJ and Emily! :( That SUCKS.

    By all accounts though, Emily's dad seems like a pretty straight shooter so your only option is honesty (of course) though I think if you are able to show him that you already have the situation under control (which is to say, making sure Emily is safe, your decision to find a new home, any extra precautions..) and you're confident in your ability to carry out these plans out- then hell, I don't believe that he'll be all that concerned about it.

    Like you said, You calm = him calm. If you prove to him that he can be confident in your ability to take care of his daughter then I don't think you have anything to worry about.

    GOOD LUCK AND BE SAFE!!



    Oh, and update when you can!
     
  14. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    awww dude, thats awful. :hug: on account of the timing its also slightly funny, but mostly awful.

    dunno what to say but "good luck".

    BTW: did i mention im looking for roomies? :rofl: safe hood, reasonably priced!
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yikes!

    Where around Manhattan do you guys live??
     
  16. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    He's a foreigner... just lie and tell him that drawing a person's outline on the sidewalk in chalk is a tradition here just like making snow angels. Offer to have him lie down next to it and draw his outline there too so he can feel like he's part of the American ritual....

    Just make sure he doesn't decide he wants to draw YOUR outline on the sidewalk. That would be bad.

    :noes:
     
  17. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    I was staying in a hostel in Manhattan a couple of months ago and someone said there was a guy lying on the sidewalk across the street who "didn't look like he was getting up" and then an ambulance came and threw them in the back.

    shortly afterwards I noticed someone had hosed the sidewalk down :noes:


    seemed like a safe enough neighbourhood though :rofl:
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    FYI this was a total anticlimax. :)

    Thanks for the good thoughts, LP.

    The scene was cleaned up before they arrived.

    Emily will break the news to them at some point but I don't think it will be a huge deal. A dispute led to a death.

    This is why I don't get in arguments with people around here.
     
  19. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    ah no you didn't mention. good luck :) think we will be staying after all. got more details from the cops about it and the killing was not random.

    maybe we can still take 50 dollars off the rent though :rofl:

    agreed on the humor. i was flipping out a bit, but at the same time i was thinking, "this timing is absurd to the point of being funny."
     
  20. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Of course!

    Glad everything was all cleaned up and taken care of before Emily's dad and his wife arrived!!

    Enjoy the visit :big grin:
     

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