SRS How to handle this girl - advice ?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by IspitHotFire, Oct 28, 2005.

  1. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    About 1.5 weeks ago I met this amazing girl - we clicked instantly, have hung out every day since. She is amazing.


    We kind of took it too fast early on, as in we both got kind of horny and we hooked up the 3rd day we'd known each other - no sex . The next day we both agreed to take it slower.

    Flash forward to 2 days ago - we wakeup at like 9am right when my roomate leaves and i ask whats up and she says she wants to kiss me..... so we start kissing....... my hands move down south eventually and I do what I do best with them and it drives her crazy. I stopped and she said we should stop, im like ok. She then tells me that it was amazing though :cool:

    We aren't "together". I talked to her about it last night and she told me the whole "its too soon" because I guess her and her ex bf really officially didn't breakup, but said lets keep our options open - she called him a few days ago and i guess he started crying when she said she was seeing other people :wtc:

    I'm not an agressive type of guy. I would really really love to date/be with this girl. I'm just wondering what I can and can't do that would go over the line of being too aggressive - because I don't want to rush things at all. I'm not her boyfriend.... yet. On the other hand i don't want to play it so soft that she gets the wrong idea.

    I've just never been in this situation before. :noes:
     
  2. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    sounds like you're doing good so far and she just wanted to officially end it with her b/f before doing anymore with you. Whatever you're doing now seems to be fine.
     
  3. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Me, personally? I'd tell her to dump the boyfriend and then give you a call. She probably has no intention of dumping him. He's spending lots of effort on her keeping her happy, and so are you, and you are both suckers.

    So my advice would be to make a move to make it official, and if she declines then walk her out. Seriously. Otherwise, guess what's going to happen to YOU in 6 months when she finds ANOTHER guy to fool around with? You'll be the "ex" she hasn't quite broken up with.

    Honestly, I would not even get involved with a woman like this. She is an attention whore, manipulative, and self centered. If she cared anything about you OR him she'd make a move to one side or the other, but instead she is leading you both on.

    If you do stick with her, do yourself a favor - don't spend any cash on her. Let her know you only pay for your GF's, not women who are involved with another man.
     
  4. Fred91GTA

    Fred91GTA New Member

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    Yeah dude, I can't agree with the above more. You're both suckers. Save yourself the time and emotional turmoil. It may feel good now, but that bag of "Oh shit" will come at you sooner or later. You can tell a lot by how a girl treats people she knows. That's not cool what she's doing to her bf. I went out with a girl who was very similar to what you descibed above, and honestly, she fucked me up bad when the relationship finally ended. I was blinded by emotions and I let them take over the better part of my judgement. Don't make the same mistake. Don't be one of her suckers.
     
  5. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Don't be such a worry wart. You are not going to chase this girl off by making moves on her unless you continue even though she says no. You will be more likely to chase this girl away by holding back all of the time. She really wants to do stuff with you but she is kind of going along with you and your hesitancy. How long will that last? Plus, girls don't want to come across as slutty, so that might be a reason for them to say "slow down" even though they really want to get it on. I say, test the waters of what you can do. Don't overly respect the two of yurs decision to "go slow" because likely she really doesn't want to go slow.
     
  6. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    last night we went to my friends beach house with a few other friends - it was pretty fun. We spent a lot of alone time together, it was good. She was sad because for the first time in ~1week we wouldn't be able to sleep together in the same bed, my friends parents are conservative :ugh2:. So we just ended up text messaging each other for an hour while everyone else was sleeping.

    Then when we got back, after we wokeup at 4ish we started messing around with my roomate in the room... lol... i drive her crazy she said...
     
  7. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    wow, cool. She comes up to my room tonite, we start making out..... then she says she has to go get drunk and she has something to tell me. after 15 minutes I dig it out of her - its too soon for her to be getting in another relationship just 2 weeks after breaking up with her ex. She said she still likes me but we both agreed she doesnt act herself around me because its all gone too fast.

    so im sitting here, there is a girl who lives on my floor (other side), we both like each other but she needs time . okay, I can take that. And then there's a girl 2 floors below me who I went out with for a year and cheated on me, and still has feelings for me.

    I think im about ready to go back to my highschool attitude of not giving a fuck about any girls. This is stupid. oh well.
     
  8. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    wow, once again OT was almost 100% right. Honestly I never thought I could sit here and say hey I typed out my situation to a bunch of *strangers* on the internet and they were 100% on the money about every situation... but I am.

    It feels so weird. Part of me is wondering if I shouldn't entrust OT with all descisions in my life seeing as they are 100% right about this type of shit...
     
  9. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    make check payable to "Cash". address it to...

    :bigthumb:

    actually, while OT can and is full of asshats, the collective experience for this place is actually quite high.

    you will also obviously get a multitude of experiences and opinions offered - as various people are in various stages of dealing with similar things.

    we all are unique, yet very much the same in so many ways when you boil it all down.

    while many people go to college, and hope to meet their "life mate" - many others never do.

    Don't put such a heavy emphasis on whether the next one is the one. I personally am a heavy analyzer - thinking way too much.

    At this time in your life - you don't have to be a toolbox, or jerk in not caring for woman - but you probably do need to loosen up, and take it all in stride. If something great happens - great.

    if not, you're there to learn - and not just for a degree. couple of final thoughts - nothing inherently wrong with being a manwhore if you go down that route - but do so with class and dignity - don't lead the ladies on. And wrap it.

    A one night stand can be awesome (depending on your mental/emotional health) but no sense in letting it impact you physically for the rest of your life.

    as for the one that cheated on you. if you can bear to keep her in your circle of life - no harm in doing so. you may find that what you had in commmon will turn into a friendship (yes one can get past cheating).

    as for the other one. I wouldn't invest too much emotional capitol with her. keep it light, and fun. make a move if you want, but regardless of the outcome, don't sweat it.
     
  10. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Next time don't back down. Seal the deal. She would've gone for it buddy.
    She just didn't want seem like a complete slut (in her mind) so she could only go 90% of the way, and offered that token resistance at the very end.

    She did that several times, probably hoping you would just finish the job, but you backed down each time, mistaking her token 'no' for an actual no.

    Or do you think you two really slept in the same beds multiple times, she was sad about having to sleep in separate beds, you two were messing around, and taking it .....alllllmost.....there. and that she wasn't really into it?

    She just wanted to play around, nothing serious. If you're 'messing around' with her again, make that final move. I bet she won't say no this time.
     
  11. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    All I can say is to remember what you learned here. Apply it to the future. This is what life is all about.

    Good luck!
     
  12. Spirito

    Spirito New Member

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    Be sure that she got rid of her ex-Bf first !
     
  13. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    Update: short update but the night after she said i wasnt her type, we had sex, then the next day and night.... and now she wants to go towards a relationship as it seems she has fallen for me or something...

    Im just going to play it as it goes and not get so emotionally attatched so if things go bad which im sure they will i wont be wrecked...
     
  14. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    how does one sign up for this "not being her type" ? :mamoru:

    good for you, and try to maintain what you typed out to be as a healthy reaction.

    she likely herself doesn't know what she wants, which makes it difficult for her to be completely open and honest. enjoy the ride. before you know it, you'll be staring a few years away at 40, be married, mortgaged, living in the suburbs and raising a couple of kids...
     
  15. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    This is why you never ask a girl what her type of guy is, because she doesn't really know. A guy completely opposite of what she says can attract her, and probably has!
     
  16. Budha

    Budha Guest

    yeah if she is gonn abe like that, say you guys mess around and then she's like well I dont want to get in a relatinship blah blah... Each of you need to have a few drinks, she'll be loosened up, and ready to fuck. Just have a one night stand man. And no I dont mean by having a few drinks where she has no idea what she's doing (rape), it will just make her ease up some.
     
  17. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    I've already fucked her 3 times since I made this post :hsd:
     
  18. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    true enough. I was actually referring to whether or not she wanted to be more than FWB, a relationship, etc.

    hell, I've been with girls that "didn't want" to fuck, or so they said. Didn't stop them from climbing on top of me and riding the meat puppet though.

    :dunno:
     
  19. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    This is why I say a hundred times that you can't listen to what they "say". If you try to always make sense out of what a woman "says" then you are likely to get confused. Her "actions" are what is true to her. If the actions are in line with her words then she probably knows what she wants. If her actions and words don't align then you are likely to get confused until your forget what she is saying and look at what she is doing. That's where the truth is.
     
  20. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Like I said earlier, you just needed to move ahead and seal the deal.
    She wanted it. You just had to make the final move. It was pretty clear...
     
  21. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    find one (when you're ready) that has her words aligned with her actions, and don't let her go.

    very happy that my wife of 10 years is not the whacko that it seems that most people find themselves with.
     
  22. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Me too. My girlfriend offers no contradictions or confusion. It's great!
     

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