How To Get The Ultimate Beach Body By Spring Break

Discussion in 'Fitness & Nutrition' started by spiff, Mar 21, 2007.

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  1. spiff

    spiff Food Douche and Intercloud Mechanic

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    It's too late. No matter what Muscle and Fitness, Men's Health, Playboy, or Highlights magazine tells you, you are not going to attain a drastic body composition overhaul in a month. If you're okay with that, keep reading. If not, please leave the forum now, and don't come back.

    ...Still here? Here are some things to remember:

    1.) Trust me, every question you can think of has been asked/answered before. Read the stickies and the archives before asking *anything*.
    2.) Questions about exercises? www.exrx.net, and read the stickies.
    3.) Questions about diet? Read the stickies.
    4.) Questions about supplementation? Get your diet and workout in check for a month or two first, track your calories (www.fitday.com) and your workouts... then read the stickies.
    5.) We're not going to design a custom routine for you. Read the stickies.
    6.) You're no different than anyone else. There is not some magical secret we will grant in your first thread. The basics work for everyone - with hard work and dedication, they will work for you. Read the stickies.

    The first and most important thing is dedication. You can start proving that you're dedicated by researching and reading for yourself - people here took the trouble to put it together for you - fucking make use of it. If you follow the general plans laid out in the archives (and don't forget the stickies), you WILL change your body - for the better.

    But it won't happen in a month. If your goal is to make some brief change for a month or less just to impress girls/guys/porpoises at the beach, don't bother asking questions, posting a thread, or anything else - get the hell out of this forum. Go home, buy a slurpee and a cheeseburger at 7-11, and pick up an issue of Variety. They'll probably have some "weight loss plan in 20 days" that you can try.

    Oh, and in case I didn't mention... read the stickies. :squint:
    Welcome to OTF&N.
     
  2. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    stfu n00b :fawk:
     
  3. carlo2343

    carlo2343 New Member

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    Join Date: Jan 2007
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    :nuts:
     
  4. spiff

    spiff Food Douche and Intercloud Mechanic

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    Shit guys. Good point. I suppose my join date and my number of posts means I have nothing to contribute. I also suppose it means that I wasn't a member of this board back during the days of Arch, Filmboy, bla bla bla. Or that I haven't been lurking just as long.

    Join date != helpfulitude

    I SO CRAZY
     
  5. Ceaze

    Ceaze https://hearthis.at/DoYouEvenUplift Moderator

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    Under what username?
     
  6. spiff

    spiff Food Douche and Intercloud Mechanic

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    I believe it was mrspiff back in the day. You're an intelligent guy, Ceaze - why does that matter?
     
  7. Ceaze

    Ceaze https://hearthis.at/DoYouEvenUplift Moderator

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    i didn't say it did matter
     
  8. spiff

    spiff Food Douche and Intercloud Mechanic

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    GOOD!

    ...just checking. :joshers:

    Anyhoo - I should have expected people to focus on my join date and not the content of my post, this is F&N after all. Oh well.

    I have to go do the 300 workout now, it's almost time for Padre and mojitos. Brad Pitt body, here I come!
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2007
  9. Memor

    Memor Active Member

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    i support this thread
     
  10. cavefish

    cavefish You ain't a crook son, you just a shook one

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    Hey faggots, this is actually a decent post although I came in here expecting a trainwreck.
     
  11. RalphL

    RalphL Active Member

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    i came in here expecting a thread asking how to get a six pack in a week.
     
  12. spiff

    spiff Food Douche and Intercloud Mechanic

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    Walk to neighborhood Kwik-E-Mart. Locate beer fridge. Select six pack of your choice.

    Staple to stomach.

    Harvest bitches.
     
  13. irKevLar

    irKevLar New Member

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    by spring break 2008?
     
  14. benny196

    benny196 New Member

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    In canada regular stores can't sell booze :wtc:
     
  15. KingGargantuan

    KingGargantuan ♖♘♗♕♔♗♘♖

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    spring break is over
     
  16. crucialkc

    crucialkc the earth is flat

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    plz sticky
     
  17. Hood Moses

    Hood Moses I part the Black Seas...

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    Not me :wiggle:



    :beer:
     
  18. DatacomGuy

    DatacomGuy is moving to Canada

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    True that.
     
  19. nitak

    nitak New Member

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    what about muscle memory.
     
  20. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    hey how do i get an 8-pac? i need it done by next week
     
  21. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    get it silk screened on.
     
  22. MP18

    MP18 New Member

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    actually, you can lose a lot of weight in a month, a significant portion of it being fat too

    - the velocity diet
    - rapid fat loss handbook by lyle mcdonald
    - the guys from 300 only needed 6 weeks to look like that

    of course this assumes you have the resources available to do these programs and for the last one unlimited time to train throughout the day
     
  23. deznutz

    deznutz New Member

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    :hs: too late, spring break is over for me....






    :rofl:
     
  24. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    maor info....
     
  25. Zaffir

    Zaffir OT Supporter

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    But where were they starting from?
     
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