SRS How to end it?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Phat_J, Oct 2, 2007.

  1. Phat_J

    Phat_J OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2006
    Messages:
    2,895
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    H-town, TX
    Backstory: Met this girl that lives about 3 1/2 hours away from me. We have been out together a few times. I drove to her place for the weekend, and she came to mine a couple times. She wants me to go see her in a couple weeks for her birthday and I said sure but I really dont want to. I feel like she thinks we are in a real relationship, but this long distance stuff is not working for me, especially since she is not 'great' in my book.

    So question is should I go up there, and stop it then? Do I make up some excuse to not go then tell her the long distance thing wont work? I am terrible at "break ups" even though in my mind we arent really together. I hate feeling like I am the asshole in the situation. Suggestions?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    This situation is alwasy tricky, but it is relatively easy to finish honestly. You have the world's best excuse to break up-long distance. Tell her you just don't want to be in a long distance relationship because it's just too hard. It's up to you if you want to ease the pain by telling her that she is great but you just don't want that kind of commitment right now. The easiest part about this is it can be over the phone (because of said distance and since you aren't that serious anyhow).

    Do it soon though. The longer you wait the harder it gets to do it.
     
  3. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2007
    Messages:
    5,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Providence, RI
    The only trick to this is.. What if she hears those words and thinks you really think something of her? What if she's willing to move closer? Be careful with what you say bro!
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Doubtful when their relationship is so new...but even if that was the case he would just have to be upfront and say no.
     
  5. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

    Joined:
    May 30, 2007
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    FL
    Don't go for her birthday if you're going to end it with her. Do it over the phone before then. If you go and do it there, you ruin her birthday. If you don't go, wait and do it after, she'll be sad on her birthday cause you're not there. Call her soon and tell her that the distance is just to hard.

    Don't make up an excuse and don't go to her birthday if you're going to dump her. Be honest. I'd do it as soon as possible. Tell her it's just too complicated since you two are so far apart and you're sorry to tell her over the phone but you didn't want to do it in person right after her birthday and you didn't want to wait or lead her on. It will hurt but you get credit for being honest and upfront.
     
  6. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest



    :werd:!!
     
  7. jones21

    jones21 Uranium Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2007
    Messages:
    2,967
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chelsea
    tell her now so you don't have to waste gas. It's no big deal. She'd have to be pretty dumb to get really offended
     
  8. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2006
    Messages:
    5,363
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Slaughter House
    You're on the assumption that you believe she might think you two are in a relationship. She might of asked you to go to her birthday as a friendly gesture, and not as someone that she's in a relationship with.

    If someone I hung out with called me up and was like, "I don't want a long-distance relationship with you" and I only thought we were friends, I'd be like, "WTF are you talking about?"

    So, call her, talk to her, and find out if she does think you two are in a relationship. And if she does, tell her straight-out that you don't want to be in a relationship with her and that being friends right now is just something that you want.
     
  9. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2007
    Messages:
    5,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Providence, RI
    :mamoru:Imagine hearing that? Haha

     
  10. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2006
    Messages:
    5,363
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Slaughter House

    ... honestly ... maybe she just thinks that they're both just friends. More like :wtf:.

    *shrug*

    Let us know how it goes PhatJ.
     
  11. wetwillie

    wetwillie New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Messages:
    385
    Likes Received:
    0
    :werd:
    Then if she does NOT think you're in a relationship and you want to go, go for it. If not, don't.

    Thing is, you can still have fun with this girl even if you aren't in a LDR. Just be honest about how you see things. Being honest also includes not leaving things out. Like they say in court, "The truth, the WHOLE truth, and nothing but the truth." Don't lead her on but obviously don't jump to conclusions either.

    She may just be using you to get laid and doesn't have any real desire to be with you. I know....that's hard to belive but tis entirely possible.
     
  12. Phat_J

    Phat_J OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2006
    Messages:
    2,895
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    H-town, TX
    UPDATE:
    I call this girl tonight and make up some reason about schoolwork and not being able to come up for the weekend. Long story short she starts crying so I get off the phone quicklike. I felt like a big dick, but it had to be done. Any suggestions on what to do from here on out? I plan on just not calling her since I go to work in almost a week and will be out of the country for 2 weeks. I figure by the time I get back she will have given up on me. Otherwise if she calls me I will probably tell her the long distance thing doesn't work well with me. I have not been in many relationships at all so this stuff is wierd to me.
     

Share This Page