SRS How to deal with stress...?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by 4W4K3, Jun 1, 2005.

  1. 4W4K3

    4W4K3 New Member

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    This summer is really getting to me, here's a list of what's going on...

    1.Drivers ED, getting car
    2.summer school, then going to a NEW school when it starts up again
    3.I'm moving into 2 new houses (lease first, then when other is finished getting built into that one)
    4. vacation to michigan
    5. i jsut found out today i will be going through a few surgeries (don't ask) and that might take some healing time
    6. i'm trying to keep a 2 year relationship alive, its going well, but lately i have been indifferent to her, and just overloaded with all this crap.
    7. i'll be getting my first job ever
    8. i'm supposed to be moving out after this school year, on my own.

    I don't see how any of this is gonna happen! With surgery, i will be missing drivers ed alot. With moving into 2 new houses how will we get vacation done? how will i keep a job with summer school drivers ed, surgery, moving, and supposedly vacation? and how will i EVER get out of the house and moved out on my own!?!? i've got no money and no time, and i still dont have a car.

    i jsut need some ideas. what do you think i should do? what do you do understress like this? I'm going under the knife next Tuesday, blood work tomo and a few other tests first. Hopefully i will be able to get around a week or so after the surgery if not sooner. i can only miss 5 days of drivers ed total. i dunno...very hard:wtc:
     
  2. Elektra

    Elektra New Member

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    Well I won't presume to have all the answers for you, what i say will require you to really think about it...when I feel like there's a wall that's too hard to break though, I generally will climb over it...one brick at a time if necessary. Find out what the single most important thing at this moment is for you and concentrate on that..the rest will fall into place.
    As for your girl (don't know what the situation is) if you just talk to her and let her know what's up maybe she'll understand. It might make this easier for you and at the very least she'll know what's going on.
    Running around in circles in your mind is obviously NOT helping you. You need to relax.
     
  3. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Life has challenges sometimes doesn't it?

    Take one step at a time. What it sounds like to me is that your priority right now is to take care of your health and body first. It does you no good to worry about other things when you need your mind in a peaceful place to help your recovery.

    Cars will always be around tomorrow and the next. Don't worry...you'll have a lifetime to drive cars and you'll one day hate driving like the rest of us do.

    Next, concentrate on those things you can control now and prioritize those that have the biggest impact on you for the future. This includes your 1st job and the possibility of becoming independant as a result. That a huge positive step towards your self esteem and confidence.

    Your move will come whether you want it to or not. No need to focus or worry about that. Your relationship will work out too if it is meant to be. You shouldn't ignore your SO, but with good communication with her, she will understand what you are going though and give you the space to process.

    Vacation? Sheeeit. why worry about that? Michigan isn't disappearing either.

    Hang in there.....
     
  4. 4W4K3

    4W4K3 New Member

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    well the thing with vacation is my parents are MAKING me go, which in turn will probably mean i can't get a job (if i do i'll work maybe a week the entire summer lmao.) if i can't get a job, i can't get a car, then i can't be independent and move out, which leaves me living at home well past highschool...not cool!:wtc:

    i'm not ignoring my GF really, jsut i've been less enthusiastic with her on everything. she might think i'm losing interest or sumthing i dunno, just because i'm freaked out about the surgery. it's hereditary, my great grandpa and grandpa had my same symptoms, so i can't really do anything about it:( she knows this, and also knows with all the stuff i have to do, there is no time left for US anymore. i think thats all that i'm worried about...

    getting a job might not happen at all. with school, drivers ed, surgery, vacation (if i have to), and moving to the other side of the metroplex twice, i jsut wont have enough time. wish i could work from home like my dad does lol...would work perfect.
     
  5. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

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    Nothing wrong with living at home past high school. Your profile says you are either 16 or 17 (not gonna do the math right now), which means you have a couple years left until you are 18. There's no good reason to move out right when you turn 18 if you have to support yourself unless your parents are abusive in some way. Enjoy the vacation with your family, you may think it is lame now, but you will be glad you did later in life.
    You're getting to the age where people starting changing who they are by leaps and bounds. You might be growing in different directions. If she really wants to be with you then she will be able to handle spending less time with you while you go through surgery and moving and vacation, etc.
    Like other people have said, don't worry about the job right now. That adds unnecessary stress to your life. The things that are necessary is the surgery, moving homes, and vacation. The rest you don't need to think about until later. If you do that, a lot of weight will be lifted. Btw, I know ALL about surgery and going to a new school at your age. It's not fun, but you'll make it.
     
  6. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Several things to point out here....independance is in big part a state of mind as well. It doesn't necessarily have to do with moving out of the house or owning a car. I hope I didn't give you the wrong impression.

    In fact, some of the most responsible and independant people I know actively chose to stay at home to help out with their parent's mortgage and choose not to drive a car so they don't burden themselves with debt. They get much props from me, this is truely an act of selflessness and maturity...there are points in my life I could not have made choices as wise as theirs.

    Stay home while your parents are still here in this world to help you, get your shit all squared away one thing at a time.....

    Because once you buy that car to put yourself in debt, once you move out and find out you have to pay for your own rent, once you start work and realize that vacations are harder to come by.... you'll realize that you haven't begun to realize what stress is yet.
     
  7. 4W4K3

    4W4K3 New Member

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    my sister is almost 21 and still living at home. no car, no job, hardly in college...and it's a drag for her and the rest of the family. my parents cant afford her anymore, they never expecteed her to stay past 19-20. they plan on me staying till 19, but i really want to move out the summer after graduation. i know this sounds like every other teenager, but living at my house means being in bed by 10PM no matter what, no loud music, cant have my door closed, no privacy etc. it sucks, and i am not sure i can deal with being treated like im 12 when im 19-20yrs old. u know what i mean? my parents only want the best for me, but it really is a bit much. i respect their house now, i need them, but when im not a teenager, i need to be supporting myself if i want to move on in life.

    this "vacation" is only happening because my dad has a hand made music stand in Michigan he needs to get. its worth ALOT, hand crafted by my grandpa, very nice...so he wont air-mail i or ship it. not really going there for family or to have a good time...we even have to drive cuz my dad wont take music stand on the plane. kinda sucks:(

    i know my GF will stick with me, shes already told me that she will, its just a short summer conflict. i guess i am the one upset mostly, because i have all this crap to do and shes jsut at home waiting on me. makes me feel like i'm ignoring her, and then i suspect i really am, and that makes me mad.

    talking about it helps, even online. it gets me to look at things differently and alot slower. thinking about it makes it seem like its going to happen TOMORROW ALL AT ONCE! lol.
     
  8. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Well sure, living at home has its restrictions. You and your sister are under their roof.

    If you want your parents to cease treating you like a child then it's up to you to make the first moves towards proving your adulthood...and the way your sister is going isn't the way to do it.

    Take care of your health first, get a job or go to college (if you're ready), save up money THEN get a car. I had a friend who worked at McDonalds till she bought a new car in cash. No debt. Now THAT's an example of proving not only to your parents, but to yourself, that you got your shit together.

    Move or stay at home.... that's up to you. I couldn't take it either and ended up moving out. It's great, but as the example above shows, those who have the advantage of seeing their parents as people who can help you rather then just authority figures have the luxury to get a lot accomplished.
     
  9. 4W4K3

    4W4K3 New Member

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    i wont be in debt for a car, getting a used one for $5K cash i think, that's all my parents and i can afford. but insurance, gas, and everything else might keep me on my toes.

    when i hit 21, and if i can afford it and it just all seems to work out, my GF and i plan to take our relationship to the next level. i know i cant do this while living at home...impossible. and nothing is set in stone, it might not happen till i'm 25 who knows, but thats just what we both are planning on. mainly why i would like to move out b4 i turn 20. i dont want to be fresh out of the house and still not be used to taking care of myself, then have to try and adjust to living with somoene else a year later if not sooner, i couldn't handle that, my GF couldn't handle me either lol. but thats what im shooting for.

    wish i had more experience with working and all that, i wouldn't feel like such a kid. i'm 17-18 and never have held a real job in my life. makes me feel insignificant because i see freshmen 15yr. old kids making money and getting experience and i've not even gotten to that point yet.
     
  10. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

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    Don't worry about the other kids.
     
  11. 4W4K3

    4W4K3 New Member

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    i'm always preaching that i don't care what other people think of me. but that just makes me care 10X too much about what i think of myself.
     
  12. Paulie Walnuts

    Paulie Walnuts Im an agent of chaos

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    I detail. I go out and clean cars. If mine is clean I do the GFs, if hers is I do the parents.

    I have to do something when stressed I just cant sit there. Hell get on OT and badger someone that always helps.

    Find something you like that gives you peace and use it in stressfull situations. In college it was playing counterstrike, I miss that If it wasnt such a bitch to set up I would do it again
     
  13. 4W4K3

    4W4K3 New Member

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    i try to play the guitar lol. i love it, but i can't play it too often cuz i'm always out. listening to music usually gets me away from w/e im stressed about, but i don't even own a CD player anymore. i guess thats why im on the forums all the time at night, my quiet time.
     
  14. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

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    You wouldn't care "10X too much" about what you think of yourself if you weren't comparing yourself to others. You can't help but care what other people think a little bit, but what I'm getting at is there is a healthy and unhealthy level of caring.
     

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