How to deal with rape + dreams of rape?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by DnA02, Mar 2, 2007.

  1. DnA02

    DnA02 Hey, how YOU doin?! OT Supporter

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    Okay, my girlfriend told me that she was raped couple years back and ever since shes been scarred. I have known her for 11 years and we're both 21 years old now and started dating for 6 or so months now. We are in a long distance relationship of 2000 miles.

    Last week she had a dream that she was raped. she told me it was very real and since then she cannot get over it has been thinking about the dream (and probably the actual raped that occurred years back) and said that she currently is not in the mood for sex and doesnt know if she will be when i visit her at the end of march. She also doesnt feel safe most of the time, i asked her how safe does she feel on a normal basis and she responded with 55% (this is with carrying pepperspray around and looking around when walking in public places/to her car etc.)

    my question to you OT, is what can i do about how she is feeling and what can i do to help her?

    I have done the following things so far after the dream. i have told her i understand about us not having sex and i am totally cool with it and that i dont want her to feel as if she is obligated to have sex with me since we dont see each other that often. i also have told her that when shes ready to talk about the issue then i am all ears. i have told her i will support her in anyway i can, even if that means i dont have sex (not that much of a deal to me, sex comes and goes right?). i stay on the phone with her all night and just talk talk talk away until she falls asleep on me and i just stay on the phone even though shes sleeping (she feels safer this way, i dont know if this is a double edge sword). i text and call her often throughout each day so that she feels that i am there and think about her and stuff (anything else i can do?)

    again, i want to know what i can do about her being scarred from the rape and her dream of being raped? i feel as though she needs professional help, but do not know how i would go about convincing her to seek it.

    thanks OT for your time and thoughts into this, i know i wrote an essay.
     
  2. HouseLing

    HouseLing When masturbations lost its fun you'r fucking lazy

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    professional therapy
     
  3. t0mt0m

    t0mt0m Indeed...

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    i agree with professional help too or atleast talk to a school therapist
     
  4. Drilldo

    Drilldo Active Member

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    Yeah that's too much to just deal with, she needs to talk to somebody.
     
  5. DnA02

    DnA02 Hey, how YOU doin?! OT Supporter

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    yeah i also agree on the professional help, but how do i go about talking to her so that she is comfortable enough to consider going to get professional help?
     
  6. Chris90210

    Chris90210 New Member

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    Well a shrink can help the nightmares go away hopefully because she is having something spark those memories. She is holding on to that past for some reason. I'm not saying she needs to forget because no she will never but a shrink can help her through the incident and help relieve some of these nightmares/paranoia
     
  7. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Red flags all over the fucking place.
     
  8. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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