How to deal with friends annoying gf

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by XaPU!M, Feb 5, 2010.

  1. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Alright, a really good friend of mine has been dating the same girl for as long as I've known him (they met in college, we're friends from college). His gf is a 'nice girl' as in she means well, I don't think she tries to be annoying, but holy hell she is the most annoying person I know.

    Anyway, I've bit my tongue for years and just done my best to not let her get under my skin (which is very hard because she is sooooooooooooo damn annoying). I'm not the only one that thinks this either, every single one of his friends can't stand her, her own sister laughs at us because we have to deal with her (friends gf) on a regular basis.

    For example:
    This sunday is Super Bowl. Her Birthday is tomorrow. So she decided to combine the two and we're having a birthday party/super bowl party on Sunday (none of us give a shit that it's her birthday, if she wasn't combining the two we wouldn't do anything for her birthday). This doesn't seem that bad of an idea, we can do two parties at once.... she informed us last week that the Super Bowl will no longer be a potluck, it will be Pizza only. Her reasoning? She wants pizza. So instead of just supplying Pizza for her share of the potluck, she insists that we all have to split on a bunch of pizza (again not a huge deal, we're doing the potluck still regardless).

    Gets better though, she decided to spend $80 on some multi-level bright pink mini-wedding cake for her birthday. Whatever, it's her money... she now expects us to all pitch in towards the cake "because we can't expect her to pay for her own cake"....

    I had an argument with her last week, because she wanted all of us to go to this all you can eat amazing sushi place downtown before Super Bowl for her birthday. I told her that's a terrible idea because we'll all be sleeping by the time the game is on (anyone who has stuffed their face with raw fish knows how lethargic it makes you). She was pissed, her reason for being pissed was that she can't expect her boyfriend to pay for sushi because he's buying her dinner Saturday night, so our gift to her was to buy her a great sushi dinner (I don't even get my own sisters birthday gifts...).



    This type of shit happens all the time with her. It's so bad that we invented a game which we've played for a year or so... I won't get into details but it's basically who can say the least amount of words to her, and trick her into having conversations with the other people playing the game...


    Anyway... the point of my thread. It has gotten to the point that I can't stand to be around her, and I'm having a harder and harder time biting my tongue. I don't want to tear into her or lose my temper (which I seldom lose FYI) but I know it's going to happen sooner or later... probably very soon.

    I don't want to say anything stupid, because it'll piss off my friend (her bf). And him and I are really good friends, but I know he'll defend her tooth and nail if I give him a reason to, or if he thinks I'm out of line (he is the only person on the planet that doesn't seem to find her annoying). So I need to figure out some way that I can express my dislike of her to him, or her, or both. So that if/when I lose it, it doesn't look like it's coming out of no where, or preventing me from having to do it because I've already said what I need to say.

    One thing that is not an option: not hanging out with him. Like I said, we're really good friends. The only problem I have with him is she's always in tow and I can't fucking stand her.

    Cliffs: I can't stand my friends girlfriend, I've put up with her for years and I'm sick of it. He's a good friend of mine, but won't take it well if I tell him his girlfriend is a PITA. It's getting to the point that I can't keep biting my tongue and I need to do something, but what?
     
  2. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Wow, sorry. That was longer then I thought...

    I should clarify that I'm not trying to figure out how to make him dump her or make him see how fucking annoying she is. I just know that sometime in the near future I'm going to finally tell her what I think of her... and I'd rather nip that in the bud by maybe telling him/her in a nicer way before hand?


    I don't even know if the Vag can help me on this... :wtc:
     
  3. Silmatharien

    Silmatharien OT Supporter

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    Why don't you just say no? You're not interested in going out for sushi, don't go. If you don't want pizza, you don't need to pay for it. Etc, etc. If she wants an expensive birthday cake, there's no reason you should have to pay for it.
     
  4. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    :rofl: Oh I didn't hesitate to say no.

    We're still doing potluck, and we're now all making sure our food is or contains pork (she's jewish).

    No one is giving her money for the cake.

    And we're not going for sushi.

    Trust me, I bite my tongue, but I don't hesitate to hold my ground.
     
  5. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    I'm in for this, I have a friend who I've been friends with for 11 years (I'm currently 22) and we're best friends like you'd imagine. He has a girl friend who is a bitch, not just like she is annoying but she is constantly a bitch. She puts him down and tries to make him look back in front of people. Well he'll talk back to her and tell her whats up but she does this all the time and I've finally had an end of it. I'm tired of hearing it from her. I told her that from now on I'm going to start saying whats on my mind, and when she does something I call her on it. My friend didn't have a car because his broke down and with it being like 0 degrees out he couldn't fix it either. He has a seasonal job so when winter hits he is on unemployment. She hates this, she thinks he's lazy or something because of it. (he also made more on unemployment than she made with a real job mind you.). He asked to use the car which she needs to get to work, she told him no and asked why I can't drive. I always drive places because well he doesn't have a car. But I had gotten home from work and was tired as hell and didn't feel like driving, she didn't care and told him he couldn't even though he said he'd put gas in the car. Well this pissed me off so I got up and told her I always drive and that she can't tell him no to a car thats actually under his name and he helps pay on because she can't pay it all. Well that upset her and we took the car anyways. Really I'm just trying to say that its about time you tell your friend that you can't take it anymore and you need to start calling people on the shit. I've told my friend that if it was up to me I'd probably not get along at all with his g/f because she is a bitch, only reason I'm able to is because he has to live with her and I don't want him to deal with it. He knows why I feel this way and understands it and actually thanks me for being honest about it. I don't have to like her and she doesn't have to like me.
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2010
  6. Silmatharien

    Silmatharien OT Supporter

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    it can be pretty satisfying to rip on a friend's/roommate's girlfriend. My old roommate had this girlfriend and no one else that lived there liked her either. She whined and complained a lot and generally turned our roommate into a pussy. We used to make fun of her indirectly when she was there and a lot of the time she wouldn't figure it out. Behind her back was a whole other story ... we just let loose.

    Anyway, why don't you talk to your roommate? Tell him why you think stuff like this is inappropriate or why it's bugging you. You can do this while she's not there so you don't have to be confrontational.
     
  7. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i was in a similar situation. only i didnt let it go on for years.

    pretty much off the bat, after i got to know her, i told my friend that i found his gf annoying. i explained the whys and told him she would not come between us as friends. but, if i ever snap at her know its nothing against him.

    he understood. i went off on her maybe twice while they were together.
     
  8. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    But how do I even broach the subject? I mean, we're really good friends, but we're really good GUY friends, we don't exactly talk about emotional shit etc. So how do I explain it to him in a way that he doesn't automatically go into defensive mode and think I'm just verbally attacking her for no reason?
     
  9. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    They live together, so he's not my roommate fortunatly. And we're the same actually, we say shit in front of her all the time that goes right over her head. And when BOTH of them aren't around we tend to tell stories of what she's done the past week that was fucking annoying.

    I think he's going to make it confrontational though. He's not going to like me saying what I have to say even if I clean it up. And once he starts getting defensive then he's going to dismiss anything I have to say... so it gets me no where.
     
  10. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    This is exactly the type of thing I was looking for. I need him to know it's nothing personal, but I can't stand her.

    Thanks!
     
  11. Silmatharien

    Silmatharien OT Supporter

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    Well he's a guy, he should be able to be rational about stuff like this. The worst thing you can do is not say anything and have this behaviour continue.
     
  12. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    This has actually gone on for 7 years :o

    And we had a friend a few years ago that actually told him this type of thing. And also said that everyone feels this way. He was with all my other buddies at the time and they all basically denied it (I wasn't there to say one way or the other)... so it made him start resenting my friend and they actually only hang out like twice a year now... (they were roommates at one point)
     
  13. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I think I just need to preface it with "We're friends, and this has nothing to do with our friendship but..."

    I was picturing it more of "Man your girl annoys the fuck out of me" and him instantly going into defensive mode. But if I preface it he might not get as defensive.
     
  14. Silmatharien

    Silmatharien OT Supporter

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    Your friends sound like they were big pussies. Anyway, instead of bringing it up as an ongoing thing, you could also bring it up as "You know, we had this whole Super Bowl thing planned and she tried to change it so it all revolved around her. I don't like this for [whatever reason]. This isn't the first time I've seen this manifest itself."
     
  15. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    It's so much more then that. Like when she isn't ruining our plans she does other annoying things. She has this tendancy to be hanging out with us, then all of a sudden start acting drunk and or high (without being drunk and or high) then start acting like a 3 year old, laughing, yelling, blocking the tv, drawing awkward attention to us at a restaurant, etc. Seriously, it's like her brain shuts off, and she thinks it's fucking hilarious and cute, when in reality no one likes hanging out with a almost 30 year old acting like a little kid.

    I could give examples all day and it wouldn't even begin to scratch the surface of what she does to annoy us.

    And my friends are pussies. I'm going to leave them out of this, but I know he'll ask them what they think and they'll all deny it or change the subject.
     
  16. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I don't know why you are amping it up so much. Don't go to this guy and start trashing his GF...

    Just be like "Shes a nice enough girl, but you know we have never really gotten along..."
     
  17. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I didn't read that long ass post yet, but haven't you made a thread about this girl before?
     
  18. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I know to phrase it in a way that I'm not directly attacking her. I know she doesn't mean to be annoying, it's just her personality...

    The sad part is she thinks I'm a good friend of hers.

    I guess I've kinda dug myself into this hole by keeping my mouth shut for this long, out of respect for him.

    Like I honestly think he's going to see this as coming out of left field, and will instantly get defensive and angry at me for telling him the truth. And the only reason I want to tell him is it's getting to the point that I'm going to do/say mean things when she pushes my buttons... which won't go over well.

    I just needed to write it down... once I stopped just thinking about it and wrote it down it does seem "easy" enough to approach it in a way that he wont get as defensive. He still isn't going to take it well, but I think I know how to say it.
     
  19. lawngn0me

    lawngn0me In every wish and dream and happy home, you will f

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    I kind of did a similar thing with my best friend's gf. This bitch was super annoying and would always come between our friendship. We'd make plans to go to the bar, but then she'd be drunk somewhere else and then show up at his place preventing us from going out. It didn't help that this dumb broad didn't really have any friends of her own.

    I just had to tell him what was up. I told him he needed to grow a pair of balls and tell her no some of the time. I mean, I'm not going to hate him for wanting to get his dick wet or anything. Granted, she was definitely not cute at all (at least, in my opinion). I told him he could do a lot better, but he'd have to put in some work.

    The chick ended up cheating on him multiple times and would accuse him of cheating on her (can we say "batshit insane"). Even when they were "taking a break" from each other, he went out and started talking to some other girls. She accused him of cheating again (WTF??!?!?!) and he didn't even do anything with these girls. I even said "shit bro. if you're going to get in trouble for this from this stupid bitch, you may as well do something to deserve it. let her suck your dick at least". My friend didn't listen... and now he wishes he did.

    Needless to say, he broke up with her when she cheated on him with another guy we know. She stopped talking to that guy all of a sudden, then went to get married to ANOTHER guy we all know. I'm sure she has like 15 STDs now.
     
  20. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Yeah probably. This girl last spring told me that if my friend didn't stop drinking she was going to leave him... that never happened. He still drinks and she is still there annoying the hell out of everyone.
     
  21. Silmatharien

    Silmatharien OT Supporter

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    You could also write a letter. If someone takes the time to write, odds are it's been on their mind for awhile and what they're saying is genuine.
     
  22. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    See although I'd love to tell him this, because it's true... she's no catch. I'm going to be careful to not bring it up. Them being together is none of my business, obviously he sees something in her that no one else does. I just need her to knock off the BS, and act like a fucking adult once in a while.
     
  23. Silmatharien

    Silmatharien OT Supporter

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    too bad. you almost got rid of her. :rofl:
     
  24. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Yeah that'd be the easiest way, because he couldn't get defensive about it. I am 99% certain that after the first few sentences he'll get defensive and stop listening to what I'm saying. And start thinking I'm the bad guy in the situation. Though I'm not going to do a letter, that's to passive for me


    (just noticed you are from Waterloo, I could hit waterloo with a rock from my house - in kitchener)
     
  25. Silmatharien

    Silmatharien OT Supporter

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    let me guess. you're talking about Ye's Sushi on King.
     

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