LGBT How to bring up a touchy subject.

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Jinx, Aug 25, 2006.

  1. Jinx

    Jinx Active Member

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    I'm new to posting in here. I had a weird night last night with a friend, and I didn't know where to go.. Then I saw the closet.

    My friend Samantha and I have a friend named Anthony who is amazing. He's brilliant, he's a hardworker, etc, and I've always questioned his sexuality.. Not that it's a big deal; I'm just curious about stuff like that. Anyway, we went to a party last night, and he got rather drunk. He was talking to us as a group (as well as our friend Jordan) and said that the reason he'd been so upset lately was because he broke up with his boyfriend, Ryan, and that he really is gay.

    Samantha and I are wondering if it's appropriate to ask him about it today ("Hey, we were just wondering about something you said last night...") or if we should just let it go. I figured this would be the place to do it.

    Thanks for any/all input in advance. :)
     
  2. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    This is my personal opinion, I might be wrong :(

    It's a very conflicting moment, it would be great if you call him and ask him about it but is also great if you let him go at his own pace. He got drunk and words came out...maybe he is slowly working on the idea of letting you know about that part of his life and if you care about him then you should talk about it, don't question him, just let him know you are cool with it and that you are there to support him....if after the initial moment you feel he doesn't want to talk about it be prepared to change subjects and talk about something different, let him go at his own speed and I think that all gay people like to go slow at first...its a delicate balance between giving him the right ammount of support and letting him live his life under his terms. I'm not out but I think a lot of people around me already knows (I have a funny story about it, maybe another day I'll ask for advice about it), it scares the living shit out of me to tell them about it so I'd like them to take the first step...yeah I'm fucked up like that :o

    Don't make a huge deal about it, just do that "hey we were wondering about..." and be cool and honest with it, I'm sure he will open up...

    Keep us updated! :)
     
  3. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    I agree with wookie - on most points.

    I know when I was dealing with coming out, i would much rather have had people ASK me about it.. hoping everyone would be some sort of psychic. Personally, I LOVE talking about my experiences coming out and what ive gone through - and I really think most people are like this too, everyone likes to share things about themselves (if the environment is open and willing to listen).

    I absolutely think you should bring it up, much in the manner that you described - make it casual but also be concerned and there for him - as wookie said, also be ready to change the subject so he can still feel in control etc.
     
  4. Jinx

    Jinx Active Member

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    Thanks, guys.. Sam and I are spending the afternoon with him, and I think we're going to bring it up later tonight. :) I'll keep you posted.
     
  5. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    take pics....:x:


    *I just came from OT, give me a break*
     
  6. Jinx

    Jinx Active Member

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    I'm on the left, Sam's on the right..
    [​IMG]

    Anthony on the right.
    [​IMG]
     
  7. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    all cuties :cool: good luck!
     
  8. pigeon

    pigeon wasabi

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    +1 :kiss:
     
  9. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    i came out to my friends when i was wasted. bad idea. and it pissed me off soooooo bad when people all asked me about it the next day. but then again i was being asked "so hows it feel to take it up the ass" and blah blah, just all kinds of retarded comments from people i considered my "friends." im kind of still in the process of weeding out my real friends from my aquaintances



    thats just my experience :dunno: i think the advice wookie gave would be a great start.
     
  10. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    so...how does it feel? lol
    :mamoru: j/k man :hug:
     
  11. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    :squint:



    some people are infatuated with it. they feel the need to ask me the same question everyday. its almost as if theyre trying to send me a daily reminder that im something "less" in todays society -- in the way they present themselves to me. :hsugh: it doesn't really get to me, its just annoying for the time that they're trying to talk to me.
     
  12. spiffy_badrock

    spiffy_badrock I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

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    I understand, Ive had to field the question "so what chick turned you gay" too many times....:sadwavey:
     
  13. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    they are just immature, even here in Venezuela's very narrow minded society ppl have some respect, when my best friend told me he was gay I asked a few sex related things because I was curious and that's it, never talked about it again...in fact we rarely talk about his sex life :hsugh: I guess this will change when I tell them that I also love teh cawk :mamoru:
     
  14. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    you needa do it! :)
     
  15. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    I'm scared to do it, I don't know how some of them might react and to be honest....I don't wanna be gay yet :hs:
     
  16. Priest Tango

    Priest Tango Custom User Tits

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    dooooo eeeiiiittt!!! so we can get to the muscle68 orgy already :hs:
     
  17. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    ;)

    the time will come and you'll feel the need to unleash the queer inside.
     
  18. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    "I'll take 'orgasmic' for $1000, Alex..."
     
  19. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    But it's sooooo much fun! [​IMG]
     
  20. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Good luck, Jinx.

    I think he'll be receptive to you talking to him about it.

    He's ready to come out to you... it just took him a couple of drinks to have the balls to come out... now it's up to you guys to let him know that it's not a big deal to you (assuming it's not a big deal to you).

    He needs friends.... especially if he's just broken up with his boyfriend... So, you really need to be there for him, to help him through the breakup and to help him come out of the closet...

    :hug:
     
  21. FastCat

    FastCat New Member

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    Well??? ;)
     
  22. daze

    daze Supreme Member OT Supporter

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    one month later. and this thread is still
    [move][​IMG][/move]
     
  23. Jinx

    Jinx Active Member

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    This kid has become a lost cause. :( He started hanging out with a group of kids that turned into a really bad influence.
     
  24. Fate13

    Fate13 New Member

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    That is to bad, the company you keep can be a very large factor in how you act/think... n/m the fact that can lead to bad relationships too!
     

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