How To Be Less Awkward?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Kev07, Apr 2, 2010.

  1. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    This is one of my weaknesses and something I want to overcome. I've already overcome a bunch of my awkwardness, but I realized I'm still awkward at times.

    Sometimes I'm really outgoing and life is great, but other's I'm just awkward :dunno:

    Not really sure where to start explaining it.

    Anyone have any insight?
     
  2. john law

    john law Guest

    awkward with women...or just in general?

    Hit the gym, act like you know you are doing/saying...and if you don't know what you or someone is talking about...don't say anything. Um, smile and ask people for more details on what they are talking about.
     
  3. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Practice practice practice
     
  4. john law

    john law Guest

    insightful
     
  5. Mitchj

    Mitchj OT Supporter

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    the more people socialise, the better they get at it :dunno:
     
  6. Mitchj

    Mitchj OT Supporter

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    here is your problem, you are also awkard because you are thinking "I am awkard, not them"

    the other guy isnt awkward because hes thinking "I cant wait until the fishing trip this weekend"

    you unfortunately have a higher level, analytic mind.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    confidence.

    you can talk about anything or do anything and if you're confident enough, people will think it's/you're cool.
     
  8. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    lol werd. search for a thread i made called "why smart people suck socially" or something like that. i make a lot of threads so you might have to search for a while. i'd do it but im posting from my phone and can't copy or paste.
     
  9. NuShooz

    NuShooz OT Supporter

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    most time this awkwardness is due to trying too hard not to be awkward...don't think about it so much and be confident in who you are
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    No need for insight.

    Practice practice practice.
     
  11. Acciaio

    Acciaio New Member

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    I fall hard into this category. I avoid talking to anyone that I don't have to and if I find someone I do want to talk to, my mind comes up with 100 negative things that person is likely to say. It's hard to even email a friendly girl I met last month because I think it's going to be the last email I send. That she will send a nasty one back or that she gave me her email as a joke or w/e. I hold my breath when I hit send.

    I over think everything. Sorry for hijacking.
     
  12. john law

    john law Guest

    He is looking for WHAT to practice. I at least tried to help him and give advice, that he can go out and practice.

    You and your buddy should throw him a few tips and pointers. Help out, like I try to.
     
  13. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    In my experiences, the awkward guys are the ones who don't say much and when they do say something, they seem nervous and seem to really care about the reactions they get from everyone.

    I have a buddy who is awkward and he will say random ass shit. The other day I was hanging out with him and he ran into some guys at Waffle House that he hasn't seen in 4 years. I've never met them, so I was minding my own business and eating my food. One of the first things he said is "Hey, you remember that red 69' Chevy truck I had? I still have it, haha." --- He just stopped and watched them until they said something and they just kind of looked at him and said "Cool man....."

    I've learned not to take him to bars or anything. Before I learned that, him and I was at a bar playing 2v2 pool with these two girls and he would just randomly say stuff like "Hey, I'm a welder" or "Look at this Monte Carlo that I used to have *whips out cellphone pic already brought up*"

    Stuff like that is awkward to me. Caring too much what everyone thinks and showing it.
     
  14. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    He's most likely already over thinking shit, which is why it's awkward in the first place. Like Mitchj said, the more you socialize the better you get at it. It's like everything else. He could read a damned manual on how not to be awkward and it won't make a bit of fucking difference. He just needs to keep putting himself in social situations and eventually he'll become comfortable with them. It's really that simple. Practice practice practice.
     
  15. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    have enthusiasm, humor, quick wit, and be able to tell a good, fluid story

    all of the confidence bullshit will come after... I can walk into a bar with my chest out and a smile on my face but that will all get flushed down the toilet once some girl talks to me and I'm boring and awkward
     
  16. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    define how you are awkward.

    i think im awkward at times. right after i say/do something awkward i point it out and it always gets a good laugh from everyone including myself.

    it turns me from the awkward dude to the funny dude which is a plus in social circles.
     
  17. Toroweedeater99

    Toroweedeater99 Registered E-thug

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    Awkward is getting caught at work masterbating then comming in the next morning and no one will shake your hand.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1tXhJniSEc ocly....Now the Italian Stallion will give you some words of advice
     
  18. giz

    giz Active Member

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    embrace your awkwardness, use it to your advantage. I'm awkward on purpose all the time because it's funny and out of the norm.
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Those are great examples of being awkward.

    It's like they're "trying too hard" kinda, like having the pic already open on his phone.

    I guess you could define "awkwardness" as: Trying too hard and caring too much about people's reactions + violating "social norms" kinda.

    I'm sure someone else can define it better. It's one of those things that you kinda know when you see.
     
  20. +(ll.ll)+

    +(ll.ll)+ New Member

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    ifl because that's me - academically smart but socially awkward :hs:
     
  21. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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  22. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    just in general, i'd probably say it goes up a little bit with women

    gonna try to respond to everything, this is my opinions of course, i cant subjectively observe my behaviors

    trying too hard to impress people: i'm over this stage of awkwardness. I'm pretty sure of that. Sometimes I have the problem of not caring enough of what people think and I end up not carrying on a conversation or just not caring about getting to know someone

    Confidence: this is something that i am constantly trying to improve. Although I'm definitely the not most confident person in the world, I think i shouldnt be as awkward as i am based solely on self confidence. EDIT: forgot to put a "not" before most confident :rofl:

    Overanalytical: This is very true. I sometimes wish I could completely live in the moment, but I have a habit of taking a step back to analyze what is going on to see what my best course of action should be

    Practice: of course, Ive been practicing since I first found out about the PUA community back in 2006-2007ish, theres definetely way more to go.

    Humor/Wit: I'd say it's 50/50. it depends who i'm with. Maybe when I'm shy-er, this is an indicator that i'm not as confident around that group of people? Same with being able to tell a story.

    Enthusiasm: this is definetely something I could work on. if the subject isnt something that i know about, i don't have much of an opinion.

    gonna play bball, be back with more
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2010
  23. +(ll.ll)+

    +(ll.ll)+ New Member

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    how do you not care about what other ppl think?
     
  24. john law

    john law Guest

    Oh thats not so bad man. Just talk about what you are into (sports for example). Maybe have a beer or two before you hang out with a group of people, just to loosen yourself up a bit.

    Just roll the dice and trust yourself. Nearly everybody wants to make new friends and it isn't like somebody is going to put you down for saying something dumb. If they do, point out a flaw of theirs.

    Smile, ask questions/more details about what somebody is talking to you about, even if you aren't interested in what they say.

    Guys: talk to them about cars/sports/women/drinking

    Girls: talk to them about their outfits/movies/their friends/their boyfriends/pets/family

    Remember, if you aren't interested in what somebody has to say to you, they aren't going to be interested in what you have to say.
     
  25. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    that's the weird thing, alcohol has absolutely no effect on making me more outgoing :rofl: so i only drink if it's for something (round of shots, beer pong, etc)

    i think i also have a problem maintaining eye contact, something im also working on

    i joke around with my friend's every now and then about me being shy and they always tell me to "stfu you're not shy" but i think its just around different groups of people that i get awkward.

    i think part of the problem is also that i might not seem approachable. I conciously maintain approachable body language, but i'm not sure how effective i am. any thoughts on that?

    all the advice in here is great, thanks vag :bowdown:
     

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