SRS how to be an A**H***

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Sure why not?, Mar 22, 2007.

  1. Sure why not?

    Sure why not? New Member

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    So i've seen numerous times that girls will be more attracted to a guy who acts as an asshole towards them. Since I'm in the dating mode and dont want to be friend zoned, what are some dos and donts when it comes to acting like an asshole?

    Are there any proven successful tactics or strategies for getting into that dating zone with a girl?
     
  2. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    you will get better responses to this question if you ask it in the vaginarium
     
  3. cutlasskid85

    cutlasskid85 OT Supporter

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    I come across as a asshole if I'm not interested in the girl, but I'm too nice when I actually like here.

    This weekend a friend of mine told me that it works on her, being a asshole.
     
  4. thesuffering

    thesuffering New Member

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    it really does work....i was doing the nice thing for a long time, and it wasnt getting me anywhere. i started being an asshole, and just generally not caring, and i had all sorts of girls wanting me. seriously, i counted at one time like 6 different girls all trying to get with me...it was great. then you just pick the one you want..

    the secret is, be an asshole enough to get them interested, they will be with you, but dont be an asshole the whole time, just when the girl thinks you are too much of an asshole and starts getting tired of it start the nice guy routine, she will love how you are being for a while. continue being nice until she starts getting bored with you, then go back to asshole mode.

    girls are tricky species, but you just have to figure them out. now the above is by no means black and white, sometimes you have to blend being nice and being an asshole.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    immature girls who shouldn't be worth your time like assholes....so if you want a girl that you have to not be yourself to obtain, then go right ahead and be a dick.
     
  6. thesuffering

    thesuffering New Member

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    the problem is a good majority of girls are immature, good looking girls who actually like nice guys are few and far between...
     
  7. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

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    I hate people talk about "assholes" and "nice guys" as if there are simple absolutes. Both types are losers in the dating world. There needs to be a balance. I believe girls genuinely like guys who are nice to them. What they DON'T like are guys who are clingy, mushy, lacking backbone and predictable. It seems the strategy is to show interest (be nice) while stiring doubts (be an asshole).
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd:
     
  9. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    God today I'm reading all of your posts and I'm thinking the exact same thing. Great minds think alike..

    Sorry back to topic.

    Fuck girls like that. They're not worth your time so just let them go and be with the people that care nothing about them. The ladies will get used and will end up getting hurt. Their own fault!
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :h5:
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    From a distance, a self-confident guy can appear to be an asshole.

    If you're a weak wuss who feels like he can't get the girl he wants, the self-confident guy's moves appear to be that of a MAJOR asshole/jerk that makes him exclaim something like "fuck! how can she like HIM? when I'd treat her like a PRINCESS! why doesn't she see that, and like ME instead..."

    Think about it.
     
  12. Elfling

    Elfling New Member

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    .

    If you're looking for a good relationship, for crying out loud just be yourself, be respectful, and demand the same in return.
     
  13. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Whoever is telling you that you need to be an a-hole to attract girls is either inexperienced or is an idiot. That is what frustrated guys who aren't having success usually say, and they get that in part because they see other guys getting the girl they like. They see these guys and think that they are so much better for her than he is, and since she isn't with him and is instead with that guy, they think girls must like jerks. This isn't the truth, it is an inexperienced persons confusion.

    Instead of first focusing on what girls are attracted to, let's focus on what they are not attracted to:

    Girls aren't attracted to guys who have low self confidence, low self value, and have little self respect. A girl is not attracted to a guy whom puts her on a pedastle above him and does whatever he can to please her. This behavior from a guy exudes weakness. Women want a man, not a insecure boy who has growing up to do.

    You see these guys a lot when they are the "friend" of a girl and are crushing on her. They answer the phone every time she calls no matter what they are doing, they drive places to pick her up and drop her off without asking for anything in return, they sit on the phone chatting with her all day like he is one of her girlfriends, he listens to all of her problems in hope that he can solve it and convince her to see that he's a nice guy, etc, etc, etc.

    These guys are making many many mistakes that turn women off. This is why guys get confused after doing all of that and then assume a girl must like a jerk because she didn't buy into all of his flattery and sacrifice. It's not that she wants a guy to treat her bad, she merely doesn't want a guy who has no life of his own outside of pleasing her, she doesn't want a guy who doesn't value his own opinion enough to disagree with her in fear of her getting mad at him, she doesn't want a guy who is a "yes" man, etc. These all reak of low self confidence, low self value, and low self respect. These things are a turn off when it comes to romantic feelings.
    I am not saying a guy cannot be nice, or even do favors, but these guys take it to the extreme because they are trying to win her over with their niceness. It's weak and unattractive.

    What do girls respond to romantically? What are they attracted to? A guy with self respect. A guy who will stand his ground (especially to her) if he feels his opinion is right. A guy who isn't someone's taxicab, whom has nothing better to do than to serve another person at the drop of a hat. A girl is attracted to a guy with self confidence. He isn't afraid to walk right up to her, introduce himself, and ask for a date. This guy values his time too much to spend months under the disguise of "just friends" hoping she will one day take the initiative herself to start a relationship. This guy respects his time and value and instead will be a confident man and take the initiative himself. He doesn't play the "hey, I am the harmless uninterested sweet guy" game when he really is interested. He flat out comes up and starts their interaction with his "relationship foot" forward, not his "friend foot".
    A guy can be these things and be a perfect gentleman-which should be the goal of every guy. There are jerks out there and if a guy is a jerk, which scenario do you think he falls closer to? The kiss ass or the confident guy? he resembles the confident guy more, which is why a lot of jerks get girls and then make them unhappy. The guy who truly knows what he is doing has all of the confident traits but in return still respects women. Don't become a a-hole to try to get chicks, just learn how to exude confidence and self respect rather than a sneaky friend-in-disguise nice guy.

    A confident guy isn't in the friendzone because he doesn't allow himself to get there. Friendzone is something you are completely in control of. If you meet a girl and make it clear that you are not interested in being "just friends" and are interested in more then you are taking that first big step into avoiding friendzone period. The next step would be to refuse to go there. So if she starts turning down dates or does things with you but won't become a girlfriend or lover then you end the relationship and walk away. A lot of guys will make their romantic intentions known but then will wait so patiently for her to decide what she wants to do with him. Not the confident guy. If she's not willing to date or become an item then he leaves. HE decides.
     
  14. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

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    Your post is very well said...except this part. Coming out and immediately signaling that you're strongly interested is a sign of weakness. By doing so, you transfer the power to the women. It's more proper to make time an ally. Sure, you display hints of interest. But you also fall back with a bit of aloofness which confuses her. This song and dance takes a long time. This is why you NEVER tell a girl you like her during the early stage of courtship. SHe'll be more interested in you if she questions whether you're truly interested in her.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2007
  15. Sure why not?

    Sure why not? New Member

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    OK well thanks for the responses so far. I think I'll explain a little more about myself and my situtation...

    Not to get EMO or anything, but I have just gotten out of a nearly 3 year realationship, and my dating and specifically social skills with teh womenz seem to be rusty at this point.
    I am in college so there is an abundence of poon to be slain, but Im not exactly looking to go out and screw a differnt girl everynight. I would like a short, fun relationship at this point or even just a cool girl to hang out with, and maybe some more.
    However, like i said, my social skills are rusty with the girls because of a g/f who never liked it when i talked to other females, which is understandable since i never really like her talking to a lot of guys.
    No, I dont have self-esteem problems or confidence, problems, I have rather high levels of both, so that isn't really a problem.

    I'm just looking more for what is considered to be too assholeish and what is considered to be too nice guy.
     
  16. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I think you misunderstand or I didn't explain it well enough. I am not saying a guy should throw himself at a girl or transfer power to her. What I am saying is that you move the relationship towards a romantic one and not a friend one. Example:

    If a guy meets a girl and thinks she's attractive and he'd like to take her out. Within the first few meetings with her he needs to make that clear, not with words by telling her he likes her but, by asking her for her phone number, and then calling her to set up a date. You never have to say the words, "I like you" in order to get off on the right foot, you merely have to use actions to show her that you are not interested in platonic friends. If she likes you then she'll go out on a date with you. If she likes you after that she'll go on more. When you make moves such as kissing or more you are progressing the relaitonship romantically without wearing your heart on your sleeve and transferring power.

    Of course it's well advised that you do not over do it, call her non stop, set up plans every day, etc, it's all done with tact, but that wasn't what I was getting into. I was explaining that you need to set this off in the right direction early on, not play "pals".

    As far as playing "aloof", I disagree. That's playing games. You do not have to act aloof, all you have to do is show self control. Keep yourself busy with your own life. Don't be available at her beck and call, because that shows that you have nothing better to do and that's boring. Everything in moderation, show self control. I think being aloof if trying to act not interested and that's the wrong thing to do. You are interested. You want her to know you are interested. You just don't want her to know how much this early because that takes away the excitement.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2007
  17. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    You and her both need to grow up on that one. Talking to people of the opposite sex is normal. I put my foot down when it comes to flirting with members of the opposite sex, but I could care less if my fiance' is talking to a dude... unless he's hitting on her and in that case she needs to make it clear that she's taken to avoid disrespecting me. However just talking to the opposite sex, that's normal and if someone told me I couldn't do that I'd tell them to get a grip of break up with me because that's an unrealistic expectation.
     
  18. Sure why not?

    Sure why not? New Member

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    This wasn't just about talking to people of the other sex, but it was more about flirting with other people. Since we are both at different colleges (puts on flamesuit) it was more of the partying issue. She drew a lot of attention from a lot of guys, and while she would say she was just talking to someone, there would often be messages on facebook (flamesuit again) from some guys with very flirtatious messages.
     
  19. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    My advice is simple. Just flow, stop trying to be something that you are not.

    Be self observant, and you will notice and fix your defects.

    That easy.
     
  20. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    Like everybody else says, just be CONFIDENT! If you actually make fun of chicks or act like a jerk they obviously aren't going to like you at all.


    I don't get chicks because I really AM an asshole.
     

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