SRS How to balance life and a relationship?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Mugen92GS-R, Feb 9, 2008.

  1. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

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    Don't really know where I'm going with this. I'm 23 and just started graduate school. Been with my GF for just shy of 3 months. Our relationship is absolutely amazing, so that isn't the problem. I guess I'm worried because it's like I would absolutely rather do anything with her than go out with some friends. Truth is, I don't really have many CLOSE friends, rather a bunch of... acquaintances or so. I'd have no problem spending a night away to hang out with the few best friends that I do have, however I feel like I'm drifting away from my other friends.

    That being said, I am under a lot of stress. Between instructing a class, grading assignments, tutoring, research, homework, studying, and playing in a band I really don't have much time away from school. I see the GF about 4-5 nights a week, usually for only 3 or 4 hours, so I obviously want to spend more of my free time with her. It just feels like someone is asking me to do something with them every night, and I can't... or when I could, I don't want to.

    Tonight for example is my friend Amy's birthday, and I got invited to this bar they're all going to. I saw the GF earlier today, but I won't get to see her again until Monday night at the earliest. I can either go to the bar with my friends, or go see the GF (she can't come with because she isn't 21). I'd rather do the latter. Do you guys see this as a problem? I could see where constantly ditching my BEST friends to see the GF could be a problem, but since most of my friends aren't my BEST friends...

    I just love her so much... I would spend every minute of every day with her if I could, but I can't.

    I don't really know what I'm asking, but do you guys have any advice on how to balance a social life similar to my own with a relationship?

    Thanks.
     
  2. stormywaters

    stormywaters Tornadoes are just wind...

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    My bf and I are like that also. We get around it by going out with other friends while the other is working/out at a prior engagement/with other friends.
     
  3. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I've heard balance defined as that blurred line that I cross as I race from one extreme to the other.

    I've never had much balance in my life.....for some reason, I seem drawn to the extremes.
     
  4. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Those who care about you want you to be happy, they'll sacrifice letting go if being with her gives you that joy. Those who resist and persist in trying to stand in the way and don't want you to follow what you care about aren't worth spending time with.

    If I don't call my best friend for months, he's ok with it. He knows I love him, and I'd spend more time with him if he asked, but he wouldn't pull me away from something or someone I loved to be with him.
     
  5. doubleb23

    doubleb23 Ooooo

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    I wouldn't worry about hurting your friends feelings - friends have to and do understand that people go through different stages with respect to how they spend their time.

    I would worry more about putting too many of your eggs in one basket with your SO, for two reasons.

    For one, if shit hits the fan with your SO you might find yourself out in the cold a bit because your friends have adjusted to not seeing you as much. Not that wouldn't "take you back" or anything like that at all, but they're not going to be as used to calling you and keeping you in the loop with things because you previously removed yourself from that circle.

    Second, is it really the case that you enjoy yourself more with your SO, or is it that you enjoy yourself in a different way? Maybe you would enjoy yourself more in general if you balance your time and get the best of both worlds.
     
  6. Kdanzig

    Kdanzig Guest

    As long as you can spare your friends some time I think they will understand. I live far away from all my really good friends, so i just try and talk to them on the phone as much as possible and I only end up seeing them maybe once a month :dunno:
     
  7. nezfotnemom

    nezfotnemom OT Supporter

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    .
     
  8. Victoriono

    Victoriono New Member

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    She might be crazy about you and you crazy about her, but that WILL change if you don't have a social life of your own. Things will get boring for her.
     

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