SRS How to ask her..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by somethingstrang, Feb 22, 2008.

  1. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    So I've recently been interested in this girl who is in my chem and physics lab. I'm not her partner, but her lab bench is across from mine. I rarely get a chance to talk to her since labs are so busy, and I usually finish sooner than her.

    I did get to start a short conversation one day after physics lab. We finished at the same time, so we got to talking for a few minutes before our paths separated.

    I'm assuming she recognizes me now, but I need help on how to go from "hello" to "lets grab a bite to eat together." What's a good way to do this? I rarely see her outside of lab.
     
  2. AnD Im SpEnT

    AnD Im SpEnT New Member

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    just talk to her a few more times if you can and just ask if she wants to do something sometime. she's a bitch if she says no!
     
  3. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    I could, the hard part is that our university is really small, so there's literally nothing to do. Except eat...and go to events that happen once a month.

    If I get stuck on conversation, what's a few good things to bring up?
     
  4. TripleLindy

    TripleLindy New Member

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    Always be aware of common ground conversation. A bridge must be gapped every time you open your mouth. You can't force a conversation that isn't relevant, or that wouldn't be happening given the time and place.

    In my experience, you will be talking a lot about the class/classroom/teacher/coursework in the beginning. If you can nail some jokes with that material, then you can start to segue into better jokes, and personal stuff.

    Jumping straight to personal, out of school stuff is nearly always a failing attempt. And yes, awkward moments are failures.
     
  5. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    Well, I guess I'm safe for now, as I talked about chem lab. (and talking about how we mess up on things)
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Spend time in the Vag....there's lots of good advice there.

    Just be yourself, relaxed, casual and fun. Then ask her to lunch after lab. You could say, "Hey, I'm hungry. Want to join me for a sammich after lab?" How difficult is that? It's not....you're just getting all hung up on how it will come across to her because you want her to like you.

    Don't focus on her liking you or that you want to suck on her boobs.....treat her like she's already one of your friends and then think, what would I say to that friend? Then say that.

    If you're friendly and easy going, it's hard to go wrong. If she turns you down, no biggie just move on to the next cutie.
     
  7. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    The asking part isn't rocket science. Coottie pretty much got it above.

    Whether or not she agrees to it depends way more on if she's interested in spending any outside time with you, as opposed to what you actually say when you invite her out. And that hinges on attraction, which is another story entirely.
     
  8. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    :x:Of course,
    How could I forget something so simple. Lab is next tuesday, so i'll make an update concerning my rejection/not
     
  9. Striker22

    Striker22 New Member

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    :bowdown::x:
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Be positive. Everytime you think of a negative....like she's going to reject you, force yourself to state something positive and affirming.

    It sounds silly and hokey but it can literally change your mood, if you'll allow it to. Most people won't or don't....for a variety of reasons.

    Good luck
     
  11. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    I'm a little bummed today. I'm worried about how race comes to play in a relationship. I'm Asian and she's Caucasian. My friend was saying that race plays a large factor for preference.

    I don't know, what do you think?
     
  12. ninethirtyfive

    ninethirtyfive New Member

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    Race def plays a factor in attraction. It's part of your physical make up. A rather large part actually. She my like it, she may not, or she may not give a shit. Same thing with your nose.
     
  13. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    Don't dwell on this shit and let it talk you out of doing it. If you don't go for it, I'll guarantee you'll never get her. If you do go for it, well I can't guarantee what'll happen then. ;)

    Also, perhaps you should get to know her a little better first, but not too much and get friendzoned.
     
  14. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    I live with this all the time :rofl: there's nothing you can do about it, so don't let it factor in.
     
  15. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Establish more rapport in the lab. Treat her like you would on a date right there in the lab. Then "tell" her, don't ask -- tell her, you would like to meet with her outside the lab, and set a specific time - or perhaps right after Lab like Cootie said. "Do you like Italian food or this or that etc -- hungry? I am, I'm going over to blah blah, you can join me if you would like?"

    This may sound weird, but if you establish rapport "in" the lab, it would flow well.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2008
  16. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Figure that out while building rapport. Music, family, goals, sports interests, hobbies, eating habits, working out -- whatever. The key is reading her body language and her actions. If her words, and actions are congruent, and she starts initiating conversations with you on her own, as well as touches you possibly, or if you can make her laugh you're on your way. Be you, but forget about the race thing, and don't be negative. Maintain an attitude of abundance. There are plenty of women, plenty of opportunities, and plenty of "good" things that can happen.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2008
  17. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Race, ignore it. She's either attracted or not.
     
  18. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    :noes:

    She said yes, so we're eating after chem lab (I asked her during chem lecture)

    Ahhhhhhhh i'm so nervous, chem lab is in 30 minutes! ends at 5pm....any last minute advice?
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2008
  19. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    crap no time to stay. :x: i have to go.
     
  20. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    :hyper:
     
  21. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    :noes: I'm back! and it went really well. we talked the whole way through, and before i knew it, an hour passed and she had to go to her recitation. I asked if she'd want to eat again someday and she said sure, definetely. =]

    now i have to figure out if i got friendzoned...

    need to go that extra mile now.
     
  22. Tzuma

    Tzuma New Member

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    Definite plans to talk to her outside of class/do something > "someday"

    Good luck, and definitely make your intentions more obvious next time "Can i sorta kinda like, maybe take you out, someday, maybe?" rarely works. Good luck!
     
  23. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You won't know if you got friendzoned till later. Stop sweating it....you have another date in the works. Enjoy the ride and just relax.

    So many people talk about the friendzone in completely unrealistic ways. Stop worrying and just have fun. If she's into you, you won't get friendzoned no matter what. If she's not, there's nothing you can do to prevent the friendzone so you see....it's out of your hands.

    Now relax and realize that up until last week you weren't even talking to her about anything. You're making progress. Focus more on the fun you had with her rather than on what may or may not happen in the future.
     
  24. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Avoid the friendzone by teasing her, being playful, and touching her every single chance you get (Rape does not constitute touching). Tug and pull her, be available, be detached, be available, then be detached. The key to doing this without manipulating is to simply live your life not thinking about her like a little puppy dog.

    Do your own thing, contact her occasionally in between as you get to know her. Avoid this extra mile bullshit. Don't go out of your way, seriously. Just treat her like a friend, a hot friend, that you're "going" to date, not "might" but "will. Treat her like she's already yours. Ask yourself "What does she have to offer me besides a pretty face?" -- it'll go a long way.
     
  25. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    I asked if she wanted to hang out this weekend, and she said yes. She then asked if I wanted to eat friday (today)

    Well when I came to meet her today to eat, she brought along like 6 of her girl friends. I dont understand, what just happened? It was pretty weird for me since it was unexpected and that I didn't know any of her friends. What just happened? I wasn't unreponsive and awkward, but i certainly wasn't having deep conversations.

    I dont know, I felt pretty bummed afterwards because 1: it wasn't just me and her, and 2: it was short.

    I dont know, should I still ask her if she's up for hanging out this weekend?
     

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