How to approach someone you don't know?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by KarmaPolice, Dec 18, 2005.

  1. KarmaPolice

    KarmaPolice Active Member

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    So, I was at a restaurant (TGI Fridays type place) the other day, and the hostess was really attractive and had a great smile (as i'm sure is a pre-req for that kind of job)... but anyway... the point being... how would you go about approaching someone like that with the following in mind.

    1) She's working, don't want to get her in trouble
    2) Don't want to appear like "every other guy" as i'm sure in a job like that they get their fair share of "lines"
    3) Don't really know anything about them other than that attraction

    Obviously this isn't the best situation to pick someone up since i know nothing about them, but i get that feeling that i'd like to know more...

    How would anyone out there approach such a situation without seeming rude and obnoxious?
     
  2. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    I'd go with number 2, if i wasnt shy :)
     
  3. johnny

    johnny shit, baby

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    hm...judging by your concern I would guess you are neither rude nor obnoxious in such situations, so maybe just be yourself and talk to her about something the next time you see her? :dunno:
     
  4. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd: Actually it's funny; the one and only time I've gotten a restaurant hostess' phone number was when we were standing around talking while I waited for a take-out order. Someone came running up and said a guy was choking, so she and one of her managers ran back to help... and after she got back she was like "whoa that was kinda scary." Boom, instant conversation starter. I just started asking her about how often stuff like that happened, etc. As it was I didn't even want her number by the time the conversation was over, but she gave it to me anyways. :o
     
  5. johnny

    johnny shit, baby

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    :cool:

    did you call?
     
  6. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    No. I can't remember the exact way it came up, but she mentioned something about that she smoked (not that I smelled it on her, but still....) so that was a deal breaker for me. :hs:
     
  7. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    1. On a napkin, write your first name and email address,
    2. When she gives you the check, tell her this was the best lunch (or whatever) you have had in a long time, and hand her the napkin, and
    3. Tell her that on the way out you are going to stop and talk to the manager about what great service you got from her, and then do just that.
    If she doesn't email you, she's not interested.

    This will accomplish several things (1) she now has a way to contact you if she is interested, (2) you won't get her in trouble for yapping at her for too long a time, (3) You keep yourself somewhat private by only giving out an email and first name, (4) you save yourself the embarrassment of being turned down in front of your friends, (5) she will really love to hear the compliment from her manager, and (6) emails are a very good way to get to know each other before you go to the trouble and expense of dating.
     
  8. johnny

    johnny shit, baby

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    I can't hold it against my girl cos I used to smoke, just like she does :hs:
     
  9. KarmaPolice

    KarmaPolice Active Member

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    I actually really like this idea!... and the one above about the conversation starter requires a little luck to have something to talk about instantly... but i could see that working well too... great ideas...
     
  10. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    That is pretty similar to what I would've suggested, although I would've still given your phone number. She may not have access to the internet (strange, but could be true)

    Great plan though :bigthumb: Goodluck, and let us know how you go
     
  11. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    I just think that two of those steps seem like sucking up too much for someone who gets hit on constantly?
     
  12. kevin1

    kevin1 New Member

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    But if you do it right, you stand out above the rest.
     
  13. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    Sometimes you need to suck up to get sucked on..........:rofl:
     
  14. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    That's what my husband said last night...
     
  15. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :bowrofl:
     
  16. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    I don't know. If she's cute and she's been a waitress for a while then she gets hit on by every other guy that's in there. She gets compliments left and right. I just think that saying something like "you served me the best food ever", especially if it's at a regular sit in restaurant, is just too much.'

    edit: upon re-reading it I think you mean saying something like "the food here was good but you made the experience more enjoyable" instead of what I originally thought. I mean, it's still nice, but if she gets stuff like this all the time it's not setting you apart or anything.

    I think unless she actually was the best waitress ever or puts alot of effort into her job for either of the two it's going to come off as too try-hardish.
     
  17. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    It is meant as a compliment to get her to contact him. Nothing more. The service could be horrible, but that isn't the point. The point is to go out of your way to compliment her so he can.........how should I phrase it........oh yeah......GET TO FIRST BASE. BTW - the sucky part was a joke.
     
  18. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    Ok, I now realize that the reason I disagree is because we share two fundamental differences in what attracts women. While you believe complimenting a woman will get you in her pants, I believe complimenting, especially if it's insincere, will get you nowhere.
     
  19. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    How about just being nice to the lady?? That's all I was saying.

    The "Get To First Base" meant she would email him. If all of us were more complimentary, wouldn't we all have more friends? Or, maybe that's just not your bag.....whatever.
     
  20. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    There is a difference between being nice and making a point about it by sucking up. Women percieve authenticity very well.

    He would have a much better chance of a second meet if he got her contact instead. Women will rarely call you first. If they're hot they won't waste their time calling someone when they have 10 other guys already talking to them. They'll get the number, and if you're lucky they'll show it to their friends and say how cute the guy who gave it to her was.

    I'm guessing the point of this thread was in reference to making more than just friends. He wants a relationship or to fuck or whatever. Making friends with the waitress isn't going to get him any of these things.
     
  21. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    This isn;t a discussion about the woman...this is a discussion about how a young gentleman might initially contact a lady he has a crush on without getting her in trouble at work. I notice your profile lists you at the age of 18 (which I seriously doubt), thus, how many ladies have you had the opportunity to meet, greet and date out of High School? You're way off topic here son. Being nice and bieng a gentlemen to ladies will get you a lot furhter than treating them like second hand citizens.
     
  22. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    my most successful "in" when the girl is working, is what are you doing after work.
     
  23. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :bigthumb: Or, to put it another way, "Welcome to an adult world."
     
  24. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    no that'll never work. best lunch you ever had my ass. complimenting the food/service isnt gonna do shit because 1. she didnt cook the food; 2. its not like she gives a damn she hates her job anyway, the only compliment that matters is a big tip 3. shes heard it all

    im not against approaching completely random strangers but i think the odds are greatly stacked against you when you do that. I think the best way is when you are in a different situation with the person and normal conversation is already occuring
     
  25. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    He's not going to get her in trouble by asking for her number, especially since the managers of most restaurants are rarely out on the floor watching the waitresses like hawks themselves.

    I'm 18. I just finished my first semester at UCF and have dated (not boyfriend/ girlfriend for reasons i'm not discussing in this thread, but just dated) 7 women since the beginning of the fall semester. I'm no Brad Pitt and I don't claim to be.

    This is very on topic. You're telling him to ignore his second thing in mind. All the other guys who hit on her suck up to her. She's been complimented on everything. Eyes, hair, food - everything. Telling her the food is great, especially if it sucked, isn't going to do anything in the way of attraction. Telling her you're telling the manager you're going to say how nice she was isn't going to do anything in the way of attraction. Sure, these are nice things to do and if you honestly do enjoy her company and the restaurant then there is nothing wrong with them. But if he wants her contact it's not the thing to do.

    I never said anything about treating them like second hand citizens. I merely said not to come off as try-hardish. I don't see how not complimenting a woman comes off as treating them like second hand citizens. Sure, nice can be a good thing, but not when it's run me over and put my balls on a silver platter nice.

    I personally rarely compliment women. It just hasn't done anything for me in the past besides put me in the "friend zone". I might smell a womans hair (obviously i've spent a few hours with her at this point) and tell her that it smells great, but that's about as far as it goes. If they want to be complimented they have to earn it by something other than their looks.
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2005

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