SRS How old is too old to live at home?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by YOURFACE, Jul 17, 2009.

  1. YOURFACE

    YOURFACE New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2006
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm a 24 year old woman and I've always lived with my parents, even during university. I never had a problem with it since my parents are laid-back and let me do whatever I want. I've been working a full-time job since graduating at age 22. I figured I would live at home for a year to save money. However, 1 year has turned into a little over 2 years.

    A part of me is scared to leave since with the recession going on and my company cutting salaries across the board, I don't know if my job is secure. I would be very comfortable staying at home another year. But a part of me feels like I am getting too old. For goodness sakes, I'll be 25 next year.

    So how old is too old to be living at home? I personally think I am near the maximum age. I don't want to hear any answers such as you are never to old, because let's be honest, it is strange for a 35 year old to have never lived on there own. I could justify living at home during college since I didn't have a good paying job, but I'm just not sure how much longer I can justify it. So what is the max, in you opinion? 21? 25? 30? 35?
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2004
    Messages:
    60,415
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    it depends on why.........it depends on the culture in your country.......it depends on the house.........it depends on a lot of stuff.

    but I'd say a 25 year old living at home for no reason other than "to save money" or "because I can't afford a house/apartment/condo" is strange.
     
  3. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2002
    Messages:
    64,128
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Philly, PA
    I would say 25 but you have good reasoning considering the state of the economy right now if you don't feel your job is stable don't get your own place yet
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    Shit I lived with my mom clear up until I was 24 and my brother was lived there too and he was 26 when he finally moved out. Everyone in our family told my mom to kick us out but we all loved the arrangement. It wasn't perfect but we had a blast.

    We paid rent, part of the bills and kicked in for food. Mom being the nurturing sort, didn't want us to pay too much and simply allowed us to live very cheaply in her home and it was wonderful. I look back on those days with great joy.....I really loved that time in my life.

    We talk about it often and many people tell me and her both that she allowed us to stay way too long and that we took advantage of her....but none of us think we did. Who's to say what's right and wrong for you other than you?? If you're OK with it, stay....if not, leave.

    I can assure you tho, when you do leave for good, give yourself plenty of time to adjust. Stay out for more than 1 year before considering another move. Find a roommate....they'll really help with the loneliness and boredom.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    I wouldn't put a number on it, it becomes a problem when living at home interferes or substitutes for you getting on with your life.

    And by the way, while I do agree it is a bit limiting for a 35 year old to "live at home" you don't have to "live at home" just because you share the same address as your parents.

    Meaning "living at home" denotes a certain lack of ultimate responsibility, the safety net, the lack of being on your own and being the "ultimate" decision-maker so to speak.

    Well, you can still move in that direction while at your parents' address.

    How?

    Live at arms length. Not by abandoning your parents but by establishing that you take responsiblity for yourself.

    Separate out your living space.
    Do your own laundry.
    Cook your own meals.
    Buy your own groceries.
    Refuse to allow your parents do these tasks for you.
    Keep your own hours (respectfully).
    and of course, PAY THEM RENT.


    A good trick that some wise parents do is to take that rent money, save it, and then turn that into one hell of a wedding present. Just mentioning...



    Though I still think you should start to think about leaving next year. Assuming your not destitute or unemployed.
    Job not that secure? Get a better job / education / promotion.

    Living at home shouldn't be a reason to settle for a lowly job or shaky future.
    You should be using this "at-home" time wisely by building up yourself and your career.

    good luck
     
  6. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    110,609
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    this is pretty much what i do now. i'm 24 and live at home, and my folks never asked for a dime, but i always give them something because they don't have to let me live there :dunno: I am now going back to school so I'm there for at least 2 more years. It's not like my parents nag me, etc. They like the fact that I'm there anyhow.
    I think there is a certain time to move out, but i have no clue when that time is :rofl: but with the economy, i can definitely see your point. i don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to save some money. in a lot of cultures, kids don't move out til marriage
     
  7. Anudist

    Anudist Turnin' Jesus on, one lightswitch at a time.

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    22,224
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mormon Central
    I moved out the second I could afford to. Dependancy is bad in any form.

    Living at home because it's cheaper is just not justifiable in my opinion. Yes you can save up for something better, but chances are, if you continue to put it off, you may do it indefinitely. It's scary doing it for the first time, but you learn more living on your own than you ever could if you're dependant on your parents supplying the roof over your head.
     
  8. 7960

    7960 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2004
    Messages:
    60,415
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    of course you did. you were an adult who got to act like a child. who wouldn't thing that was a blast and enjoy it?

    but that doesn't make it right.
     
  9. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2002
    Messages:
    19,344
    Likes Received:
    12
    You need how to live in yourself before you can live on your own.

    Many people leave their homes without having any proper psychology.

    They may fit into the "successful" category, but examine that they may also have many errors.

    If you are filled with the seeds of destruction or the delusion that your psychology is perfectly fine (our job is never done and we can work on ourselves to infinite degrees) then why would you want to form a household like that?

    My recommendation is that anyone who is blessed with such fine accommodations should enjoy them, our time with our physical parents is short in this world, shorter then our short life.

    Most importantly, it is a sick idea to compare yourself to a profoundly sick society. Remember that.
     
  10. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2005
    Messages:
    19,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    You're too old to live at home when your need for freedom and privacy overwhelms your need to have security provided to you for free.
     
  11. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2002
    Messages:
    19,344
    Likes Received:
    12
    But freedom and privacy... I live at home (22) and I have all I need of that.

    My mom might come in once in a while but I actually like it, despite me seeming like I don't. I'm recognizing that my parents only have so much longer to live, and they also have a quality of health I may not see in the future.

    I put it this way:

    When you are psychologically, emotionally and physically prepared to create a beautiful home filled with wonderful paintings, music, flowers and art, and filled with beautiful things, and when you as a person can show the same appeal to all loved ones that enter your home, then perhaps it is time.
     
  12. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2005
    Messages:
    19,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    Then again, you might never develop those skills if you mooch off your parents forever.
     
  13. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    if you are thinking you are getting to be too old, then you are.

    before you leave, figure out a game plan. so you are worried about your job? save up enough money in an emergency fund to let you survive comfortably for 3-6 months without an income. you will feel much better being on your own if you have that. if you have any debt (school loans, credit cards, etc) try to pay all that off before you leave as well. never again in your life will you have an opportunity like this, so take advantage before you head out. lastly, create a budget. try to track your spending on things such as groceries, gas, entertainment, bills, etc right now so you get an idea of what you will spend when you are on your own to help you figure out a good price range for the rent you can afford

    it might be scary, but its also an exciting thing to have your own place.
     
  14. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2005
    Messages:
    19,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    Also, make plans to do things with people after you move out. The shock of going from a noisy house with people in it to a quiet apartment by yourself can be quite distressing if you don't ease into it.
     
  15. OniMinion

    OniMinion ...recalls when this forum was actually about cars OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2005
    Messages:
    4,894
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Indiana/Minnesota
    :rofl::rofl::rofl:
    I totally though this was going to be a post regarding "when should grandma finally be put in a home..."

    I have a friend that is 33 and still lives with his Grandma (close enough to parents). That shit is sad, and good luck bringing a girl/guy home at that point.
     
  16. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    124,890
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Kc
    that line about saving money is bs, most people just end up buying more crap, going on more random trips, etc.... and burn up whatever money they are saving from rent.

    Someone with a full time real job shouldn't be mooching.
     
  17. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    110,609
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    Saving isnt bs if you are truly saving. Those who say that and have nothing saved need to re-evaluate what they are doing and what they want

    a side note, i know a lot of folks who would rather not rent and would rather save for a purchase. But everyone is different and it should matter to the individual and their family
     
  18. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2005
    Messages:
    19,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've saved $50,000 towards the purchase of a house since I've lived with my dad the past three years. What now?
     
  19. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    14,353
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brooklyn
    I think it varies on a lot of circumstances. In your situation I'd say that you have a legitimate reason. If you move out it's likely you'd have to sign to a 1 year lease. If something happens at your job in 3 months than you are going to be in a tight situation for at least 9 more months. I would say living at home for another 6 months to a year would be legitimate based on your job situation.

    People will always say that you should move out the summer you graduate high school because they did it so it's possible for anybody to do it. But what they don't tell you is that they really want to see people go through the same shit as they did. Stuff like no free time, bills, stress etc. I don't see a point in all that since life is too short. But that's getting a bit off topic since your older than that.

    If it was not for your job situation I'd say it would likely be time for you to either A-pay your share of the utilities, X amount for rent and buying your own things such as groceries, toilitries etc. Or B-move and out on your own.

    I dont' see a problem living at home for a long time if you pay for everything and do your own chores. Some people live at home because the area that they live in is pretty expensive for their budget and the place that is within your budget is the ghetto. I wouldn't want my daughter moving into the ghetto just to prove she's mature enough to live on her own.

    I lived at home longer than most because I was still in school (as I am still) and I was saving up for a house. But I realized that to buy a house even though I had money saved I'd still have to get a better job with more money. Because of school I knew that was not possible until I was done with school. So I decided it was time to move out and I enjoy it. It's not bad but I have a good roommate so I'm lucky.
     
  20. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    14,353
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brooklyn

    True, renting is throwing away money and sometimes dealing with poor living conditions.
     
  21. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    14,353
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brooklyn

    Excellent advice about the "never again in your life will you have an opportunity like this"

    This is why i was not in a hurry to move out. Why be in a hurry to move out at 18 years old versus 24 when you have the rest of your life to do so?

    Do what you think is best for YOUR life. Because your the one who has to deal with the decisions. Not somebody who says it's time to move out.
     
  22. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    you talk about moving out like its this new horrible thing. yes, you have new responsibilities, bills, and things you must take care of on your own, but i think it is awesome to live on my own. if you are an adult, you should be able to handle those things just fine. dont freak the TS out

    and there is no reason the TS shouldnt be helping with the rent/bills at home right now. they have a job, they are just worried about loosing it. just like everyone else right now. its part of life, you learn to deal
     
  23. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    14,353
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brooklyn

    Maybe you misunderstood my point. I'm not saying it's bad to move out at 18. I was simply making a point that people in this forum will come in and say that you should move out at 18 because they did and it is possible.

    In this day and age with the way prices are always going up it's a lot harder to have the same things our parents did at our age. Sure college is more affordable but having a college degree is more necessary. It used to be that you could get plenty of jobs out of high school that could pay you enough to buy a nice house. Those times (at least where I live) are long gone.

    But then again we do spend money on a lot more stuff than our parents did. I.e. cell phones, playstations etc..
     
  24. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2003
    Messages:
    12,002
    Likes Received:
    0
    I used to think people should be out on their own as soon as they finished school & had a job. Now I think it makes no sense, unless there's not enough room or a clash of personalities.

    I mean, why move out otherwise? It doesn't benefit anybody in the family. You're paying rent to a stranger, and probably paying more than if you had stayed at home. So you're missing an opportunity to help your folks out financially, plus spending more than you would have otherwise. You can also help with taking care of the home, plus it's nice to have the company around, especially if your parents are older, I'm sure.

    Married then I guess that's a good time to move out but otherwise it just doesn't seem necessary to me
     
  25. YOURFACE

    YOURFACE New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2006
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    I actually used the time I spent at home to pay off my student loans and most of my car note. I have some savings, about $10K, but I just don't feel secure in this economy. I'm in oil&gas, where there have been layoffs and hiring freezes in the entire industry. I actually have a bachelors, so going to school to further my education won't help me much. If anything, it seems like the people who have been working longer/have more education have been laid off due to them costing the company more.

    I just need some advice to help me feel more at ease with the whole economy.
     

Share This Page