SRS how many chances b4 letting go...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by pippystarluv, Jul 17, 2007.

  1. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    I've dated this guy for about three years and now we're not together anymore... it's been on and off for a year... I know that I love this guy and i can't love no other the way I love him. I've tried so many times to move on, like dating other people, but it's just not the same... at the end of the night and in the beginning of each morning, i drown myself with thoughts of him. Only wishing to be next to him. I know that he wants to be with me too but we're both still young and there's still lots to explore out there... should I wait for him? Or move on? Or should I tell him how I feel and see where it goes from there? You know, cuz I don't want to mess around with other guys, I want something real, not artificial.
     
  2. Bear Klaw

    Bear Klaw Guest

    it wont work out. move on, deal with it, find yourself. Find someone else. DOn't waste your life
     
  3. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    it's so hard to try and love someone new... i know it is possible but i guess deep down inside i don't want to. he was my first love, and those are always difficult to let go. i know i'm a strong person and i know i need to go on with life.
     
  4. CaliforniaPlaya

    CaliforniaPlaya New Member

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    First loves rarely work out pippy. As romantic as it sounds, its just a fact that they don't. You're right, first loves are usually the hardest to get over. Are you still friends with him? If you are, take that, although that sometimes hurts.
    You don't sound like you're ready for another relationship at this time, so take a break. Don't go 'looking' for one. One will come when its time and usually when you least expect it.
    It sounds like hes a good guy, but sometimes things don't work out, for many reasons. Don't forget the good times. But don't dwell on it and don't waste your precious time waiting for something that may not ever happen.
    Best wishes 2 u!
     
  5. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    i guess we all have different priorities and that makes it tough... honestly, i don't know where we stand in a friendship so i guess the answer to your question is no, we're not friends. i don't think i would want to be his friend because to be his friend is to be able to accept the fact that i will be replace and to be okay to watch it happen; i'm a strong person, but weak when it comes to love... i know that's my weakness. i will always remember the good times. thanks for the wish :big grin:
     
  6. CaliforniaPlaya

    CaliforniaPlaya New Member

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    Then its time to start moving on pippy. And that doesn't mean moving on to someone else, but just freeing yourself of him.Yea it hurts, but to wait and have nothing come out of it would hurt more. Our short time on this Earth is so precious, it shouldn't be wasted. Theres billions of people on this planet and obviously one right guy for you. Its just a matter of finding him, and that should be the fun part! So have fun!
     
  7. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    How old are you both? Trust me you'll find that kind of love again you just have it in your mind that you won't. You sound a little dependent on him you should really get out and try to be more independent and find happiness with yourself.
     
  8. girlygirl18t

    girlygirl18t New Member

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    +1 million. I wasted almost three years of my life on a complete liar. He said he loved me, but he was fucking every thing he could (while claiming I was his first). He was not worth the time other than it taught me an important life lesson. Some people will say anything to get what they want. In this case my paycheck, nothing else. He was a non worker, but always had a "valid" reason. I found out later he had gotten a girl pregnant while he was with me. Still deny's it and the kid.

    I must have turned my brain off for at least two years. That is my only explaination. But I have a great life now. Soon to be husband and son. A great job where I just got a promotion.

    The only advice I can give you is to Focus on yourself!!!! Do/learn something you have been thing about trying. Get in shape. Focus on work to further you career. The thoughts will go away after a while.

    BTW- there is justice for a@@holes they do get exactly what they have coming to them in the end.
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Beginnings of a dysfunctional relationship, right here.

    Think about it from this from the guy's perspective, and it will be easier to see how you are being used and manipulated.

    He can go off and be with other women whenever he wants, when he gets tired of you...and you will still want to be with him. When he has a dry spell, needs some attention, he can come back to you, because you will always be there.

    You're his backup. He doesn't really want to be with you, but he's not going to officially end anything, because right now, he can always come back to you.

    Get it?
     
  10. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    First Loves are the hardest, it took me months to get over mine. I find erasing their phone number, screen name, email, pictures, etc... is a good first step.

    Honestly I would just end it and move on to someone who wants to be with you. Someone who really wants to be with you won't play these games.
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Pippy:
    giving someone third, fourth, fifth, sixth.....etc.... chances doesn't make them come back or make them faithful, or make them want to stay with you.

    This relationship is over. No more chances.
    I know you can't bear to bring yourself to declare it over, and so you give "more chances". But that's doing nothing but hurting yourself.
     
  12. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    i'm 21 and he's 22. yeah, i'm somewhat was dependent on him because we both went away to college together and being in a new crowd, he was the only person i knew and trust. i started meeting people and joined a sorority but he didn't like it, he didn't like the idea of me hanging with frats... but soon enough after we broke up, he was quick to join a frat.. i fought for this relationship, and sometime love just isn't enough so yeah, i agree, it's time to move on. i do enjoy the single life, i meet a lot of people but now i have the mentality that every guy i date or talk to is going to cheat on me... i need to overcome that because everyone is not the same. thanks for listening or reading i should say.
     
  13. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    thanks! i'm getting back into the game of dating... there's this guy at work, he has a crush on me and he sent me flowers today :big grin: i haven't felt that special in a long time. and we have a lunch date tomorrow so, *cross fingers* that it goes well. i know i'm not ready to move on yet, but i have to take that step at some point so, i'm going to make it now. wish me luck!
     
  14. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    i hope karma bites him in the ass, and i hope it's hard too. i didn't deserve to be treated that way. it's so disgusting how you could love someone so much one day and the next, not love them at all... believe it or not, it's definitely an over night transition... it's sickening, but it's life. it's a step closer to meeting mr. right :big grin:
     
  15. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    i get it! if he wanted to be with me at the end, should had and still be sticking with me to begin with. not ifs and buts. i appreciate your opinion, especially from a guys perspective.
     
  16. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    well, let me ask you this... would you rather be with someone you really love and doesn't love you, or with some that loves you a ton and you dont really care for them?
     
  17. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    ever loved someone so much that you're willing to do anything to be with them? i rather have myself feel hurt and be with them versus having them out of my life... i do think about it and it's stupid to have such absurd thoughts and i do kick myself for feeling that way... so now i'm taking the big step of doing things for myself, trying to find bliss with in myself and from true soulmates, which are my friends. thanks for the comment.
     
  18. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    obvously if you are having so many problems with each other, you really dont love each other.
    you are just afraid of being alone.
     
  19. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    i get what you are saying and ive felt the way that you just said. But from experience, we can only take so much of that pain. At some point you are going to reach your limit and wont be able to take it anymore. Once that happens, you will move on and realize how foolish you were to hold onto it for so long.
     
  20. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    very true, i've conclude at that before. i'm not a stupid girl, i realize these things... and you may say that i'm stupid for giving in so many times... i know that it's stupid but i have to do it until it hurts so much that i can't take it anymore, so it'll push me to move on. if i could bare it, i wouldn't want to move on. does that make sense?
     
  21. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    yes, that was the plan... i know i'll feel foolish at the end... but i think it's a process that i have to finish. i need to end this problem hating this guy to be able to let go. i loved him too much, so hate would be the opposite and in hopes, it'll solve the problem.
     
  22. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    you wont get over him if you still hate him. you need to feel content with everything that happend and be able to accept it for what it is. Once you can do that you will be able to free yourself of most of the negative feelings you have towards him.
     
  23. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    well its good that you can actually see it.

    you sound a lot like a girl who i am in love with, she is just afraid of being alone, so she keeps going back to her old boyfriend.
     
  24. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    my advice to you my friend, you should show that girl you like, that there's a bigger world out there rather then the corner she hides in. give her comfort, ler her know that you're there for her... like you've said, she's afraid, be her guiding light and maybe one day she'll fall in love with you too.
     
  25. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    i know, but one step at a time.
     

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