how long should i wait?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Mojo, Mar 24, 2007.

  1. Mojo

    Mojo New Member

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    ill keep it as short as possible. met a girl at the gym and got her number on thursday. i basically asked her what day she was off and if she wanted to kick it (friday/today). she replied with sure. so i asked for her number and she gave it to me. called her on friday afternoon, no answer. called back 4 hours later and left a msg with my name/call back number. still no answer.
    how long shall i wait til i call back? what do situations like this mean? it'll be arkward cause i usually hit the gym during evening and she'll be working (she works at the gym) tomorrow (sat).
     
  2. Nightrox

    Nightrox I'm a brownie

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    Prob wouldnt call again if you already called twice and left a message with call back #
     
  3. otherlank

    otherlank OT Supporter

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    You called twice and left your information. The ball is in her court now. I wouldn't call again.
     
  4. Mojo

    Mojo New Member

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    this is prob the 3rd time this has happened to me. does anyone else encounter this?
     
  5. Limited Edition

    Limited Edition New Member

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    Test her for our enjoyment.

    Get a friend to call her asking for "Sarah."
    Then you call her and she if she picks up.
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    It happens to most guys at one time or another.

    Most women want to spare your feelings, so they agree to your request initially, then flake out later on when you call or after the date is set.
     
  7. Jackie Treehorn

    Jackie Treehorn Active Member

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    Yeah this has happened to me a couple times. :squint: The last time really threw me, I thought she was genuinely interested. Guess not.

    And no I would not call again. I wouldn't even bring it up at the gym next time you see her, just be indifferent.
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Yeah that sucks. That's why its important not to get your hopes up.

    You should base your estimate of her interest level solely on her actions. Her giving her number doesn't really tell you much because girls will give out their numbers for all sorts of reasons.

    When she accepts your date invitation and shows up as scheduled, that's when you know she is interested.

    I would be upbeat and if the subject comes up, make sure she knows that she missed out on a good time.

    You should always be operating from the frame of reference that you are constantly meeting women and constantly getting numbers. If one girl is unavailable, the date still happens as planned because the next girl on the list is dying for a chance to see you.

    By planning a date, you are creating the opportunity for a woman to spend time with you and get to know you.

    If you have several different women as potential dates, then you are never dependent or focused on the actions of one girl in particular.
     
  9. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    If you do 'insta-dates' you never get flaked. IE: "Hey, what are you doing right now? I'm off to get coffee/drink/whatever and could use some company."
     
  10. Mojo

    Mojo New Member

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    went to the gym and saw her at the front counter. she gave me a cheesy smile when i walked in and i smiled back. she apologized for not calling back and i said it was ok. she then says "ill tell you later why". so i go workout and on the way out, i said to her "what were you going to tell me?". she replied with "its nothing, nevermind". i said "ok", then i left.
    im a little confused. if im guessing right, it sounds like she may have a bf and was afriad to call another man and/or doesnt want that type of "relation" towards me.
    :confused:
     
  11. mick_dundee

    mick_dundee New Member

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    Take her word for it that it's nothing and try again. If it doesn't work out then fine but at least she is still talking to you and wanted to tell you something so you may as well take one, just one more stab at it.
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Its ok for women to flake out on you?

    You've got to stand up for yourself. You don't have to get confrontational, but you should have at least thrown in a "Don't be sorry, I had a great time!"

    Or I would have probably said something like "It worked out great. I'd rather find out now that you are a flake than later."

    Now she's being mysterious about why she flaked. But remember folks, women don't play games! :rofl:

    Maybe she forgot to think up a good excuse.

    I'm not sure exactly how she feels about you. I would suspect she had at least some interest initially.

    Break down what happened here:

    She gave her number and agreed to see you. She then received your calls and chose not to answer. Don't tell me she might have been busy. Girls are never too busy to use their phone, and if they are briefly, they will check the phone right away.

    So you see her at the gym and she says sorry and right away you let her off the hook. What message does this send to her?

    Everything you do sends a message. By not calling her on her bullshit, you send her the message that she is of higher value than you, and she would be doing you a favor if she spent time with you. And that you are willing to just wait around and see what crumbs she will toss your way.

    It wasn't ok. So don't tell her its ok when its not.

    Then she teases you with her excuse but doesn't come right out with it. If for some reason I told her it was ok, then she said "I'll tell you why later" I would have said something like "Why are you bringing up old shit?" or whatever came to my mind at the time.

    But I damn sure wouldn't have thought about her my whole workout, then went to her and asked her what the excuse was like you did.

    And then to further show that she knows she is the prize, she won't even tell you the excuse. And you just accept that and go away with your tail between your legs.

    Reward the behavior you like, punish the behavior you don't.

    Why did you return her smile when you walked in? That right there told her everything she needed to know...

    This whole thing was a test, and you failed miserably because you weren't prepared.
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2007
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Why would he take her word for anything? All she's done here is write checks with her mouth that her ass isn't willing to cash.

    If she wanted to tell him something, she would have told him.

    He even came back and asked, and she said "Its nothing."

    Which is true, he is nothing to her.
     
  14. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    Yail Bloor, always full of words of wisdom!
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Full of something, anyways ;)
     
  16. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Dude, you blew it. You got her number and you called the NEXT day, and you called TWICE?

    Don't ever do that again.

    The key is to be (1) busy and (2) already have plans on Friday and Saturday nights because (3) you have a life and are dating other women.

    If I had gotten a number from a woman on a Thursday, I would have called her the following TUESDAY and asked her out for Wednesday or Thursday night.

    You called the next day, twice, which screams "I'm single, desperate, and want to get laid!" No woman wants that. Women want men who have self control and can wait more than 24 hours to call. Women want a man who has a life. When you called and left a message, you gave away all your power as well.

    For reference, please tell me EXACTLY what message you left, and I can probably suggest how to improve upon that as well. ;)

    You violated the #1 rule about calling, in my opinion, which is 5-7 days, 10-14 tops.

    Toss her number and try again.
     
  17. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Next time say "Hey, I *TOTALLY* understand, you don't have to play that game. I'll see ya' around." and walk away. Polite but uninterested.

    No, she says "I have an excuse." and you're supposed to be "Hey, I know all about Ed McMahon and the prize you may have already won! That stuff is important! Anyway, I gotta go work out, see ya."

    You're quite the master of conversation assuming that is truly all you said to her. Therein lies the problem. You're boring her, and she's trying to get rid of you. If you can't say more than "ok" for 2/3rds of the time you speak with a woman, you're dead before you even start.

    What's to be confused about? Sounds like you were boring, didn't get the clue, can't take a hint, and need to work on actually creating some attraction. Check out www.DoubleYourDating.com as his advice can get you going on the right track.
     
  18. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    For a third translation: The first part is her not wanting to come out and say that she didn't want to call you back. So, she stalls, says "I'll tell you the excuse later". She hoped you got the hint at this point.

    When she said "nothing, nevermind" it's because she didn't have an excuse. She just plain didn't want to call you/go out with you.

    And you worrying about her having a bf or whatever is pointless. Your post really should have just ended after "then I left". It doesn't matter if she has a bf or not, or whatever. She clearly SHOWED YOU that she didn't want anything to do with you. Don't waste your time or energy worrying about the possibilites of WHY. That shows you think she is still interested in you. Stop making excuses to yourself. Accept what she has told you, and put her out of your mind.
     
  19. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    ^^^ Yup.

    Actions speak louder than words here....
     
  20. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    your approach just screams being desperate and showing how much you care is not the way to go.

    the line I put in bold is a pathetic thing to say and will make you look like a complete fool. She doesnt owe you anything, and youre an idiot to make it a point to try and burn her.

    To the threadstarter, just be cordial with her, dont go out of your way to talk to her, but dont ignore her or act like a pussy either. Act like it doesnt bother you one bit (which it shouldnt) and go about your business at the gym.
     
  21. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Personally, I tend to say something that signals that I understand that she is not interested, and at the same time that I was not waiting on her. I might say something like "Hey, I totally understand. I wish you all the best in the future, and I've got plans so ... bye! :) "
     
  22. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    dude even that is fucking lame...

    wish you the best in the future!? :wtf:

    he just met this chick and got her #, they havent been friends or dating for years :greddy:
     
  23. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Yeah, now that I think about it, that is pretty weak ... I don't think I've ever said that... :noes:

    I'm not feelin' it right now... :squint:
     
  24. Mojo

    Mojo New Member

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    thanks for the advice everyone. honestly, im horrible with talking to women in general. im too much of a nice guy as well. but i never thought of it that way and will definately bring this thread to my mind whenever i try again.
     
  25. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    holy shit look at you guy analyzing every single moment!! LOL if only she knew there are all these dudes trying to interpret what she did..

    Honestly you guys are putting too much thought into this. The original poster probably not enough, and Yail Bloor & PocoDiable (great advice BTW) sometimes you overanalyze things and make it complicated..

    But in essence, you shoulda been just INDIFFERENT. I personally wouldnt even say anything just walk in and ignore her.
     

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