how long do I wait before pursuing?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by 101wr, Apr 10, 2009.

  1. 101wr

    101wr New Member

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    so this past October I met a really cool chick at school....same major which meant we worked together a lot outside of the classroom. we vibe pretty well. I had heard from others that she found me attractive, but she had a bf, so I sorta kept my distance. between then and now, we've been hanging out on and off as friends, nothing more than that.

    I come to find out the other day that she has broken up with her bf of about a year.....she says he wasn't the right fit for her. I still have a feeling that she's somewhat interested in me....but I don't want to be the typical 2 week rebound guy. should I wait a little while before pursuing here or just go for it now? based on how she speaks of the breakup, she doesn't seem too hurt/heartbroken over it :hs:
     
  2. 101wr

    101wr New Member

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    I was just a little surprised because the day after they broke up (I didn't know at the time), she showed to meet me at a bookstore in a very low cut top, high heels, and wearing perfume. I know she dressed up specifically to meet me. two months ago she would have been wearing a hoodie, jeans, and sneaks :o
     
  3. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    The two longest relationships I've ever been in started immediately after one of us got out of a serious relationship. There will surely be different views on this subject, but personally, I don't believe rebounds are necessary.
     
  4. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    can't really be a rebound if you don't let enough time pass between it.....lol
     
  5. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Well, in that case the girl likes you. Rebound or not, its a step in the door. I may be the bad guy saying that, but if there was interest in you while she had a man, technically you're not a rebound.

    Go for it, sooner than later. Maybe something along the lines offfffffff

    "Sooooooo, now that you're single, I wouldnt be out of line if I asked you to come out to get (insert drinks, movie, dinner, etc here), would I?"
     
  6. Joybang

    Joybang New Member

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    How serious was her last relationship and how broken up is she about it? Honestly, if it was just a "so-so" type thing and they just didn't click I wouldn't wait too long. If she was way broken up over the thing then I would stay away for a while.
     
  7. maybeitsyou

    maybeitsyou New Member

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    dooo ittttt....
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    do NOT fall into the trap of being the guy she talks to about her past relationship
     
  9. 101wr

    101wr New Member

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    she didn't seem broken up over it at all. she was the one who broke up with him. she would never mention him when they were together and I'm pretty sure they didn't spend a lot of time together when they were dating.

    the consensus seems to be "go for it sooner than later." I have no problem asking her out, but should I specifically say the word "date" so she understands my intentions? I've asked her to hang out plenty of times before....I don't want her to think that I just want to hang out as friends again.
     
  10. 101wr

    101wr New Member

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    hmmm, this goes against what most people are saying here :o
     
  11. 101wr

    101wr New Member

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    I guess I'm just a little worried because if the timing is off, I don't want to lose her as a friend regardless of what her answer is (and she is a good friend).

    but I guess it's inevitable that you jeopardize the friendship when you push for more :hs:
     
  12. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

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    Everytime you try to cross the friend > SO gap your bound to have some possibility of losing them. You have to weigh your options. But if you want to, i say go for it.
     
  13. 101wr

    101wr New Member

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    bump for more opinions :o
     
  14. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    Make a move ASAP
     

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