SRS How lonely is life?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Mint, Aug 26, 2008.

  1. Mint

    Mint Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    5,208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southern Cali
    How lonely is everyone here?
    I know some of you married folk may have different answers.

    I'm asking the typical average person.

    Since highschool 95% of my friends got involved with weed - I didn't want to get involved in that crowd. Now that I'm in community college, its hard to find people with the same goals and morals I have. Its hard to find other friends really serious about their futures and those are the only people i really want to surround myself with. Will this change when I transfer to a university?

    I have friends - I'm by no means friendless, but I went from hanging out with buddies every single day, to once every couple days. Being single, I don't have that girlfriend company many others have.

    I used to think of myself as a pretty damn social guy - and in high school (class of 07) i was very happy with my social life - i don't feel like thats there anymore.

    I've recently broken up with my girlfriend and i know thats still partly effecting me. But just to prove it to myself that "i still got game" I've been trying to hookup with this one girl at one of my classes. (By hookup, i don't mean sexually i mean socially)

    In all honesty - shes only cute and it doesnt seem like we got much in common. I'm a fairly good looking guy - So I know the attraction is there.
    However, she seems like the type thats into "gangsta" guys (i'm not at all). I got her phone number and I've made it fairly obviously I'm somewhat intertested in her, but with this girl I can't seem to hold a converstaion with is it just because we're so different, or is it because I suck socially?

    Am I just like everyone else? How social i am?

    How lonely is life and if this is normal do people just handle it differently?
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2008
  2. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    When I was in CC I really only hung out with my friends from work or high school, you're right, it was really hard to meet people with similar goals and interests.
    Once I moved on to University (post GECs) I started making several friends (as in, hung out wiht outside of class) in almost every class.
     
  3. tomacco

    tomacco OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2004
    Messages:
    1,865
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    You seems like a social type person, as far as the girl you want to hook up with it just that you guys got nothing in common like you said. I think transfer to a Univ can open you social circle bigger, so good luck on that.

    Life for me sometime is boring. I have a gf and sometime when I'm not with her I feel bored. So I call my friend to hang out, but sometime they are busy with their life as well. So I try to have few hobbies and interest to keep myself busy.
     
  4. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,955
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    I found CC's really difficult to make friends at. Mine were composed of all the bad kids from HS who all knew each other. At a uni you'll rarely run into someone who has no motivation or goals. People can be friendly at either though. Get to class early and talk to anyone who's waiting outside.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I was lonely at one point about 4 years ago....but that's because I had to start completely from scratch with friends.
     
  6. Rich

    Rich New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2007
    Messages:
    5,225
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Orlando, FL
    When you transfer to a university there will be the same amount of people that smoke pot.

    Hell, at my school they have meetings for NORML and everything.
     
  7. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,773
    Likes Received:
    518
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
  8. Maffy29

    Maffy29 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2004
    Messages:
    7,799
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Life is lonely. I'm sitting in a hotel room in southern Arizona on a trip for military training. When I'm in class, its cool. I'm cool 99% of the time. I can always find something to fill the time. I had a young lady come out to see me this past weekend. I have been seeing her for a little while and I really enjoy her company. There is real potential there. She left yesterday morning to head back to Pennsylvania. I read your question and suddenly the silence is more noticable...
     
  9. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    45,979
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    TX
    In the end, all you have is yourself. No matter what, all you have is yourself.
     
  10. KSNIPPY

    KSNIPPY As lost as i get i will find you

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2004
    Messages:
    1,026
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    souf
    hmmm...so true
     
  11. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    It's because she likes thuggy guys and you're better than that so you don't have much in common. Don't waste your time with her.

    I also suck with chicks who like gangsta guys, except the difference is I don't care because that's not the type of woman I want, anyway.
     
  12. Mint

    Mint Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    5,208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southern Cali
    I'm not interested in her anyway - she just has a nice rack. :x:
    After reading that a lot of you are like this as well - I see that i'm really no different than anyone else. So I'm not worried about it anymore.

    My game with girls is a little thrown off from being in a relationship - but I'll get it back.:wiggle:


    For now, i'm really not going to pursue any relationship with any woman - if a good one walks into my life, great. But until I'm done with college - I'm not going to go out of my way to look.

    Thanks guys.
     
  13. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    8,396
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronots
    Everyones lonely...

    It's interesting cause I met up with my elementary school best friend who I haven't seen in 9 years.

    We called each other up and realized what path each of us taken.

    Me:
    Went to university, pretty 3rd tier, got a degree in architecture. Now I work for a firm and live by myself on a very modest salary. But I never had a relationship before.

    My complaint: I was lonely because I always was preoccupied with something else and was shy.

    Him:
    Went to 1st tier university, and took a degree in algebraic math & physics, got into a 4 year relationship (the girl seeked him out and it was his first long term relationship) and based his life around her, when she dumped him he failed out of his school and now has to retake a year.

    His complaint: He gave up his life for a girl and she ruined everything for him.


    So, as you can see, each side has positives or negatives.. I certainly much rather be in my position than his.
     
  14. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    8,396
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronots
    My advice: ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
     
  15. Mint

    Mint Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    5,208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southern Cali
    Thanks for the post :)
     
  16. glass

    glass New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2004
    Messages:
    400
    Likes Received:
    0
    - the one person i've seen most in the last 10 months (outside work), i've seen a total of 6 times.

    - i have a bunch of guys who call me out to hit clubs and such, but that was never my thing (used to go, not lately). i'd rather have a charged conversation in a quite place over some sort of beverage. i haven't had an honest, meaningful conversation in almost a year.

    - on days when i feel like celebrating, i literally don't know who to call up to share my cheerful disposition. said cheer dies soon afterwards.
     
  17. Mint

    Mint Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    5,208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southern Cali
    Look for friends who share your interests and passtimes? (talking in quiet places as opposed to clubs) and surround yourself with those people as much as possible, and big strong friendships.

    I'd also recommend getting into some kind of PHYSICAL hobby.
    Gym, some sport, etc... You'll meet tons of people that way.

    What i've also learned is despite your differences in interests and priorities, its good to maintain a relationship with those friends -- even if you dont like to go clubbing with them.On days they dont wanna go clubbing, perhaps invite them over for a few beers (if you drink) and watch a game or something.

    You know, just kick it.:coolugh:
     
  18. glass

    glass New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2004
    Messages:
    400
    Likes Received:
    0
    haha.. this is kinda ironic. whenever someone posts about feeling depressed my first tendency is to tell them to pick up a sport or hit the gym. it always slips my mind at the moment that a physically active guy can be depressed.

    but yes, you're right about finding people who share your interests. hard part is most of my interests (before i dropped them) were a waste of time.. i'll have to find some hobbies that aren't.
     
  19. Matt550

    Matt550 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2001
    Messages:
    8,569
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Littleton Colorado
    Im single, it would be nice to have a girlfriend. But not that big of a deal right now.
     
  20. KSNIPPY

    KSNIPPY As lost as i get i will find you

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2004
    Messages:
    1,026
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    souf
    ummm truthfully i dont reallyknow the answer to this question. but i would have to say that it just depends on where you are in life i guess.

    truthfully im very lonley right now. but this makes sense considereing the girl i was dating and really felt soemthing with broke up with me recently. as much as i hate to say it and i know it isnt right but i feel lonley when i dont have a SO. yes i have a few great friends that i can talk to about anything and are always around. but it seems like whenever i dont have a SO i feel incomplete and that something is missing from me. i know i shouldnt base my happiness on somebody else, this is just something that ive noticed about myself. so unfortuantely i end up feeling lonly a good bit.
     
  21. Japan Four

    Japan Four Guest

    life is as lonely as you make it. just change your mind about how you want to live it.
     
  22. wilyfem

    wilyfem Guest

    Actually I was the loneliest in my life when I was married :hs:
     
  23. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    45,979
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    TX
    why?
     
  24. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,955
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    that's sad :hs:
     
  25. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite

    I think you need to stop obsessing over the particular tastes of this one girl.

    If you like her, ask her out. If she rejects you, accept that answer and move on.

    Refuse to have your life defined by what others choose for you. Choose for yourself. Who cares if she likes "gangsta" boys. You can't know that for sure, and anyways its irrelevant.

    ASK HER OUT. If she surprises you, great. If she disappoints, thats no big deal either.

    I hope that all this overthinking is just due to your recent breakup.

    Get back out there.

    Life is only as lonely as you make it.

    AS YOU MAKE IT.
     

Share This Page