SRS How important is sex in a relationship? (moved)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Stilgar1973, Sep 1, 2006.

  1. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    By the time that 6am rolls around this will probably turn into part 1 of a 7 part series.
    I am kind of depressed about my current relationship, I have a lot of questions in my head and I am curious what others have to say about those questions.

    At some point I will move this crap over to the asylum. But for the moment I think I can ask this question here.

    Here is the deal.
    By my very nature I am adventurous. I get a lot of enjoyment out of the extreme side of things. As an example, my Father and I have traveled - twice - 500 miles to go to an amusement park that at different points in its existence laid claim to the tallest and fastest roller coaster in the world - 3 times!

    The amusment parks in my area are fine. But the idea that I could ride 3 of the worlds tallest and fastest, and it was ONLY 500 miles away is just too tempting of a thing for me.

    Okay the question of sex.
    I am really turned on by BDSM. I haven't done it too much in relationships. Actually, for being 33 I haven't had many relationships.
    I have been in my current relationship for a year now, it is the longest relationship I have had - by 9 months - in a decade. I have always imagined that as a relationship went on and on we would get more and more experimental with sex. We would try new things. Some things we would like and others we wouldn't. Keep the good and toss out the bad. This idea has always been very exciting to me.

    Well. My girlfriend couldn't possibly be less interested and couldn't possibly be more turned off by BDSM. It is like, for the last year all we do is the missionary position. I am getting positively bored of it. I have tried tying her down once or twice but she is so not into it that it infects me. It is like, what fun is this if the other person looks bored out of her skull?

    Hell the other day I yanked a feather boa (another one of my turn ons) out of a drawer, threw it around her neck and said 'Dance for me bitch!'.
    It was our last night in our apartment.
    She looks at the boa and goes, 'I don't understand your fascination with this. This is stupid.'. And takes it off.
    No, no dancing occured.

    I would kill for a BJ. She simply won't do it. Nadda. Nope. Never. She says 'I have to be in the mood'. Please. That is code for 'if it hasn't happened yet it won't!'.

    It is like, sexually we aren't right for each other.

    So my question is this. Pretend for a moment everything else in the relationship is peachy keen. It isn't. Not by a long shot. Like I said other posts will come. But pretend it is.

    If everything else is alright and what I described is the only downside of the relationship, what is your opinion?
    Would you end it over that?
    Is it not worth ending it over that?
    Would it be selfish to even think it?
     
  2. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    The Asylum or the Vag forum would probably be a better place for this thread. There are also threads in the Vag forum about how important sex is or should be in a relationship.

    Is sex the *only* issue in your relationship right now? How long have you been together? How old are the two of you? Do you plan on marrying her?
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    If there were sex problems, I would look for other problems that were causing the sex problems.
     
  4. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    I am 33 she is 34.
    We have been dating for a year.
    Like I said in the thread there are other problems. But this problem sticks out in my head.
    I was single for 10 years largely because I failed to get my depression in check. When I 'discovered' BDSM I made a promise to myself that it would never be so important a factor in a relationship that I would askew a healthy relationship because it was missing.
    The thoughts that have been running through my head over the last three weeks are dangerously close to breaking that promise.

    Hence the thread.
     
  5. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    Honestly, you're going to get better answers here... good luck.
     
  6. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Wow, you sure know how to turn a girl on. I can't imagine why she wouldn't want to do that for you :hsugh:
     
  7. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    Luckily I wasnt trying to turn you on.
    Well lucky for me anyways.
     

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