How early is too early for SO to move in?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by OFI, Oct 3, 2006.

  1. OFI

    OFI New Member

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    Well? How early is too early? I'm in a LDR we haven't been 'going out' THAT long only a couple of months but we were seeing each other for a couple of months before that if that makes any sense..
    So any she no longer has any ties as her work has finished she was already considering moving to a bigger town to have more job options.

    However, the other day she suggested maybe she should just move in with me so we could spend more time together and I live in a big town so work would be easy to get. She has just stayed a few days and liked it here and we both had a great time being together here.

    But, would it be too soon? We have talked alot about it and I have said if she didn't like it she could always just move back out and move to the place she intended originally.

    Personally I love the idea the thought of being able to see her that more often would be great and i'd have more money to spoil her :p
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Wait...you're considering moving in with someone who you've only been in a LDR with? How far aprt and how often did you guys see each other before this?

    And don't be surprised if the seduction crew comes in and disses you for "spoiling her". They'll say it's a beta thing to do, she'll lose interest if you keep it up, etc, etc.
     
  3. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Just be prepared for things to either make it or fall apart. Living with someone is a huge deal, and you will get to know her in ways you never imagined (or wanted too :rofl: ). Are you prepared for that? Do it to early and your relationship will crumble...
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    if i were to err on any side, it would be this. :o

    id wait until i was (we were)
    - financially stable enough that money doesnt factor into my/our decison to move out/break up, should that happen
    - i wasnt in a transitional period (ie, out of school), and generally our personal lives are stable (no change of job or move anticipated)
    - resided in the same city for a while, and comfortable enough in our shared goals

    also, i dont like the idea of one person 'moving in' into whatever place the other currently resides in. i think you should move into a new place together. :dunno:
     
  5. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    She's looking for a free ride.
     
  6. Lindsay Loo

    Lindsay Loo ミ★ Mikel's POZ Partner ミ★

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    honestly judging by his posts, i have a similiar relationship as his. its about timing and knowing what you want and what you stand for and what makes you happy. when your life is in line and you meet that person, theres no reason why you cant have a good healthy relationship.

    and i agree with him. moving in too early can destroy a relationship. living with someone is a big transition!!
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2006
  7. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Moving in? Make sure BOTH of you have (1) enough cash to move out [moving costs, deposit, first months rent somewhere else] and (2) a flexible enough lease that either person can move out at either time (3) cheap enough rent that if one person does move out the other person is not fucked financially.

    I have seen a lot of folks, and have myself, get stuck after moving in with someone only to find things are not quite good enough, but then cannot move out. Being stuck living with someone who won't fuck you because you cannot afford to move out SUCKS.

    Be careful, the "free ride" comment smacks of truth.
     
  8. Lindsay Loo

    Lindsay Loo ミ★ Mikel's POZ Partner ミ★

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    thats what i would be wary of considering her situation and it was her idea to move in with him. i think if the decision was mutual or he asked her to move in then itd be different... but i still think if they move in that it needs to be a new place for them.
     
  9. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Whoa... is it just me or did half the posts in this thread dissapear?

    Anyway, be careful if you do let her move in because not only will it tax the relationship, but if you don't make her pay her way she'll just suck you dry of money and move on. Beware of gold-diggers!
     
  10. OFI

    OFI New Member

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    To answer a few questions...

    It has been a LDR from the start and we have seen each other almost every weekend.

    As for moving into a new place together I am moving in 2 weeks so it would be new to both of us (provided she moves in soon) The place I am moving to is a shared house I will be paying a fixed amount for my share/room the idea if she moved in would be to pay the extra for the share although she would be sharing my room. That way if she did move out it wouldn't effect me or anyone else in the house financially.

    She intends on going to uni but not for another year so will only be working between that time.

    As for RedvsBlue's post yea I understand the risk and it is a gamble... at thsi moment we think it can work but things can always change.

    Umm as for the comments about free ride and such we have talked for a while about ways we can be closer.

    Oh and we live 185 miles apart.

    Think that covers most things..

    I think general opinion is that it is quite risky and we should both cover our asses financially.
    The reason I would prefer her to move sooner is either way in the next couple of months she will have to move if she doesnt move here it will be to a place 130 miles away which isn't the end of the world but it's still 135 miles.. and once living there she won't be in a position to move for most likely a minimum of 6 months.
     
  11. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    well, are you prepared for her constantly being around, her stuff being around, tampons in your cabinets, girly products, makeup, hair stuff, her stealing your razor when hers goes dull....?

    As much as you love someone sometimes it's hard to live with their living habits. Just be prepared for that aspect.
     
  12. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    girls poop :eek3:
     
  13. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    :rofl: he's goign have one rude awakening the day he goes to the potty after she's dropped the post mexican lunch bomb :mamoru:
     
  14. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    and it stinks too :mamoru:
     
  15. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    i had been dating my fiancé for a year before we decided to move in together.

    but, we were both finished school, we both had full time jobs, and we were both ready to move out of our respective parent's homes.

    things have been fine ever since (hence why we got engaged). but i will also state that you do definitely learn things you never even thought were possible that occur when you live with someone else. its not even like having a roommate, because you're involved romantically with that person.

    you give up a lot of things. privacy (and believe me, you really do give this up, no matter how hard you try to fight it), set schedules (think shower and bathroom routines, eating schedules, shopping, tv, etc), space... there's a lot of compromise involved with living together.

    just make sure to keep communication open. if things start to go sour for you, VOICE YOUR OPINION. if she doesn't like it, she can get the fuck out. you were nice enough to give her a roof to live under afterall :rofl:
     
  16. OFI

    OFI New Member

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    I already live with a 32 year old woman lol she has loads of bathroom crap around and also poops :eek4:

    However obviously i'm not in a relationship with her :)


    Today she has told me that the guy she was intending to move to this other place with is now moving somewhere else so she won't be goign to live there now so who knows... I think we will see in a couple of months if it's still a good idea and see if it will work out.
     
  17. erobbins

    erobbins Active Member

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  18. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Sounds like a bad idea in your case.
     
  19. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    oh, and i would probably think its prudent to have lived on your own with and without others prior to moving in with a SO. :hs:
     
  20. OFI

    OFI New Member

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    Have done for 4 years so far :) moved out after finishing school, one of the only ppl in our area at work who doesn't live with parents.. :hs:
     
  21. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :werd: You need to know how to support yourself on your own, that way you arent always relying on your SO/roommate, which can make things alot easier for the both of you.
     
  22. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    I was in a LDR with my bf, and after 6 months I moved in with him. We've now been living together for 1 year 2 months, and are completely happy with it :) We combined finances a year ago. Everything has worked out great, even though it did take me a bit to find a job here. Wouldnt have it any other way.

    Its all about BOTH of you being ready though. Originally the bf and I were gonna wait until December 2005/January 2006 for me to move in, but I spent two weeks with him in summer 05 while the rest of his family was on vacation. A couple nights before they came back, he told me he wished I didnt have to leave again. Spent another 4 weeks with him, went home for a week, came back and officially moved in.
     
  23. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    i like this post :wiggle:
     

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