How dumb is it to let your SO's past bother you?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Nev, Sep 16, 2007.

  1. Nev

    Nev OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    25,457
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    SoCal
    I was just wondering this. I udnerstand that there are things you can't change, mistakes they've made etc.

    But if your SO has done things you don't agree with, does it bother you?
     
  2. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    20,480
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    fuck yah it does. you cant cry about it tho
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0

    it all depends on what was done, and how often it was done. If it seems like a pattern of bad behavior...well, she wouldn't be my gf in the first place.
     
  4. Nev

    Nev OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2004
    Messages:
    25,457
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    SoCal
    sleeping with a decent amt of people, sleeping with ppl you don't really approve of, etc

    Obv it was in the past...but...it does bother me
     
  5. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    20,480
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston, TX

    bothers me all the time too. girls from age 15-21 are turbo sluts. just gonna have to suck it up man.
     
  6. Bugalu

    Bugalu OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2003
    Messages:
    48,551
    Likes Received:
    64
    you dont hve control of her past.

    dont let it bother you cause she could be a really good girl....

    unless she's gone ass to mouth.
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    20,480
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    what if she goes ass to mouth for you?
     
  8. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2000
    Messages:
    21,936
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maine
    bother you yes, be an issue no.
     
  9. kiri

    kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2006
    Messages:
    25,186
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    my boyfriend and i are both pretty experienced, and we've talked about how it bugs both of us to talk about the other one's past (not like we've done anything THAT bad, it's just we don't like thinking about the other one sleeping with someone else :o). but we both know that that's what makes us so good in bed now :bigthumb: and he says that he just tells himself that i never slept with anyone else :mamoru:

    you just have to let it slide... it will only bother you if you let it consume your thoughts. just know that now she's with you, and only you, and it doesn't matter what she did before (unless she has gonorrhea or something).
     
  10. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,650
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charleston, SC
    Sometimes if I think about things my fiance's done, it bugs me. Therefore, I just dont think about it. I never saw him as the type to want to just go out and look for a drunk fuck for a night (the first 2 girls he slept with). He's told me about stuff he's done to/with his ex also, even though he'd originally said he'd never done "insert action here" with her (although he might have slept with her 10-15 times in the 4 mos they were together, not like it was much).

    I just think about how many things he "learned" with me, and how many firsts we've had. And I'll also be the last, so I definitely dont focus on his past, and he doesnt focus on mine :)
     
  11. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

    Joined:
    May 14, 2005
    Messages:
    15,613
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Francisco
    as long as you're going to be the last, it shouldn't bother you.

    if you have doubts about that, then you're insecure about the relationship for other reasons. you need to figure those reasons out and go from there.
     
  12. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2004
    Messages:
    14,518
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chi-Town
    For any random girl I am dating it doesn't really bother me. If I loved her, that would definitely be a different story. Fortunately for me, the only girl I have ever loved and really cared for was pretty new to the sexual scene and I was just about her first for everything aside from kissing.

    But now that I am not with her, I am going to be dealing with this very issue. Being 22, I expect just about every girl I date from here on out to have had a pretty solid sexual past with other guys.... I suppose i'll deal with that when I get there :squint:
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Before I would have written a long post about this saying yes, it absolutely does matter because someone's past actions are indicative of their fundamental personality type/beliefs/etc, and there is no "oh, that was the past, I'm not like that anymore" because people do not change fundamentally over time.

    Now, all I'm going to say is, whatever it is that is bothering you, you need to decide if you can live with it. If yes, then you're fine. If no, then break up.
     
  14. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2005
    Messages:
    16,536
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    KRAPROOM
    I would say if a girls past was cheating on every BF they ever had, or swinging, or sleeping with dirtbags, or other shady shit, uh...dump the cunt. But if her past is having a different boyfriend every 6 months since she was 16 and sleeping with all of them, making her number like over 10...so what?

    My motto is always, "I don't ask the questions that I may get an answer I don't like." It works out pretty well, but the guy I'm dating thinks it's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. ;)
     
  15. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2005
    Messages:
    16,536
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    KRAPROOM

    Oh, and I don't really believe this either...because I seriously have some friends that were a little wild from like 16-21 and are now more mature and settled down. Some girls really don't grow out of it though. It really does depend on the person though and you probably just have to get to know them because actions>words because as we all know some people lie.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Pasts always bother me more than they should...which is why I don't ask about them.
     
  17. ScorpionFrog

    ScorpionFrog New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2007
    Messages:
    172
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rip-off Britain
    Ignorance..I'd rather know and be paranoid, than not know and actually have some wench shagging everyone under the sun when im at work :p
     
  18. k0in b4hd

    k0in b4hd New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2004
    Messages:
    1,656
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    oregon
    better watch out, or you might catch a nice case of genital warts or herpes
     
  19. Bugalu

    Bugalu OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2003
    Messages:
    48,551
    Likes Received:
    64
    well thats fine.


    As long at it's in the heat of the moment.
     
  20. liquidPoop

    liquidPoop .........................

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2002
    Messages:
    2,793
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    well if its major stuff that could be signs of personality flaws then you shouldnt stick around but otherwise no cause you are the idiot that asked or found out.
     
  21. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    Not so much what they've done, but what their actions are indicitive of. People make mistakes, and you have to understand and respect that, but if their actions speak of a larger problem (low sense of self, lack of self respect, self destructive tendencies etc) then yes, it should bother you.
    People are capable of change, but few make any sort of changes deeper than behavioral, and the underlying issues come can manifest themselves in new ways.
     
  22. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2004
    Messages:
    1,062
    Likes Received:
    0
    :h5: Did you end up curbing that ex bf of yours?
     
  23. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    For sure. Once he was out of sight, it wasn't that hard, and it gave me all sorts of time to realize how much better I could do.
     
  24. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    jmeh. i don't believe their underlining belief structure changes....only the consequences.


    for instance. i used to smoke pot. i've since stopped. i don't think smoking pot is bad, simply it's no longer worth the risk for me anymore personally. nothing about who i am (or my moral set) has changed other than risk assessment.


    basically, given the opportunity, most people would do now what they did then. change is rare. so yah, the past matters.
     
  25. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2002
    Messages:
    15,741
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wellington, Florida Bitches!
    Don't cry over split milk.
     

Share This Page