How does this sound?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by islanderman7, Oct 12, 2006.

  1. islanderman7

    islanderman7 New Member

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    There is this girl who im interested whos like a 9 on my scale, and I think shes intersted in me. Anyways, I want to take her out to have a good time. But I dont want the whole "date" atmosphere. This is what I want to ask her: "Hey friend, come down to my room and join me for a walk after 7pm " (This is what time our Cafeteria closes, dont want to pay for dinner:hsd:).

    Some background, were both college students and we only been alone together once. Weve been messaging back and forth over facebook alot. Just recently it has gone to text messaging. So should I text, call, or go up to her room and ask her this? Ughhh Im freaking out over this omg!:noes:
     
  2. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    If you like her and want a relationship with her sometime dont say hey friend. Go up to her room and ask if she wants to go on a walk.
     
  3. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    :werd: Go to her room, or call her on the phone, but don't text or be like "hey friend" .. say "I'm going on a walk, I want you to come with me" or something along those lines.
     
  4. islanderman7

    islanderman7 New Member

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    well, the whole idea of the "friend" thing is going to be used in a flirty way. Like Ill definitely be hitting on her and such, but the psychology behind this is to make her think "is he not attracted to me?" "why does he keep calling me a friend, but is hitting on me?" its my little game i do w/ women and it works:p
     
  5. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Maybe it works, but if I was a chick and I heard you say "hey friend" I would be like "how much of a nerd are you?" :rolleyes: It wouldn't necessarily negatively affect your standing with me, but it wouldn't help :rofl:
     
  6. SabZ

    SabZ New Member

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    Yeah. There are better ways to get a chick rather than calling her "friend" and repeatedly flirting with her. It's like you want to confuse her to the point where she finds you annoying.
     
  7. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    It sounds a little gay to me. I am a girl and I would think that was stupid and then think of you as a "friend". Do what you want, imo its a bad idea.
     
  8. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    It is a great idea to be friends with girls, and to let them know they are just friends, but don't say "Hey friend." --- That is just trying too hard. And she'll notice.

    I usually call women what I call most of my guy friends, which is buddy. I'd say something like "Hey bud whatsup? I'm going for a walk....etc"

    Don't use "lines". If you really say stuff like "hey friend" and "join me for a walk" ---- well, it's kind of weird. If you don't normally talk like that, then don't talk like that at all.
     
  9. bucherfreund

    bucherfreund Guest

    So did you want to "take her out for a good time" or for a walk and a handjob? :mamoru:
    I am just confused because you said you don't want to have to pay for her dinner and then you are asking her to go for a walk or whatever. I mean, a walk seems nice if you have hung out a few times and you want to talk about your "status" or have some other kind of intimate talk, etc., but if this is your first time really hanging out, why don't you take her to dinner, to a bar, to play go pool, or something... I think having some sort of activity to do would be more fun and more fun means less pressure for her and for you. I don't necessarily think going out somewhere means it is a date. It's hanging out and getting to know someone. And to tell you the truth, I love the outdoors and think going for walks can be incredibly romantic, but if a guy I didn't know real well asked me to come down to his dorm room and go for a walk, I might be suspicious (sorry to say it, but some of us college women do worry about date rape and the like).
     
  10. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    And everyone else's scale, too. What are you going to do to stand out from the rest of the "guy" type guys she has run into? How are you going to seperate yourself and appear to be more mature, appear to be more discriminating, and appear to be more of a leader?

    By what actions has she proven interest? Does she seek you out, come to your room, call you, always look her best for you, touch you, stand close to you, look at you a lot? Explain so we can provide feedback.

    Oh, so you want to get friendzoned? Why in the world would you want to do that? You DO want to date her, it would appear, and you DO want to get to know her better, I think, yet you want to send her signals that you're like all the others guys are are going to try and do something sneaky, manipulative, and behind her back to win her over? How exactly is that going to work? How is that mature, confident, and challenging?

    I'd suggest you DO ask her on a date, so you can judge her actual interest level. If she accepts, then you will instantly know if she is into you. If she gives you any excuse, other than to suggest a different day due to her having other plans, then you will know she is not into you at all. And then you have also let her know that your intentions are to get to know her better, not walk her down some dark path and kidnap her.

    Friend? Friendzone? How about (1) call her by her name (2) suggest that the two of you go on a date some other night- sure as shit not a Friday or Saturday, by the way, try Monday or Tuesday and pick the time and place (3) judge her reaction.

    While you should not pay for her dinner, nor for any woman who you are not dating, you SHOULD pay for the date. I suggest Starbucks or an upscale bar/restuarant where you can sit and get something SMALL. The goal is not to feed her, but to have something to munch on while you talk. Dinner and movies are out.

    The longer you stay online, the quicker you will get friendzoned. Be an adult and go talk to her in person. You can look her in the eyes, flirt with her, guage her reactions, and take it from there.

    Relax. Be confident. If she turns you down, it's no big deal. She'll spread the word that you hit on her, and you handled it politely. If anything, say "Hey, no worries, I totally understand - you're just not into men, huh? ;) " Joke with her and then blow her off.
     
  11. -argonaut-

    -argonaut- New Member

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    Do as others here have suggested and go to her room and ask her face to face if she'd like to go for a walk so that the two of you can share some time together and actually talk to one another face to face.

    The idea, as you've implied, is that you're wanting to take your relationship with her to the next level and that means moving it to a "personal", face to face, level..., leave the phone and the text msgs. out of the picture and put you two in it.

    The intimacy created by the two of you actually, physically being together and conversing with one another about your likes, dislikes, interests, etc., etc., will firmly usher you into the next level of the evolving relationship or, at the very least, let you know where you stand with her.

    A good place to go that I've had great success with is a "go-kart track"."water-park bumper cars". The two of you can both compete separately (let her win), or ride together in a two-seater kart if you sense her desire for more intimacy. This way, you both get to have fun/enjoy yourselves without the trappings of a "date" environment.

    Girls look for guys that they can have fun with, that make them laugh, and the more that she finds that she's able to unwind, feel comfortable and have fun with you, the better position you'll be in to move the relationship to the next level..., just keep an eye out for the opportunity so that you can take advantage of it when it presents itself and not miss it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2006
  12. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Don't call her "friend."

    But you could be like Joe Rogan on Fear Factor and all the girls on your show "kid." Man that's lame. Does anyone else hate that or is it just me? He'll be like "way to go, kid, you totally ate that whole cow intestine" or whatever. But if it's a guy, he'll say "way to go, dude, you totally ate that whole cow intestine."
     
  13. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    :rofl:

    You don't pay for her things unless you're in a relationship. I do agree with you and everyone else saying DON'T call her "friend". That sounds extremely cheesy.
     
  14. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    you fail
     
  15. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Yet another spectacular post by A-bomb.

    To the OP...

    If you want to date this girl,. yet call her friend to her face, you're going to totally convince her that you want to just be friends. Not willing to pay for dinner? You're either low on money (which happens in college, it's not an insult), or you're just a cheapskate. If you want to get into a relationship, you're going to have to invest some resources into it. This means time, energy, money, and effort.

    If you're unwilling to even take a girl out for something to eat, what do you think she will think of that? She will see a guy who is unwilling to invest anything in her...in short, a complete waste of her time.
     
  16. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    What do you think a woman really wants? I think it's safe to say they want someone fun, interesting, challenging... someone who makes her FEEL good and who she feels attraction for. Why in the world would you pay for someone's dinner who just met?

    To me, buying dinner for someone you just met is wussy behavior. Understand that doing things such as paying for dinner is good if you're in a relationship. However, doing that for someone you're just getting to know is basically trying to manipulate someone with money hoping that they'll like you for it. Same thing applies when guys offer to buy girls drinks at the bar, give them compliments right away, ect. It's a TURN OFF for women. If you don't believe me, go ask some hot women you know.
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    i wasnt really meaning like a full course fancy dinner. I was just trying to stress the point that it could make him sound like he was unwilling to put anything into the effort to try to get this girl.

    He needs to be actively involved in the process, and at least show a little effort. No one said he had to go out and do something super expensive or fancy for the girl...but just asking her to go on a walk isn't going to get her attention that much.

    Hell, asking her to go bowling or something, and each paying for themselves would work.

    I simply read the part about not wanting to pay for dinner, and thought that it might be an indication of an attitude of "I don't want to have to put much work into this to get what I want". I'm trying to say that if he wants to advance things with the girl, he WILL need to put some effort into it.

    I apologize for not making that clear in my first post.
     
  18. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Oh ok... from your response I just figured you were someone who thinks a guy should take a woman who he just met out to dinner and pay for it. Anyway, I agree that a walk is boring. As you mentioned, even bowling would be a much better option. You get the competition thing going and have fun. Take her for a walk and you better be a damn good talker(interesting, funny, ect.)
     
  19. islanderman7

    islanderman7 New Member

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    Thanks for all the input guys. I guess the "friend" thing is out the window, but originally I got this idea from David D. He suggests that sending mixed signals builds attraction.

    About the "I dont want to buy dinner" thing, Toda Party understands what I am getting at. I barely know her and I dont want to show wussy behavior by making her feel that I have to buy her attention. I honestly really dont mind being nice buying dinner when were dating, but that will be on my own terms.


    1)She messaged me one night asking what I was up to one night.
    2)For a first metting, I invited her over to teach her how to play shuffle board and she came over w/ a friend.
    3)The friend she came over w/ leaves to go to some choir tryouts. She could have left me and go to choir tryouts.
    4)Afterwards, she took me to a room Ive never heard of on campus. It was a music room. And she was showing me some of her composition on the piano.
    5) I bust out my piano skills and she had this awe struck face cuz she didnt know I could play.
    6)Before the night was over, we got into some outfits ideas what the other should wear for halloween. I told her she would look good in a japanese kimono (she looks japanese but isnt) she laughs. She tells me I should go in one of those sumo outfits, and I accused her of wanting to see me in a thong. And she playfully hits me.
    7)Overall I feel that the vibes have been good between us.

    never thought about that. your right, we barely know each other, but the whole idea behind this is inviting her into my "territory". and I go to a Christian College, so I highly doubt any of the girls would think the guys will pull a date rape stunt here.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2006
  20. islanderman7

    islanderman7 New Member

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    i dont think walks are boring, you just gotta have a good places to walk too like on the beach or some cool places that have echoes. my campus is like 10min away from the beach and our campus is quite exquisite. On top of that i know i can carry on a conversation thats intersting so that would not be a problem.
     
  21. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Yeah...so you take her to the beach, where there are either a bunch of people for you and/or her to get distracted by, or some sand and water...if it's just you and her at the beach....wow, sand and water. That will keep her entertained for a few minutes, but then what?

    Oh, and a place with echoes? Echo, echo, echo, ok that was fun for about a minute.

    You better have one hell of a conversation list lined up for the night.

    My iimpression is that this is a great hangout for friends, but it's really not so great for a first date.

    And yes, I know, I'm starting to sound like Poco.

    It scares me too.
     
  22. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    The whole "being friends" thing is hilarious because of the mixed signals it will send if you're doing everything right. What we're saying is that calling her "friend" sounds cheesy.

    How come you didn't make a move on her in the music room? As far as the whole walk thing- hey, whatever works for you. Just don't talk about the usual, boring stuff.
     
  23. islanderman7

    islanderman7 New Member

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    MattThom01, I think your being a little short sighted here. I mean I see what your saying, but I dont plan on entertaining her through secenary, but through a stimulating conversation that builds attraction.

    ahhhhaaa, i see what you guys are saying about the "friend" thing.

    didnt feel like i built enough attraction to make a move yet in the music room.:o
     
  24. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    eh, fair enough. Keep us updated on how it goes/went!
     
  25. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Overall I think you're on the right track, now that I see the details. I think the music room interaction was great. I would not wait too much longer, however, before asking her on a date. She's likely wondering why you haven't asked yet. My recommendation is the old 7-10 day window. Longer than that and you risk her losing attraction for you.

    You say you want to build attraction - do that on a date!
     

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